A few days ago, I went on the worst date of my entire dating career.
This guy had promise. We hit it off on the phone/text/email and I didn't wait too long before wanting to meet him in person.
We're both lacking in funds, so I suggested a walk around my favorite museum, the Hirshhorn. He agreed enthusiastically and I had hope.
To me, museum walking is one of my ways to test the water. If the guy I'm with isn't interested in museum stuff, he's dead to me.
The following is a pretty detailed account of our afternoon in DC:
1pm- I arrive at the metro station, where we are supposed to meet. I receive a text message from the guy saying he was running 20 minutes late. I text him back saying I'll meet him in a building because it's ass hot. He replies "ok, meet me at the crypt." This automatically sends mini terror spasms down my back and I should have just left then. Instead, I made him clarify and discovered he meant the Smithsonian castle.
120pm- I am sitting inside the castle after walking around the mini exhibits inside. He's still not there and I still hadn't heard from him.
1:29pm- get a text from him saying he's still running late, so I decide to call my friend, NotMetal and talk to her for awhile. She cheers me up and we talk about scrambled eggs and Chuck Klosterman.
1:40pm-He finally shows up. Walks up to me outside the castle wearing cheapy reflector sunglasses, a beat up sports team t-shirt, khaki shorts, and sneakers. He looks nothing like I thought he would. (Which is my fault, I know I know)
1:41-1:43pm- En route to the Hirshhorn, he proceeds to point out the fact that I'm dressed all wrong for museum walking, judging by the flip flops, jeans, and black shirt I am wearing. This does not stop him from peering down my low cut shirt nor complaining about it being so hot outside.
1:44-2:something- We get to the Hirshhorn. He insists on walking through the same little section of the spinning door as I do, prompting the security guard to chastize him by saying, "Now, I wouldn't want to leave her side either, but it's one at a time" and prompting him in turn to not his head and guffaw like a redneck. We then go downstairs, where I know the cool tv exhibit is. We entered Black Box and proceeded to watch the carefully crafted videos. It's pretty awesome, especially the video with the Yeti. I look over at one point and he goes "wow, we need to take some E and come back to watch this." I kind of laugh and he goes "no, seriously, i should go find some." I shake my head and ignore him. After the first video, the people sitting to my left get up and move and in the dark, I see an older lady come in, so I offer to move over so she can find a seat closer to the door. I get up and move and try to tell the guy that we should move and he just looks at me, then gives a dirty look to the old lady and finally moves to where I am. Yeah, a dirty look. I sigh and leave the room.
The rest of the Hirshhorn visit was filled with lewd comments about boobs and other genetalia, including him asking me if seeing an artful photograph of a man's penis "turned me on."
2:30ish-the bane of my existence- At this point I tried to make excuses to leave, but he told me that I needed to just go with him to the Native American Museum to check out the guns.
I.love.guns. So I figured I could tune him out long enough to see me some guns, then leave.
Little did I know that he was saving some "big guns" of his own to show me at the museum. He really impressed me with the way he shoved people with kids out of the way to get on the elevator first and how he took his paper fan and quite rudely shoved air in my face while at the same time leering down my shirt again, oh and don't forget my favorite part when I was taking pictures of the coolest exhibit there (i HATE the native american museum, it sucks. I'm not talking content-wise, some of the artwork is amazing, but the design of the museum is awful and they sure as hell didn't have much to show for years and years of history), the Day of the Dead stuff, when a tour guide and her company came up and the lady started talking loudly through a headset/microphone. This set my date off and he started complaining loudly about how rude it was that the lady was being so loud. He sounded like a little kid!!!
After this I practically ran to the metro. Along the way we passed a guy selling water for $1, of which guyiwaswith gulped down as though I wasn't even there, then we passed two guys calmly passing out information about their religion, which pissed guyface off so much he started yelling at them. We got on the metro and I was silent the entire time. We got to his stop, I half waved, and he got off.
Leaving all of his garbage on the seat next to me.
I haven't talked to him since and I've actually decided I'm pretty happy being single right now. It may be a few more weeks before I get back on the horse, well, at least until I take a guy to a museum anyway...
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Summer Love
I blame Justin Timberlake, but I am itching for a summer love. With August quickly approaching and fall soon to be on the horizon, I want to pause these summer months so I can head to the beach, put on a short skirt and some flip flips and dance until the sun comes up at an outdoor party. I want to lounge on the sand until my boredom gets the best of me and I join in on a casual game of touch football. I want to drink margaritas with cute straws and umbrella decorations. I really want to doze while laying on a boat rocking on the sea.
Oh, but wait. I hate summer, don't I? I hate to be hot and living in Virginia sort of is a promise of being hot from May until the end of September. I haven't even been to the beach yet this summer season so I am not apt to wish for more heat, I just want it to be fall already! I don't feel like summer is prime time for me to find some lovin'. Summer sucks unless one is on vacation, in my opinion. Otherwise, it just makes the everyday more uncomfortable. How am I supposed to look hott when it's too humid to straighten my hair and my eyeliner melts off my face? Cold weather months are much better for finding love, in my opinion. I think Mr. JT needs to write the song, "Winter Love," an instant hit with NotCarrie!
Oh, but wait. I hate summer, don't I? I hate to be hot and living in Virginia sort of is a promise of being hot from May until the end of September. I haven't even been to the beach yet this summer season so I am not apt to wish for more heat, I just want it to be fall already! I don't feel like summer is prime time for me to find some lovin'. Summer sucks unless one is on vacation, in my opinion. Otherwise, it just makes the everyday more uncomfortable. How am I supposed to look hott when it's too humid to straighten my hair and my eyeliner melts off my face? Cold weather months are much better for finding love, in my opinion. I think Mr. JT needs to write the song, "Winter Love," an instant hit with NotCarrie!
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Missed Connections
In order to properly celebrate NotDarling’s birthday, the chicas and I crammed into a car and headed into DC on Friday to spend the evening declaring our favorite things about our birthday boy and buying him (and us) some super strong drinks.
Tryst was way less crowded than the last time I remember, but it worked out well for getting drinks and checking out the crowd. Sometime in the night we decided that we wanted to have some “Missed Connections” and from then on kept our eyes peeled for worthy recipients while at the same time positioning ourselves to be missed as well.
Checking online the next day quickly revealed that we had not had any missed connections, unfortunately. Having celebrated the birthday boy’s day was much more important, but it would have been hysterical to see a message on Craigslist like, “Hott guy with four women. You single and/or a pimp?”
I usually forget to go to Craigslist, to be honest. I think it is because I know I will get addicted. I have posted one missed connection in the past for someone who comes to the second job frequently, but that’s the extent of my MC experience.
When I do think to go there and browse the missed connections, I find them to be a bit overwhelming so I have thought of a few things to keep in mind when writing your next one:
+The location MUST be on there. When I scan, I scan for where I have been, of course.
+Put your age. No one wants to reply to a skeevy 80 year old pervert. (Unless you’re an 80 year old pervert-lover.)
+Make the subject line very clear and eye catching. Either put the place or a defining physical feature of mine in there. Otherwise, my eyes will skim over it while reading.
+Don’t try to be too cute in the body of the message. If you sound weird, no one will respond.
+Do not sound like you stalked me and now know my bra size, third grade teacher’s name, and apartment number. Creepy!
Has anyone had a successful missed connection??
And by the way, this is our 666th post.
Tryst was way less crowded than the last time I remember, but it worked out well for getting drinks and checking out the crowd. Sometime in the night we decided that we wanted to have some “Missed Connections” and from then on kept our eyes peeled for worthy recipients while at the same time positioning ourselves to be missed as well.
Checking online the next day quickly revealed that we had not had any missed connections, unfortunately. Having celebrated the birthday boy’s day was much more important, but it would have been hysterical to see a message on Craigslist like, “Hott guy with four women. You single and/or a pimp?”
I usually forget to go to Craigslist, to be honest. I think it is because I know I will get addicted. I have posted one missed connection in the past for someone who comes to the second job frequently, but that’s the extent of my MC experience.
When I do think to go there and browse the missed connections, I find them to be a bit overwhelming so I have thought of a few things to keep in mind when writing your next one:
+The location MUST be on there. When I scan, I scan for where I have been, of course.
+Put your age. No one wants to reply to a skeevy 80 year old pervert. (Unless you’re an 80 year old pervert-lover.)
+Make the subject line very clear and eye catching. Either put the place or a defining physical feature of mine in there. Otherwise, my eyes will skim over it while reading.
+Don’t try to be too cute in the body of the message. If you sound weird, no one will respond.
+Do not sound like you stalked me and now know my bra size, third grade teacher’s name, and apartment number. Creepy!
Has anyone had a successful missed connection??
And by the way, this is our 666th post.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
‘Youth is wasted on the young’
They were too young and hadn’t sown enough wild oats.
The radio show continued with people calling in to give their opinions on the issue. One woman hit it on the head for me. “You have to work at it.”
I arrived at work and turned off the car along with the show and couldn’t help but think that ‘youth is wasted on the young.’ Just the idea of finding that person who may be for me right now gives me hope. But to listen to NotMetrosexual and his girlfriend piss it away because they haven’t banged enough partners is pretty sad.
The very idea that NotMetrosexual and his girlfriend didn’t think they could work through it l makes me equally angry and sad. Angry, because of the absolutely laziness of NotMetrosexual and his girlfriend and sad because this is what I feel a society of instant gratification has spawned.
No one wants to work at relationships anymore. If things don’t work out, it’s easier to just move on. I’m seeing it more and more in everyday things as well. Don’t like your job, no problem, you can find a new one tomorrow. Angry with your friends, don’t try and fix the problem just ignore it and them and it will all go away. Don’t want to parent your children, that’s easy just turn the tv on and instant babysitter.
While some of my examples are extreme, they have some merit. Those of the baby boomer generation (and earlier) worked through their issues (or at lease appeared to), they took responsibility for the mistakes they made and didn’t blame one another. Why aren’t we working through things? Why aren’t we taking responsibility for ourselves? Why is youth wasted on the young?
I don’t have many answers, but I know that if we don’t stop sowing our oats and keep the wheat on the chaff we will soon be a field of unfulfilled dreams.*
*how do you like that metaphor?
Sunday, July 08, 2007
Feeling like the third, fifth and seventh wheel..
Saturday night I went out to help NotBeauty celebrate her 21st birthday.
Yep, that's right, your eyes did not deceive you. I helped someone celebrate their 21st birthday. Since its been seven years since my own, this was quite nostalgic for me. I dressed to semi-impress and with keys, cash and attitude in hand I headed out for NotBilliards.
And was completely thrown for a loop at the couplehood that was there.
NotASong and NotABarber
NotBeauty and NotBruceLee
NotANympho and NotMoney
and so on and so on and so on.
In short. I was the odd woman out, without a date that is. And before I let myself descend into my own one woman pity party, I considered the options.
I could:
1) Make my excuses and go home early.
2) Hit on someone's date (such a bad bday party faux pas)
3) Hit on some of the innocent bystanders
4) Drink enough to numb myself to the fact that I was at another party without my 'part' leaving me with 'y'.
5) Make the best of the situation by reveling with friends and the vowing to find someone to go to the next shindig where large groups would be in attendance.
My choice was a combo of 4 and 5. I got a pleasant buzz on and thought about what I would need to do to remedy my current dateless situation. Which is quite interesting as I don't like to go out much to any of the places where I could do a meet and greet with members of the opposite sex. I've decided to take a new method for jumping back into the dating pool. I'm going to hit up my already paired off friends for possible dating material amongst their single male friends.
*crosses fingers and prays she doesn't regret this later*
Yep, that's right, your eyes did not deceive you. I helped someone celebrate their 21st birthday. Since its been seven years since my own, this was quite nostalgic for me. I dressed to semi-impress and with keys, cash and attitude in hand I headed out for NotBilliards.
And was completely thrown for a loop at the couplehood that was there.
NotASong and NotABarber
NotBeauty and NotBruceLee
NotANympho and NotMoney
and so on and so on and so on.
In short. I was the odd woman out, without a date that is. And before I let myself descend into my own one woman pity party, I considered the options.
I could:
1) Make my excuses and go home early.
2) Hit on someone's date (such a bad bday party faux pas)
3) Hit on some of the innocent bystanders
4) Drink enough to numb myself to the fact that I was at another party without my 'part' leaving me with 'y'.
5) Make the best of the situation by reveling with friends and the vowing to find someone to go to the next shindig where large groups would be in attendance.
My choice was a combo of 4 and 5. I got a pleasant buzz on and thought about what I would need to do to remedy my current dateless situation. Which is quite interesting as I don't like to go out much to any of the places where I could do a meet and greet with members of the opposite sex. I've decided to take a new method for jumping back into the dating pool. I'm going to hit up my already paired off friends for possible dating material amongst their single male friends.
*crosses fingers and prays she doesn't regret this later*
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Starting Fresh*
* This thing will be taken over by asterisks if I try to explain and clarify everything. That said, if you question something-ask, but I'm not using the interweb to work through problems.
So, starting fresh.
Do I have a crush on anybody?
Ummm, yes and no. I definitely had a Friend Crush on NotGraceful when we first starting talking past formalities and found we had things in common and got along well. (If we're talking timelines, this would have been around the winter holidays when he started hanging out with our group more.) Do I flirt with him? Yes. Is my flirting with him different than my flirting with any of my other guys friends? No. Do I sit around and draw hearts around his pictures and wonder how his last name will fit with mine? No. Do I want him to want me? Of course I do. I want everyone to want me.
Who is the last person I kissed?
NotGraceful. Is it something I planned on? No. Do I hope it happens again? Yes, but like I said, I'm not sitting around thinking about him and hoping he calls and wondering if he wants my sass. I think we all know I went through quite the kissing drought so when there's the opportunity for 'rain', a girls gotta go for it. Especially when drunk. Bitch, please. When I say I want it to happen again, I just mean the kiss, he's just been in the right place at the right time recently. Whether or not he continues to be the last person I kissed remains to be told, but he is my friend, first and foremost, and that's not something I'm looking to change. My want/need to makeout is separate from my friendship with him. I do not have tunnel vision when it comes to kissing.
So, starting fresh.
Do I have a crush on anybody?
Ummm, yes and no. I definitely had a Friend Crush on NotGraceful when we first starting talking past formalities and found we had things in common and got along well. (If we're talking timelines, this would have been around the winter holidays when he started hanging out with our group more.) Do I flirt with him? Yes. Is my flirting with him different than my flirting with any of my other guys friends? No. Do I sit around and draw hearts around his pictures and wonder how his last name will fit with mine? No. Do I want him to want me? Of course I do. I want everyone to want me.
Who is the last person I kissed?
NotGraceful. Is it something I planned on? No. Do I hope it happens again? Yes, but like I said, I'm not sitting around thinking about him and hoping he calls and wondering if he wants my sass. I think we all know I went through quite the kissing drought so when there's the opportunity for 'rain', a girls gotta go for it. Especially when drunk. Bitch, please. When I say I want it to happen again, I just mean the kiss, he's just been in the right place at the right time recently. Whether or not he continues to be the last person I kissed remains to be told, but he is my friend, first and foremost, and that's not something I'm looking to change. My want/need to makeout is separate from my friendship with him. I do not have tunnel vision when it comes to kissing.
Now I remember why I stopped watching tv...
I gave up watching tv on the regular basis about 3 years ago. Between reality shows and the paparazzi vying for the attention of the latest starlet/studlet I couldn't be bothered to keep up. However, occasionally, when I'm held against my will and my eyes are held open with toothpicks I'm forced to watch it.
Like when I'm at the gym.
Five walls of television. Each with a 60 inch lcd tv, and on four of the five, some squalling celeb posturing for the cameras or some reality show making stars out of the next 'real' person.
This is what we call entertainment? Pardon me while I go run my head through the exercise bike.
Like when I'm at the gym.
Five walls of television. Each with a 60 inch lcd tv, and on four of the five, some squalling celeb posturing for the cameras or some reality show making stars out of the next 'real' person.
This is what we call entertainment? Pardon me while I go run my head through the exercise bike.
Monday, July 02, 2007
Everybody cares, everybody understands
This site has been filled with so many half truths and incomplete stories for the past few months that I want to scream. I'm surprised any of you bother to read it any more. I know I barely do. Well, stay tuned party people. If my predictions come true, things will start to get a bit interesting here as truth comes out.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Subject Of Gossip? ME?!
On Monday, a friend at work, and one who is notorious for being up on and spreading the gossip, said to me, "So I heard NotGraceful gave you a ride home Saturday night!"
Ok, what? I am never the subject of gossip there either because people think (assume? know?) I'm boring or because for the longest time most people thought I was dating NotDarling. I was taken aback for a split second wondering how she had heard that and why anyone cared. Part of me wanted to insinuate a lot in my reply and either wink as I answered her in the negative or fake blush so she'd think the worst.
Instead I said, "Oh no, not a ride home." and went on with my work. While being the subject of gossip is slightly flattering, I think I'd rather just go on with everyone therethinking knowing that I'm just really boring.
Ok, what? I am never the subject of gossip there either because people think (assume? know?) I'm boring or because for the longest time most people thought I was dating NotDarling. I was taken aback for a split second wondering how she had heard that and why anyone cared. Part of me wanted to insinuate a lot in my reply and either wink as I answered her in the negative or fake blush so she'd think the worst.
Instead I said, "Oh no, not a ride home." and went on with my work. While being the subject of gossip is slightly flattering, I think I'd rather just go on with everyone there
Monday, June 25, 2007
Accidental Drunk
Same night, different story.
I know that when people say, "I didn't mean to get that drunk" eye rolling is usually involved and no one believes the speaker, but I promise you, I did not mean to get that drunk on Saturday night! I guess I hadn't eaten enough because one beer in and I was feeling it. So a few more later and I was good to go.
And to the dance floor I went when our group decided to migrate back inside to the bar area. Now, I like to dance, but I usually don't proposition random guys to join me on the dance floor. Saturday, though, I went up to a group of about seven guys and yelled over the music, "Why are you just standing here! There are women on the dance floor! Go dance!" I think they thought I was crazy, but it was their loss and I grabbed some random guy who was walking by and danced with him for one song.
At this point in the evening NotCharlotte and I had a bit of a flashback to my birthday in NYC when we met guys from the UK who later invited us back to their place. All the dancing had me pretty drunk so NotCharlotte can fill in any of these details if she wants, but it was fun talking to them even if I had to say "What?" after everything they said. I also remember yelling that I love Andy Murray and that Scotland is the best place there is. But I don't go home with strangers because when random guys (even if they do have hott accents) invite random girls over, they usually want one thing, and I am a classy lady... Okay, I'm not always a classy lady, but having el sexo with strangers isn't what I do. Safety first, right?
Anyway, after exchanging numbers with NotIrish and his buddies, it was last call and time to go. I had actually given NotGraceful a ride* to the bar, but I was a horrible, irresponsible DD so he had to give me a ride back to his house so I could sober up. We ended up having el sexo all night, which was pretty hott. I kid. I'm a kidder. There was no el sexo, but isn't that how you'd like the story to end?
*oooh, scandal!
I know that when people say, "I didn't mean to get that drunk" eye rolling is usually involved and no one believes the speaker, but I promise you, I did not mean to get that drunk on Saturday night! I guess I hadn't eaten enough because one beer in and I was feeling it. So a few more later and I was good to go.
And to the dance floor I went when our group decided to migrate back inside to the bar area. Now, I like to dance, but I usually don't proposition random guys to join me on the dance floor. Saturday, though, I went up to a group of about seven guys and yelled over the music, "Why are you just standing here! There are women on the dance floor! Go dance!" I think they thought I was crazy, but it was their loss and I grabbed some random guy who was walking by and danced with him for one song.
At this point in the evening NotCharlotte and I had a bit of a flashback to my birthday in NYC when we met guys from the UK who later invited us back to their place. All the dancing had me pretty drunk so NotCharlotte can fill in any of these details if she wants, but it was fun talking to them even if I had to say "What?" after everything they said. I also remember yelling that I love Andy Murray and that Scotland is the best place there is. But I don't go home with strangers because when random guys (even if they do have hott accents) invite random girls over, they usually want one thing, and I am a classy lady... Okay, I'm not always a classy lady, but having el sexo with strangers isn't what I do. Safety first, right?
Anyway, after exchanging numbers with NotIrish and his buddies, it was last call and time to go. I had actually given NotGraceful a ride* to the bar, but I was a horrible, irresponsible DD so he had to give me a ride back to his house so I could sober up. We ended up having el sexo all night, which was pretty hott. I kid. I'm a kidder. There was no el sexo, but isn't that how you'd like the story to end?
*oooh, scandal!
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Enough is Enough
I've had it with NotGraceful. You guys all know my problems in the past with him.
Last night, NotBigMouth invited us all out to a bar (one that's slowly becoming my favorite) and everything was fine and dandy until he showed up.
I decided to ignore him the entire time which, in hindsight, isn't the most mature way of handling things, however the only words I wished to exchange with him were ones that weren't too kind. Also, I didn't want everyone and their mother knowing my business.
It worked though, I didn't talk to him once over the course of the evening. That didn't stop him, however, from making condescending remarks towards me the entire night.
I sat there and realized that even if my friends wanted to hang out with him, I don't. I don't need that negativity in my life. He is the complete opposite of anyone I would want to hang out with, ever. He's pretentious about music, which is all he wants to talk about. He is constantly moody and when he tries to make funny comments, they fail. The only thing he's good at is getting drunk and acting like an idiot. Now that's funny.
I know this probably makes me a hypocrite, seeing as how I used to hook up with him, but I think that was before I knew better and had thought long and hard about this fucked up situation. It also helped to talk it through with a few people that weren't directly involved in this whole thing.
If people still want to hang out with him, then maybe they're not the kind of people that I should be hanging out with. From here on out, if he's going to be at a social event, I'm going to think long and hard before I go as well. I used to be of the mindset that I should have every right to go, even if the bastard's there, but now I just can't handle it. I've got too many good things going on in my life right now to have my good mood ruined by an unmotivated, uneducated, lazy asshole.
Last night, NotBigMouth invited us all out to a bar (one that's slowly becoming my favorite) and everything was fine and dandy until he showed up.
I decided to ignore him the entire time which, in hindsight, isn't the most mature way of handling things, however the only words I wished to exchange with him were ones that weren't too kind. Also, I didn't want everyone and their mother knowing my business.
It worked though, I didn't talk to him once over the course of the evening. That didn't stop him, however, from making condescending remarks towards me the entire night.
I sat there and realized that even if my friends wanted to hang out with him, I don't. I don't need that negativity in my life. He is the complete opposite of anyone I would want to hang out with, ever. He's pretentious about music, which is all he wants to talk about. He is constantly moody and when he tries to make funny comments, they fail. The only thing he's good at is getting drunk and acting like an idiot. Now that's funny.
I know this probably makes me a hypocrite, seeing as how I used to hook up with him, but I think that was before I knew better and had thought long and hard about this fucked up situation. It also helped to talk it through with a few people that weren't directly involved in this whole thing.
If people still want to hang out with him, then maybe they're not the kind of people that I should be hanging out with. From here on out, if he's going to be at a social event, I'm going to think long and hard before I go as well. I used to be of the mindset that I should have every right to go, even if the bastard's there, but now I just can't handle it. I've got too many good things going on in my life right now to have my good mood ruined by an unmotivated, uneducated, lazy asshole.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
The Early Bird...
Note to self: Go to the NotCheers bar around 5pm on a Thursday evening, but not just to pick up your to go order. Getting hit on by cute men while you're simply paying for the opportunity to eat your salad in front of the tv during Top Chef is quite well worth it. Oh, and next time take them up on that offer for a drink. Best 3 bucks they'd ever spend ;-)
(Note to readers: I am not crazy, I didn't take them up on the offer because I had already made plans to sit in front of the tv with someone else... and believe me, it wasn't NotBaker.)
(Note to readers: I am not crazy, I didn't take them up on the offer because I had already made plans to sit in front of the tv with someone else... and believe me, it wasn't NotBaker.)
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
NotSamantha's not in right now, please leave your name, number and a brief message after the tone...
I've been unavailable as of late. On every front. Hell, I've even avoided the blog for what feels like forever.
I've been hiding out in my room.
Not going out, and the dating thing...dropped like a bad pickup line. Why? No clue. I just don't have the motivation to do much of anything. Okay, I take that back. I do have the motivation to do a few things, but not much. However, one of the problems with avoiding just about everyone is that I can't avoid myself.
And let me tell you this, being with myself is not all fun and games. Because the problem with spending time with myself, is that I'm also spending time with my mind, and as we all know, an idle mind is like idle hands, only worse. Which is how I came to jump onto the subject of marriage and me.
I've begun to realize that issues or not, I'm not exactly pleased with myself as a person, and I'm one of those, can't love anyone until I love me first people. Thus, dating and all variations thereof, had been moved to the back burner. Tonight, however, offered what I think was a step in the right direction.
I had dinner with one of my favorite couples, NotDippy and NotANinja where I kept reiterating this one statement:
"I'm only doing this marriage thing once."
Which is cause for even more intense introspection. What I mean is that in this day and age of instant gratification, is it possible to find that one person, so that you can only do the 'marriage thing' once?
I'm picky. And I've never hidden that fact, I have a list and standards that is a mile long, but outside of all that I think that in a relationship, you need to be able to work things out, no matter what the list says. The marriage statistics of today prove that either people aren't working it out, or an entire generation of Generation Xers have looked at the Baby Boomers and turned collective noses up at the very idea of staying married or rather staying married to one person for longer than 5 years. And don't give me that whole "times were different" spiel. I'm not denying that, but I am arguing that treating marriage like a game of Truth or Dare isn't necessarily ideal either. And then I look deeper within and try to figure out why I'm so keyed into marriage right now. I don't have a biological clock (and if I do, I've probably thrown it out of whack after my post on children), I'm not actively looking for a partner and I've got facts staring me in the face, that tell me that marriage isn't a sure thing after all.
And yet, I want to do it anyway.
So, talking with NotDippy and NotaNinja was helpful in discovering that yes things go screwy, yes, you sometimes want to walk away, and yes things (issues, facial ticks, pet peeves) can overwhelm, but they're not absolutes and can be worked out for the better of both people in the relationship. Key word here being 'work.' So while I work on me in the hopes of finding my special someone I wish everyone else well in their own search.
So maybe introspection is a good thing. Soul searching for a soul mate...withdrawal into the self to draw them to you...?
I've been hiding out in my room.
Not going out, and the dating thing...dropped like a bad pickup line. Why? No clue. I just don't have the motivation to do much of anything. Okay, I take that back. I do have the motivation to do a few things, but not much. However, one of the problems with avoiding just about everyone is that I can't avoid myself.
And let me tell you this, being with myself is not all fun and games. Because the problem with spending time with myself, is that I'm also spending time with my mind, and as we all know, an idle mind is like idle hands, only worse. Which is how I came to jump onto the subject of marriage and me.
I've begun to realize that issues or not, I'm not exactly pleased with myself as a person, and I'm one of those, can't love anyone until I love me first people. Thus, dating and all variations thereof, had been moved to the back burner. Tonight, however, offered what I think was a step in the right direction.
I had dinner with one of my favorite couples, NotDippy and NotANinja where I kept reiterating this one statement:
"I'm only doing this marriage thing once."
Which is cause for even more intense introspection. What I mean is that in this day and age of instant gratification, is it possible to find that one person, so that you can only do the 'marriage thing' once?
I'm picky. And I've never hidden that fact, I have a list and standards that is a mile long, but outside of all that I think that in a relationship, you need to be able to work things out, no matter what the list says. The marriage statistics of today prove that either people aren't working it out, or an entire generation of Generation Xers have looked at the Baby Boomers and turned collective noses up at the very idea of staying married or rather staying married to one person for longer than 5 years. And don't give me that whole "times were different" spiel. I'm not denying that, but I am arguing that treating marriage like a game of Truth or Dare isn't necessarily ideal either. And then I look deeper within and try to figure out why I'm so keyed into marriage right now. I don't have a biological clock (and if I do, I've probably thrown it out of whack after my post on children), I'm not actively looking for a partner and I've got facts staring me in the face, that tell me that marriage isn't a sure thing after all.
And yet, I want to do it anyway.
So, talking with NotDippy and NotaNinja was helpful in discovering that yes things go screwy, yes, you sometimes want to walk away, and yes things (issues, facial ticks, pet peeves) can overwhelm, but they're not absolutes and can be worked out for the better of both people in the relationship. Key word here being 'work.' So while I work on me in the hopes of finding my special someone I wish everyone else well in their own search.
So maybe introspection is a good thing. Soul searching for a soul mate...withdrawal into the self to draw them to you...?
Monday, June 18, 2007
Wine Parties
My weekend was quiet, which was probably just what I needed. After an early work shift on Saturday, I headed with NotMiranda into the city to attend a party being thrown by her old boss. We showed up with a bottle of wine which turned out to be what about 80% of the crowd was drinking. Lately I've been a total beer girl so I pretty much just sipped on my glass while we mingled and chatted. We did the obligatory small talk with a few people and I listened in while NotMiranda did some work chatting, too. My favorite part was talking up the two hott guys who we saw while out back filling up our wine glasses. They must have already filled up their glasses a few times because the one, NotHandy totally worked the body language angle by putting his hand on the small of my back numerous times. It was probably a good thing that I was driving and not drinking more because it was so a move that was an invitation for me to respond with *eyes* and my own body language move of putting my hand on his forearm while talking. Not that my lack of drinking stopped me from working my charm in smaller amounts. Had we stayed longer and it not been something work related for NotMiranda, we totally could have worked that one over.
Still got it!
Still got it!
Friday, June 15, 2007
Baked
Last night, NotCurly and I went to a party. Our old bakery manager, NotBaker, was having a get together for all of the people that work there and when I visited the other day, he enthusiastically invited me.
Might I mention that NotBaker is fucking hot. Our mutual attraction of each other is apparent, though we've never actually said anything about it to each other. When we talk, it's a LOT of eye sex.
On Wednesday I called him at work to get his address and his voice couldn't hide his enthusiasm.
His final words before going back to his job? "I'm really looking forward to seeing you."
Booyah.
I immediately mapquested his address to find that I live literally 5 minutes away from him. FIVE minutes. As NotMiranda says, walking distance.
We show up to the party late, hoping that most are already drunk so we can start making fun of them. Our wish came true. The place was packed with people I had grown to know as either too nice, too annoying, or too lazy. It was almost too much to handle.
NotBaker ran up to greet us and I made my first move. I handed him a plate of my specialty cupcakes. Score one, NotCharlotte.
The night was fun. NotCurly and I did our traditional making fun of people and every so often (more often than not), NotBaker joined our exclusive group and regaled us with stories about people from work, as well as uber personal stories about himself. It was tmi, in a good way. At one point he invited us to see his room and of course we jumped at the chance to get a glimpse of star wars posters, an unmade bed, and dirty laundry. We go upstairs and... are completely shocked at not only the gigantic size of his bedroom, but of the pure organization and cleanliness of not only his room but his bathroom. Everything is in it's place, there isn't a poster in sight, just nicely framed pictures, a large stereo, and several family pictures. Next to his bed was a bookshelf filled with the various books that got him through culinary school.
Two seconds after we enter his room, however, two drunk girls come screaming in, yelling at him for not inviting them up. They both jump on his bed and immediately start extolling the virtues of his sheets. He is in the bathroom, so NotCurly and I decide to try out his bed ourselves.
I have to tell you, the second I slid my hand in between the sheets, I knew that I wanted to get him in them.
Finally, I have found a guy to be interested in that has something going for him. He's got his shit together.
Last night I didn't get really drunk. I didn't hit on NotBaker mercilessly. I did not make a fool out of myself by spilling drinks. I was charming, adorable, and slightly flirty. I made sure he knew I was interested and I think he felt the same.
At this point it's all speculation, but if this is going to work, it needs to happen slowly. Right before we departed for the evening, he made sure to get my number and a nice tight hug. He walked us to the door and goes "Do you guys really have to leave? I hate everyone else here."
I went to sleep after drunk texting random people. I woke up and in the middle of my morning internet surfing, received a text from NotBaker:
"Your cupcakes are awesome."
Might I mention that NotBaker is fucking hot. Our mutual attraction of each other is apparent, though we've never actually said anything about it to each other. When we talk, it's a LOT of eye sex.
On Wednesday I called him at work to get his address and his voice couldn't hide his enthusiasm.
His final words before going back to his job? "I'm really looking forward to seeing you."
Booyah.
I immediately mapquested his address to find that I live literally 5 minutes away from him. FIVE minutes. As NotMiranda says, walking distance.
We show up to the party late, hoping that most are already drunk so we can start making fun of them. Our wish came true. The place was packed with people I had grown to know as either too nice, too annoying, or too lazy. It was almost too much to handle.
NotBaker ran up to greet us and I made my first move. I handed him a plate of my specialty cupcakes. Score one, NotCharlotte.
The night was fun. NotCurly and I did our traditional making fun of people and every so often (more often than not), NotBaker joined our exclusive group and regaled us with stories about people from work, as well as uber personal stories about himself. It was tmi, in a good way. At one point he invited us to see his room and of course we jumped at the chance to get a glimpse of star wars posters, an unmade bed, and dirty laundry. We go upstairs and... are completely shocked at not only the gigantic size of his bedroom, but of the pure organization and cleanliness of not only his room but his bathroom. Everything is in it's place, there isn't a poster in sight, just nicely framed pictures, a large stereo, and several family pictures. Next to his bed was a bookshelf filled with the various books that got him through culinary school.
Two seconds after we enter his room, however, two drunk girls come screaming in, yelling at him for not inviting them up. They both jump on his bed and immediately start extolling the virtues of his sheets. He is in the bathroom, so NotCurly and I decide to try out his bed ourselves.
I have to tell you, the second I slid my hand in between the sheets, I knew that I wanted to get him in them.
Finally, I have found a guy to be interested in that has something going for him. He's got his shit together.
Last night I didn't get really drunk. I didn't hit on NotBaker mercilessly. I did not make a fool out of myself by spilling drinks. I was charming, adorable, and slightly flirty. I made sure he knew I was interested and I think he felt the same.
At this point it's all speculation, but if this is going to work, it needs to happen slowly. Right before we departed for the evening, he made sure to get my number and a nice tight hug. He walked us to the door and goes "Do you guys really have to leave? I hate everyone else here."
I went to sleep after drunk texting random people. I woke up and in the middle of my morning internet surfing, received a text from NotBaker:
"Your cupcakes are awesome."
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Cheeseburger In Paradise
I was in NotCheers again today. My sister and I met up for lunch and, of course, chose one of our favorite places to dine. About halfway through our meal we heard the familiar sound of clapping as about four waiters and waitresses came to a table near ours to sing Happy Birthday to a fellow patron. And who was in this small, intimate group of singers that was extremely close to our table? Oh yes, the waiter from the other night.
My sister and I both immediately turned out faces the other way and tried to hold back our laughter. Who would have thought we would ever see him during the day shift?! And I was so not ready for it, either. It was just an off moment and not one where I wanted to get my flirt on. So, we hid our faces and then made sure to get out of there before he could see and recognize us. I promise to not hide next time:)
My sister and I both immediately turned out faces the other way and tried to hold back our laughter. Who would have thought we would ever see him during the day shift?! And I was so not ready for it, either. It was just an off moment and not one where I wanted to get my flirt on. So, we hid our faces and then made sure to get out of there before he could see and recognize us. I promise to not hide next time:)
Monday, June 11, 2007
Wait!
Apparently I now have a thing for waiters. Last night a few of us went to a restaurant we frequent and I sort of couldn't shut up about our waiter. We see him there all the time and while he's kinda goofy and, I think, young, I still wanted to go makeout with him in a corner. And then I realized that I have a mini-crush on another one of the guys who works there. So I need to watch my flirting there a little bit because I don't want to become "that girl."
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
A Romantic At Heart (And Hand)
So I realize that I'm either a prudeish old woman or misplaced from the 1930's, but handholding is maybe one of my favorite things to do. Despite my recent kissing drought, I have a list a mile long of guys I've kissed, but my list of guys I've held hands with? Noticebly shorter. Not that I'm surprised really, because never in my nights out have I made eyes with some hott guy only to go for his hand when the moment was right. Holding someone's hand is a different kind of intimacy from sucking face and generally not the result of too many jack and cokes. I am still completely in love with it and even more than kisses, I tend to remember hands making connections and fitting so well together.
*sigh*
*sigh*
Sunday, June 03, 2007
Mistress
Last evening I attended one of the two weddings I've been invited to this summer. I made sure to look extra hot and for the first time in a long while, I felt 100% put together and ready to attract a potential mate.
I ended up taking one of my best friends, NotCurly, along with me. I figured she'd be a good wingman and besides, we always have a great time together. This time was no exception. The wedding was in Arlington, at a small church near Glebe Road. It was beautiful and everyone looked happy and gorgeous.
We then traveled to Springfield for the reception. NotCurly and I were some of the first to arrive, so we got a good seat at our table, backs to the wall. Perfect place to sit and be judgmental. Another bonus, it was 50 feet from the open bar.
Open.
Bar.
Yes. We were already on our second cranberry & vodka before everyone else sat at our table. On my right was my boo, on my left... a tall goateed gentleman. Within 5 minutes of talking, I discovered he was dating one of the bridesmaids, but somehow that didn't stop the both of us from flirting up a storm.
I knew that it would be a good night when ten minutes into our conversation, he says the following:
"wow, my drink isn't as strong as yours. I probably just didn't show enough cleavage."
It's like the bride and groom knew just who to sit us by. Over the course of the evening, NotCurly had 10 drinks, while I with my modest 7 tried my best to curb the craving for 3 more. Halfway through dinner, we had talked the guy into getting our drinks for us and at a certain point we were double parking, rum & coke on one side, our cranberry on the other.
Soon though, the flirting was over. The bridal party dispersed and for the first time in the evening, my flirtmate decided to go say hi to his girlfriend. She walked up to the table and immediately NotCurly goes "well, no WONDER he's been flirting with you, you've only got one chin!"
I'd tell you the rest of the comments my dear friend enlightened me with, but if that one quote is any indication, I think it's best I keep them to myself.
He and his girlfriend were talking to each other at the other side of the table to an older lady I had been friendly towards near the beginning (pre drink part) of the evening and I soon realized that his girlfriend's mother had been sitting across from me the entire time. As well as her sister.
No one had told me, and I'm sure that she heard everything that came out of our mouths to each other, as well as the steadfast glances McBoyfriend made towards my chest.
I realized last evening how much I love to shamelessly flirt and how I'm not sure if I'm ready to give up my single status because it's so fun. Besides, if I had been his girlfriend, I would NOT have been happy to look over and see my boyfriend flirting with the prettiest girl in the room. (;-))
I ended up taking one of my best friends, NotCurly, along with me. I figured she'd be a good wingman and besides, we always have a great time together. This time was no exception. The wedding was in Arlington, at a small church near Glebe Road. It was beautiful and everyone looked happy and gorgeous.
We then traveled to Springfield for the reception. NotCurly and I were some of the first to arrive, so we got a good seat at our table, backs to the wall. Perfect place to sit and be judgmental. Another bonus, it was 50 feet from the open bar.
Open.
Bar.
Yes. We were already on our second cranberry & vodka before everyone else sat at our table. On my right was my boo, on my left... a tall goateed gentleman. Within 5 minutes of talking, I discovered he was dating one of the bridesmaids, but somehow that didn't stop the both of us from flirting up a storm.
I knew that it would be a good night when ten minutes into our conversation, he says the following:
"wow, my drink isn't as strong as yours. I probably just didn't show enough cleavage."
It's like the bride and groom knew just who to sit us by. Over the course of the evening, NotCurly had 10 drinks, while I with my modest 7 tried my best to curb the craving for 3 more. Halfway through dinner, we had talked the guy into getting our drinks for us and at a certain point we were double parking, rum & coke on one side, our cranberry on the other.
Soon though, the flirting was over. The bridal party dispersed and for the first time in the evening, my flirtmate decided to go say hi to his girlfriend. She walked up to the table and immediately NotCurly goes "well, no WONDER he's been flirting with you, you've only got one chin!"
I'd tell you the rest of the comments my dear friend enlightened me with, but if that one quote is any indication, I think it's best I keep them to myself.
He and his girlfriend were talking to each other at the other side of the table to an older lady I had been friendly towards near the beginning (pre drink part) of the evening and I soon realized that his girlfriend's mother had been sitting across from me the entire time. As well as her sister.
No one had told me, and I'm sure that she heard everything that came out of our mouths to each other, as well as the steadfast glances McBoyfriend made towards my chest.
I realized last evening how much I love to shamelessly flirt and how I'm not sure if I'm ready to give up my single status because it's so fun. Besides, if I had been his girlfriend, I would NOT have been happy to look over and see my boyfriend flirting with the prettiest girl in the room. (;-))
Matchmaker, Matchmaker!
I'm being devious. Maybe work has gotten boring lately, but I've become a matchmaker of sorts. Although, to be honest, I don't have everyone's best interests at heart. If you will recall, we hung out with NotVeryMature a few weeks ago as she had recently begun at our job. Now, to explain a little bit, she has quite the crush on NotGraceful and she's, well, um, quite outspoken about it. To each their own, eh?
Enter in NotDarling;) He is not outspoken about anything. These two people do not match up in any way, shape, or form...yet I have become the devious matchmaker as I have been encouraging NotVM to flirt with him. Muhaha!
Now, don't judge me just yet because my plans help everyone:
-NotDarling gets flirted with, which will help to fine tune his ability to read flirting in other situations.
-NotGraceful gets left alone. This also helps us because we have to hear about the crush from her often.
-NotCarrie gets some entertainment.
And maybe, just maybe, something comes about from her flirting with him. She did say he was hott...
I'll let you know if anything happens!
Enter in NotDarling;) He is not outspoken about anything. These two people do not match up in any way, shape, or form...yet I have become the devious matchmaker as I have been encouraging NotVM to flirt with him. Muhaha!
Now, don't judge me just yet because my plans help everyone:
-NotDarling gets flirted with, which will help to fine tune his ability to read flirting in other situations.
-NotGraceful gets left alone. This also helps us because we have to hear about the crush from her often.
-NotCarrie gets some entertainment.
And maybe, just maybe, something comes about from her flirting with him. She did say he was hott...
I'll let you know if anything happens!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)