Thursday, August 30, 2007

Stars Are Blind

Sometimes my "Daily Romantic Horoscope For Singles" email can really piss me off. Astrology is for fun, right? I just like to read them and be completely girly and get excited about the possibilities. Tonight, though, not only did it come at the most inopportune time, but it's message sucked:

You're a real free spirit now, full of out-there ideas and electric energy. You're likely loving life and your independent status, if the stars have their say -- but, of course, this makes you ever more alluring, too.

I guess it does explain why I had a creepy stalker at work tonight and more than one guy gave me a double take, but is it telling me what I really want to hear? No, it sure isn't.

And I know what your first question will be: What does she really want to hear?? Well, to give you a hint...I really would be okay with cancelling my subscription to the Daily Romantic Horoscope for Singles...

Friday, August 24, 2007

Feel It All

I'm still trying to get over the fact that NotHarry has liked me for three years. I don't ever remember having a fondness for someone so long... well except for Matt Damon. Recently, we've been inseperable. This week has been really trying for me both mentally and physically, and he has been my rock.
I spent most of the weekend at the vet with my ailing dog and soon NotHarry would stop asking if I wanted him to be there and just take off work early and show up at my house 30 minutes before the appointment.
He was there when the vet told us the bad news and he was also there to talk to my mom on the phone and tell her the bad news because I was too choked up.
He was there when my family made the decision to put my dog to sleep.
He was there to keep my spirits up and kept me busy for the remainder of the week when I was too upset to go to work.

It's so weird that the second I stop looking for someone, it happens. He comes out of the woodwork and all of a sudden, I'm content and pleased and everything's running so smoothly.

My parents like him too, which is a HUGE thing. Usually, my dad just makes nicknames up for all of my guy friends and makes fun of them mercilessly. Instead, at dinner they talk about Germany and animals and history and dad tells me that we need to "fatten him up" and that "he seems to really fit in with you." My mom already wants him to meet our family in Wisconsin. It's so surreal.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

A Picture Speaks A Thousand Words

I randomly saw a picture last night of this guy I used to be completely enamored with and even made out with on many, many occasions. Le me tell you, he is looking goooood! So good in fact, that I initiated some contact and would absolutely meet up with him even though it has been years now since we've hung out.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Are You Dating?

I have had no fewer than three people ask me in the past few days if I am dating NotGraceful. What, a guy and girl can't just be friends these days? I guess not since our amount of time spent together has increased and we've even been seen out together on the town. So scandalous!

But the thing is, if we were dating, would I answer in the affirmative to the inquisitors? Is it any of their business? Say we were dating. It would be really new right now, right? I don't think I would want everyone all up in our business. I don't want to start the gossip trains a goin'. (And believe me, they are out there. Just waiting for news.) Yeah, I'd be excited and happy, but renting out a billboard to declare the news is so not something I would do.

And that's the other thing. I loathe putting labels on things like this. I vomited every single time in high school when two people would be described as "talking." What does that even mean? It is ridiculous. And so what is the next step, dating? But at what point do two people become boyfriend/girlfriend? After how many dates are two people exclusive? It all just becomes increasingly confusing and obnoxious, yet it's annoyingly necessary. At a certain point, and especially if el sexo is involved, I want to know where we stand, but I seriously dread the "What are we?" conversation.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007


"How long have you liked me?"
"For a long, long time."
"How long?"
"A long time."
"I didn't know you liked me until you 'put the moves' on me."
"You mean when I asked you for coffee?"
"That was a long time ago! Like February! You've liked me since February?"
"I've liked you a lot longer than that."
"How long?"
"I liked you when I first met you, three years ago. You were always so different. So funny and entertaining. I would look forward to our parties because it meant that I would get to see you."
"Really? Wow, I never knew."
"Well, it's not like I could have done anything about it... I mean, I WAS married."

I have found myself in the most unconventionally awesome relationship, ever. Don't worry, he's been divorced from his wife since September. We just started dating about 3 weeks ago. That conversation above took place last night. I love taking things slow... and goodness knows he does too.

There's plenty more to this story, but I'm tired and kind of want to make my posts worth it to you guys :-)

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Trying To Tell Me Something?

I was just digging around in the bottom of my bag for a pen and what do I find? A CONDOM! What the hell? (And no, not used. Do you think I would be blogging about a used condom in my bag? If that had happened I would have 1) Wondered if I had been drugged and 2) Shower at the thought of some random jizz being in my bag.)

So from where did the condom come? Is it a sign from God to have el sexo? NotMiranda said she didn't put it in there so I'm going to ask NotGraceful, although that would be so weird if he had. Wouldn't it have been more appropriate to actually have it when needed?

Mystery condom, mystery condom, from where did you come?

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Parking in the rear...

I love that men magazines try to be about super manly things, but in the end still sound (look and feel) like the ladies mags.

However, there was one article that I was reading in Details this month, that was something I would never expect to find in a woman's mag. They were talking about anal sex.

*listens a feet scramble to leave blog*

Surprisingly, its not something I've thought about having myself. I've read about it plenty, but honestly never seriously given thought about doing it. But now that I've read this article and when I rethink what I have read about it, I've begun to wonder if it would be worth it.

In small anecdotes the article mentions how both men and women are turned on by the activity, but that for some the psychological issues for one of the guys in the article proved to be too much and he discontinued the activity, despite the fact that his girlfriend enjoyed it more than vaginal sex.

This is where I saw the breakdown for how men think about sex and how women seem to think about sex (at least with the information given in the article). The few guys mentioned were more concerned with the body's non-sexual reaction than the women and for them it seemed to be more about reclaiming dominance. But I'm wondering if the article explored everything (and not that I expected it to do so), but it would have nice if it would have gone into more detail than the 2 pages (with a glaringly obvious picture taking up 3/4 of one page) allowed.

Hmmm...maybe the next encounter I have will be rear parking only. For scientific (cough sexual cough) reasons only, of course.

Sunday, August 05, 2007


We're not talking high-speed internet here, people. Say it with me: Dick Sucking Lips. Crude, yes, but apparently I have them as was told to me by two guy friends whom I have known forever*. I feel like I've won a superlative or something.

Thank you, thank you! I couldn't have done it without really good genes and some nice lipgloss!

But what does one do with such a feature? Oh wait, that! Not tonight, though. Tonight was more about stopping things before they went too far. I think it was a good thing there wasn't a drop of alcohol in sight.

*And have never bing bonged. I've only kissed these two guys. Nothing more.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Live free...

Earlier today I told NotMiranda that I had a funny feeling in my gut about my current guy situation. I thought it was because I thought it was going to turn into just a hook up thing. I was also afraid that it was going to go nowhere and the friendship I had with the person in mind would be lost.

After talking with this specific person (notname TBD), I realized that the funny feeling in my gut was because I think it's turning into something more complex than I'm prepared to handle.

It all started with the butterflies I felt in my stomach when he kissed me last night.

More later, I need time to think.

Blast From The Past

I am 90% sure I saw NotRoger in the truck next to me the other night as I returned from an out-of-town trip. Unfortunately, the moment was fleeting and I hesitated when given the chance to take the same road he was. It seemed a bit too stalkerish to change my route in order to confirm who I had seen, but I instantly regretted it since the change in direction was still an option for my way home. I think what stopped me was the fact that my car is not exactly incognito and I also didn't know what I would say or do if I did see him get out somewhere. "Hey, I followed you! How have you been!?" Yeah, no.

Very interesting, though.