Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Subject Of Gossip? ME?!

On Monday, a friend at work, and one who is notorious for being up on and spreading the gossip, said to me, "So I heard NotGraceful gave you a ride home Saturday night!"

Ok, what? I am never the subject of gossip there either because people think (assume? know?) I'm boring or because for the longest time most people thought I was dating NotDarling. I was taken aback for a split second wondering how she had heard that and why anyone cared. Part of me wanted to insinuate a lot in my reply and either wink as I answered her in the negative or fake blush so she'd think the worst.

Instead I said, "Oh no, not a ride home." and went on with my work. While being the subject of gossip is slightly flattering, I think I'd rather just go on with everyone there thinking knowing that I'm just really boring.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Accidental Drunk

Same night, different story.

I know that when people say, "I didn't mean to get that drunk" eye rolling is usually involved and no one believes the speaker, but I promise you, I did not mean to get that drunk on Saturday night! I guess I hadn't eaten enough because one beer in and I was feeling it. So a few more later and I was good to go.

And to the dance floor I went when our group decided to migrate back inside to the bar area. Now, I like to dance, but I usually don't proposition random guys to join me on the dance floor. Saturday, though, I went up to a group of about seven guys and yelled over the music, "Why are you just standing here! There are women on the dance floor! Go dance!" I think they thought I was crazy, but it was their loss and I grabbed some random guy who was walking by and danced with him for one song.

At this point in the evening NotCharlotte and I had a bit of a flashback to my birthday in NYC when we met guys from the UK who later invited us back to their place. All the dancing had me pretty drunk so NotCharlotte can fill in any of these details if she wants, but it was fun talking to them even if I had to say "What?" after everything they said. I also remember yelling that I love Andy Murray and that Scotland is the best place there is. But I don't go home with strangers because when random guys (even if they do have hott accents) invite random girls over, they usually want one thing, and I am a classy lady... Okay, I'm not always a classy lady, but having el sexo with strangers isn't what I do. Safety first, right?

Anyway, after exchanging numbers with NotIrish and his buddies, it was last call and time to go. I had actually given NotGraceful a ride* to the bar, but I was a horrible, irresponsible DD so he had to give me a ride back to his house so I could sober up. We ended up having el sexo all night, which was pretty hott. I kid. I'm a kidder. There was no el sexo, but isn't that how you'd like the story to end?

*oooh, scandal!

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Enough is Enough

I've had it with NotGraceful. You guys all know my problems in the past with him.
Last night, NotBigMouth invited us all out to a bar (one that's slowly becoming my favorite) and everything was fine and dandy until he showed up.
I decided to ignore him the entire time which, in hindsight, isn't the most mature way of handling things, however the only words I wished to exchange with him were ones that weren't too kind. Also, I didn't want everyone and their mother knowing my business.
It worked though, I didn't talk to him once over the course of the evening. That didn't stop him, however, from making condescending remarks towards me the entire night.
I sat there and realized that even if my friends wanted to hang out with him, I don't. I don't need that negativity in my life. He is the complete opposite of anyone I would want to hang out with, ever. He's pretentious about music, which is all he wants to talk about. He is constantly moody and when he tries to make funny comments, they fail. The only thing he's good at is getting drunk and acting like an idiot. Now that's funny.
I know this probably makes me a hypocrite, seeing as how I used to hook up with him, but I think that was before I knew better and had thought long and hard about this fucked up situation. It also helped to talk it through with a few people that weren't directly involved in this whole thing.
If people still want to hang out with him, then maybe they're not the kind of people that I should be hanging out with. From here on out, if he's going to be at a social event, I'm going to think long and hard before I go as well. I used to be of the mindset that I should have every right to go, even if the bastard's there, but now I just can't handle it. I've got too many good things going on in my life right now to have my good mood ruined by an unmotivated, uneducated, lazy asshole.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

The Early Bird...

Note to self: Go to the NotCheers bar around 5pm on a Thursday evening, but not just to pick up your to go order. Getting hit on by cute men while you're simply paying for the opportunity to eat your salad in front of the tv during Top Chef is quite well worth it. Oh, and next time take them up on that offer for a drink. Best 3 bucks they'd ever spend ;-)

(Note to readers: I am not crazy, I didn't take them up on the offer because I had already made plans to sit in front of the tv with someone else... and believe me, it wasn't NotBaker.)

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

NotSamantha's not in right now, please leave your name, number and a brief message after the tone...

I've been unavailable as of late. On every front. Hell, I've even avoided the blog for what feels like forever.

I've been hiding out in my room.

Not going out, and the dating thing...dropped like a bad pickup line. Why? No clue. I just don't have the motivation to do much of anything. Okay, I take that back. I do have the motivation to do a few things, but not much. However, one of the problems with avoiding just about everyone is that I can't avoid myself.

And let me tell you this, being with myself is not all fun and games. Because the problem with spending time with myself, is that I'm also spending time with my mind, and as we all know, an idle mind is like idle hands, only worse. Which is how I came to jump onto the subject of marriage and me.

I've begun to realize that issues or not, I'm not exactly pleased with myself as a person, and I'm one of those, can't love anyone until I love me first people. Thus, dating and all variations thereof, had been moved to the back burner. Tonight, however, offered what I think was a step in the right direction.

I had dinner with one of my favorite couples, NotDippy and NotANinja where I kept reiterating this one statement:

"I'm only doing this marriage thing once."

Which is cause for even more intense introspection. What I mean is that in this day and age of instant gratification, is it possible to find that one person, so that you can only do the 'marriage thing' once?

I'm picky. And I've never hidden that fact, I have a list and standards that is a mile long, but outside of all that I think that in a relationship, you need to be able to work things out, no matter what the list says. The marriage statistics of today prove that either people aren't working it out, or an entire generation of Generation Xers have looked at the Baby Boomers and turned collective noses up at the very idea of staying married or rather staying married to one person for longer than 5 years. And don't give me that whole "times were different" spiel. I'm not denying that, but I am arguing that treating marriage like a game of Truth or Dare isn't necessarily ideal either. And then I look deeper within and try to figure out why I'm so keyed into marriage right now. I don't have a biological clock (and if I do, I've probably thrown it out of whack after my post on children), I'm not actively looking for a partner and I've got facts staring me in the face, that tell me that marriage isn't a sure thing after all.

And yet, I want to do it anyway.

So, talking with NotDippy and NotaNinja was helpful in discovering that yes things go screwy, yes, you sometimes want to walk away, and yes things (issues, facial ticks, pet peeves) can overwhelm, but they're not absolutes and can be worked out for the better of both people in the relationship. Key word here being 'work.' So while I work on me in the hopes of finding my special someone I wish everyone else well in their own search.

So maybe introspection is a good thing. Soul searching for a soul mate...withdrawal into the self to draw them to you...?

Monday, June 18, 2007

Wine Parties

My weekend was quiet, which was probably just what I needed. After an early work shift on Saturday, I headed with NotMiranda into the city to attend a party being thrown by her old boss. We showed up with a bottle of wine which turned out to be what about 80% of the crowd was drinking. Lately I've been a total beer girl so I pretty much just sipped on my glass while we mingled and chatted. We did the obligatory small talk with a few people and I listened in while NotMiranda did some work chatting, too. My favorite part was talking up the two hott guys who we saw while out back filling up our wine glasses. They must have already filled up their glasses a few times because the one, NotHandy totally worked the body language angle by putting his hand on the small of my back numerous times. It was probably a good thing that I was driving and not drinking more because it was so a move that was an invitation for me to respond with *eyes* and my own body language move of putting my hand on his forearm while talking. Not that my lack of drinking stopped me from working my charm in smaller amounts. Had we stayed longer and it not been something work related for NotMiranda, we totally could have worked that one over.

Still got it!

Friday, June 15, 2007


Last night, NotCurly and I went to a party. Our old bakery manager, NotBaker, was having a get together for all of the people that work there and when I visited the other day, he enthusiastically invited me.
Might I mention that NotBaker is fucking hot. Our mutual attraction of each other is apparent, though we've never actually said anything about it to each other. When we talk, it's a LOT of eye sex.
On Wednesday I called him at work to get his address and his voice couldn't hide his enthusiasm.
His final words before going back to his job? "I'm really looking forward to seeing you."

I immediately mapquested his address to find that I live literally 5 minutes away from him. FIVE minutes. As NotMiranda says, walking distance.

We show up to the party late, hoping that most are already drunk so we can start making fun of them. Our wish came true. The place was packed with people I had grown to know as either too nice, too annoying, or too lazy. It was almost too much to handle.
NotBaker ran up to greet us and I made my first move. I handed him a plate of my specialty cupcakes. Score one, NotCharlotte.

The night was fun. NotCurly and I did our traditional making fun of people and every so often (more often than not), NotBaker joined our exclusive group and regaled us with stories about people from work, as well as uber personal stories about himself. It was tmi, in a good way. At one point he invited us to see his room and of course we jumped at the chance to get a glimpse of star wars posters, an unmade bed, and dirty laundry. We go upstairs and... are completely shocked at not only the gigantic size of his bedroom, but of the pure organization and cleanliness of not only his room but his bathroom. Everything is in it's place, there isn't a poster in sight, just nicely framed pictures, a large stereo, and several family pictures. Next to his bed was a bookshelf filled with the various books that got him through culinary school.
Two seconds after we enter his room, however, two drunk girls come screaming in, yelling at him for not inviting them up. They both jump on his bed and immediately start extolling the virtues of his sheets. He is in the bathroom, so NotCurly and I decide to try out his bed ourselves.
I have to tell you, the second I slid my hand in between the sheets, I knew that I wanted to get him in them.
Finally, I have found a guy to be interested in that has something going for him. He's got his shit together.

Last night I didn't get really drunk. I didn't hit on NotBaker mercilessly. I did not make a fool out of myself by spilling drinks. I was charming, adorable, and slightly flirty. I made sure he knew I was interested and I think he felt the same.
At this point it's all speculation, but if this is going to work, it needs to happen slowly. Right before we departed for the evening, he made sure to get my number and a nice tight hug. He walked us to the door and goes "Do you guys really have to leave? I hate everyone else here."

I went to sleep after drunk texting random people. I woke up and in the middle of my morning internet surfing, received a text from NotBaker:
"Your cupcakes are awesome."

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Cheeseburger In Paradise

I was in NotCheers again today. My sister and I met up for lunch and, of course, chose one of our favorite places to dine. About halfway through our meal we heard the familiar sound of clapping as about four waiters and waitresses came to a table near ours to sing Happy Birthday to a fellow patron. And who was in this small, intimate group of singers that was extremely close to our table? Oh yes, the waiter from the other night.

My sister and I both immediately turned out faces the other way and tried to hold back our laughter. Who would have thought we would ever see him during the day shift?! And I was so not ready for it, either. It was just an off moment and not one where I wanted to get my flirt on. So, we hid our faces and then made sure to get out of there before he could see and recognize us. I promise to not hide next time:)

Monday, June 11, 2007


Apparently I now have a thing for waiters. Last night a few of us went to a restaurant we frequent and I sort of couldn't shut up about our waiter. We see him there all the time and while he's kinda goofy and, I think, young, I still wanted to go makeout with him in a corner. And then I realized that I have a mini-crush on another one of the guys who works there. So I need to watch my flirting there a little bit because I don't want to become "that girl."

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

A Romantic At Heart (And Hand)

So I realize that I'm either a prudeish old woman or misplaced from the 1930's, but handholding is maybe one of my favorite things to do. Despite my recent kissing drought, I have a list a mile long of guys I've kissed, but my list of guys I've held hands with? Noticebly shorter. Not that I'm surprised really, because never in my nights out have I made eyes with some hott guy only to go for his hand when the moment was right. Holding someone's hand is a different kind of intimacy from sucking face and generally not the result of too many jack and cokes. I am still completely in love with it and even more than kisses, I tend to remember hands making connections and fitting so well together.


Sunday, June 03, 2007


Last evening I attended one of the two weddings I've been invited to this summer. I made sure to look extra hot and for the first time in a long while, I felt 100% put together and ready to attract a potential mate.

I ended up taking one of my best friends, NotCurly, along with me. I figured she'd be a good wingman and besides, we always have a great time together. This time was no exception. The wedding was in Arlington, at a small church near Glebe Road. It was beautiful and everyone looked happy and gorgeous.
We then traveled to Springfield for the reception. NotCurly and I were some of the first to arrive, so we got a good seat at our table, backs to the wall. Perfect place to sit and be judgmental. Another bonus, it was 50 feet from the open bar.
Yes. We were already on our second cranberry & vodka before everyone else sat at our table. On my right was my boo, on my left... a tall goateed gentleman. Within 5 minutes of talking, I discovered he was dating one of the bridesmaids, but somehow that didn't stop the both of us from flirting up a storm.
I knew that it would be a good night when ten minutes into our conversation, he says the following:
"wow, my drink isn't as strong as yours. I probably just didn't show enough cleavage."

It's like the bride and groom knew just who to sit us by. Over the course of the evening, NotCurly had 10 drinks, while I with my modest 7 tried my best to curb the craving for 3 more. Halfway through dinner, we had talked the guy into getting our drinks for us and at a certain point we were double parking, rum & coke on one side, our cranberry on the other.

Soon though, the flirting was over. The bridal party dispersed and for the first time in the evening, my flirtmate decided to go say hi to his girlfriend. She walked up to the table and immediately NotCurly goes "well, no WONDER he's been flirting with you, you've only got one chin!"
I'd tell you the rest of the comments my dear friend enlightened me with, but if that one quote is any indication, I think it's best I keep them to myself.
He and his girlfriend were talking to each other at the other side of the table to an older lady I had been friendly towards near the beginning (pre drink part) of the evening and I soon realized that his girlfriend's mother had been sitting across from me the entire time. As well as her sister.
No one had told me, and I'm sure that she heard everything that came out of our mouths to each other, as well as the steadfast glances McBoyfriend made towards my chest.

I realized last evening how much I love to shamelessly flirt and how I'm not sure if I'm ready to give up my single status because it's so fun. Besides, if I had been his girlfriend, I would NOT have been happy to look over and see my boyfriend flirting with the prettiest girl in the room. (;-))

Matchmaker, Matchmaker!

I'm being devious. Maybe work has gotten boring lately, but I've become a matchmaker of sorts. Although, to be honest, I don't have everyone's best interests at heart. If you will recall, we hung out with NotVeryMature a few weeks ago as she had recently begun at our job. Now, to explain a little bit, she has quite the crush on NotGraceful and she's, well, um, quite outspoken about it. To each their own, eh?

Enter in NotDarling;) He is not outspoken about anything. These two people do not match up in any way, shape, or form...yet I have become the devious matchmaker as I have been encouraging NotVM to flirt with him. Muhaha!

Now, don't judge me just yet because my plans help everyone:

-NotDarling gets flirted with, which will help to fine tune his ability to read flirting in other situations.
-NotGraceful gets left alone. This also helps us because we have to hear about the crush from her often.
-NotCarrie gets some entertainment.

And maybe, just maybe, something comes about from her flirting with him. She did say he was hott...

I'll let you know if anything happens!