At about four weeks in, I'm not sure what's going on, but I know it's a lot different from my past relationships. And I can actually call it that without gagging or breaking out into a rash, go figure. I've decided to enlist the help of several of my row dogs. NotASong, NotMiranda and NotCharlotte have all sounded in about what they think about the situation. Because things had smoothed out, become twisted and then smoothed out again. I've been advised to be willing to risk something to get something back, make sure that we take things slowly and to stop thinking NotFreak will live down to my expectations. All of which is welcome and hardy advice and I've been applying it as much as I can.
And then there's the part that I'm usually in more control of but seem to be failing in that regard as well. The sex. In a word its fantastic, in two words its absolutely fabulous. And so I'm at risk of being dickmatized…
*gives self mental slap*
What is being dickmatized you ask…I point you to the Urban dictionary, which defines it as such:
When a girl can not concentrate on anything else because she is distracted with the DICK of her latest piece of ass. Her work is jeopardized, she's a sell out to her girlfriends, she picks up his shit including his kids or whatever. She will do whatever it takes for the DICK. Even if the dick isn't all that great, she doesn't know the difference because she is dickmatized.
Though I will point out that I have yet to pick up his kids…and have no intention of doing so. Because we all know about my rational fear of children. Nor will I be selling out on my girls, because as always hoes before bros. However, I do wonder what I'm willing to do for this dick…I'm going to have to think about that and get back to you…
Now, here's the last bit. There's something there. Feelings and stuff. And fuck if I know what to do with it.