Tuesday, June 28, 2005

I happened to glance at a book entitled something to the effect of, "Etiquette For Sassy Women" the other day and the page that caught my attention said something like the following:

After a certain age, a woman must evaluate her relationship and decide if it has a future. If not, end it.

Now, I am grossly paraphrasing as I have forgotten specifics because as soon as I read the statement my mind started running a million different ways. First, wondering who would have the audacity to say such a thing and quickly wondering who the genuis was who wrote it. I have yet to formulate my opinion on the matter but I can't help but wonder:

Is this true? And at what age can a relationship not be casual?

As a 25 year old, should I be searching for Mr. Right or is it still appropriate, or dare I say smart, to aim for a relationship based on attraction and the possibility of having fun. This is easy until one is out of college. Up until then it is expected to date many guys and the few who mention marriage during this time are looked upon as lunatics in a mental insitution.

Part of me disagrees so much with the statement recited above that I can't even organize my thoughts on the matter. But part of me thinks the statement is true and I can only hope the thought doesn't taint future crushes. (25 isn't too old to have crushes, right?)

Initiative can be a 4-letter word

NotCarrie got me thinking about what would move things along in my single life (i.e., obtain boyfriend...check), and I've determined that she's right...initiative would help immensely. That and a natural ability to not make a guy who's acting interested feel like an ass. In my humble opinion, initiative is not so easily attained. In fact, for the deathly shy initiative is like mounting Everest in a wheelchair. Probably not impossible, but it would take one brave s.o.b. to attempt it. How can I get brave in that area of my life? Because, really, what have I got to lose? (Diginity comes to mind.) I can bungee off a crane, get a tattoo, fly around the world by myself, eat bugs, speak in front of hundreds of people, and I can't smile and make eyes at a boy? Hmmm. New addition to the "check" list...take some initiative with the boys ; )

The Dance Of (Not) Love

I'm either dancing to Paula Abdul, "Two steps forward, One step back" or it's a middle school dance with boys on one side and girls on the other. At the moment the dance seems to be over and all that is left is ripped crepe paper and warm punch.

There was never any real dancing.

But even when I'm sure that I'm only convincing myself that there is even a dance to attend, something little happens to give me hope once again. It's so frustrating. Unfortunately, high school dances weren't much better. And just when I was about to make the same statement about college dances I was reminded of Grad Ball. I had a hot date who held my mini bottle of alcohol and was a good dancer and I took the initiative to dance with a few other guy friends.

INITIATIVE..Maybe it should be the word of the day. Another good word for the day would be THEME as apparently I don't know what this word means because this blog entry is all over the place.


Tuesday, June 21, 2005

"I successfully avoided the boner."

I believe this was a phrase I uttered at least once on Friday night, if not more. On Friday night, I discovered that horniness (being randy, for NotCarrie) will only take me so far.

The Scene
Where: a dark bar in semi-rural Virginia
Drink: long island iced tea (at this point in the evening)
Guy: tall, dark, short dreads

I won't rehash the evening play by play, but cutting to the chase...I was hit on for the sole purpose of someone else getting some play. Now, this may generally be the case with men hitting on women in bars, but (1) it's not always the case for me and (2) there was no pretending this was some other kind of pickup or that he was interested in my mind. We're talking a hug, extra tight to feel the breasts; being grabbed from behind a little later in the evening; and sitting very close by me with an obvious boner. Don't get me wrong...he was attractive, but I discovered that (despite how horny I may be) I'm just not that kind of girl. Maybe it's just that I wasn't feeling him, but I think it's because I need a little conversation...a little creativity...or maybe I just need to be grabbed and kissed. I need something besides what amounts to a dog humping my leg. I won't go so far as to say I need to know the person, but I have needs that go beyond just a dick. I suppose I'm looking for a nice brain-dick combo with a good approach. Can I get that combo to go, and will you biggie size it? ; )

Monday, June 20, 2005

Fake Bling

I should probably stop wearing this fake "wedding ring." I keep staring at it and seeing how it looks when the light catches its fake diamondness.

I went from being okay with wanting a boyfriend to admiring my fake "wedding ring"... I need to take a few steps back to reality.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

A Passing Feeling?

Lately I've been feeling more lonely than usual, which is odd since I've always been lonely.
Before you say "it's ok, you have us" I think you know which sort of lonely I mean.

I have also decided to make this one of my priorities to fix. This coming weekend I plan on going out simply to meet guys. I think NotMiranda agreed to accompany me on this excursion, NotSamantha you are welcome to come as well. NotCarrie, I think you will be out of town but the invitation goes to you as well.
The new strategy will be: girls only, but only a few. I don't know where we should go as of yet, but perhaps not the bustling city or rural country.
Research is in order.
I'm just tired of settling for what we "have" in our social circle and it is time to branch out.
I do not want internet dating, that hasn't worked for me in the past. I want "first impression if he's cute and makes me laugh then let's talk" kind of stuff.
I think one reason we never meet anyone new when we go out is because of the big ass group we all take with us. I think guys are a bit self conscious about girls in numbers, so this will make it a bit easier.
Friday night the smaller group idea proved successful, for NotMiranda caught the attention of a potential suitor. She will probably tell you a bit more about that...
So anyway, I have a new outlook on the whole "snag a man" thing and I think this time I'll be "serious" about it.
I'm tired of being alone.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

My Boyfriend

To quote Green Day, I'm a walking contradiction. I'm a hopeless romantic who strives to avoid dating/relationship cliches. One thing that has always bothered me is the labeling of relationships. To name a few:
Talking (sends shudders down my spine, I loathe this term)
Courting (old fashioned but this is one I'd love to bring back)

These type of labels require a DTR talk or, Define The Relationship for those not acronym friendly. The DTR is something I have always tried to avoid. Not only because of the blushing that would ensue but because I have been around so many people (mostly girls) who seem like they have to name what it is they have with a guy and it just comes across as fake. It's like when people tell a story and say, "My boyfriend..." multiple times-is it really necessary to call him your boyfriend? Or when you are first getting to know someone and it's called "Talking"-Why does casual conversation with a person of the opposite sex have to be called something?

But I digress...The point of this blog is to say that I really, really, really want to say "My boyfriend" and it's kind of bothering me that I've had this change of heart. I am blaming it on my age and the more mature feeling I carry around with me now. It now longer seems so trivial (not my first choice of words) to say something like, "My boyfriend" or "We're dating."

Note: I will never, ever say "We're talking."

Checking things off the list

Dearest blog,

I apologize for neglecting you as of late. I've been so busy living life (fighting some of those inner demons) and preparing to check things off the list that I can't find time to think of something to right. I thought you might be interested to know that NotCharlotte and I are going to submit our feet (applications and photos) as potential attendees at an erotic foot party in NYC. If accepted, foot fetishists would worship our feet and give us tips. We'll be foot whores. Hahahaha! If everything goes as planned, I should also be getting a tattoo this weekend. Keep your fingers crossed for me that (1) I can deal with the pain and (2) things work out with all of the timing issues.


Monday, June 13, 2005

I Can Change

I am pretty sure i'm over NotElliot.
Just letting you guys know. We'll see how long that lasts.
More of an update after Thursday.

At A Loss Of Topics

I just sat here for at least 10 minutes trying to think of a topic to expound upon.

I was unsuccessful.

I'm distracted and can't remember the past and am keeping quiet on the present. I suppose that leaves the future but that's even more amiguous.

I'm open to suggestions of things to talk about....

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Never tear up at a preview

I feel like I've been away from this blog for awhile...at least a week, which is an extended period of time for me. I've just been at a loss for what to post. Nothing particularly exciting is going on, and I'm ok with that. Note: I did not say ecstatic...simply ok. I did manage to leave my number on a slip of paper for a cute waiter. What a sad, pathetic act of reaching out. I didn't even have the guts to hand it to him.

Current thought in my head: Maybe we'll have rolling brownouts throughout the summer.

Monday, June 06, 2005

Lay Into Me

I just had a very random thought:

I hope I'm not on anyone's list of "People Who Need To Get Laid."

You know, in that "she's a bitch, she needs to get laid", "Man she's in a bad mood, she needs to get laid"


Friday, June 03, 2005

Sex and the Semi Single girl...

Is it possible to be semi single?

You've all heard about my think with NotSkippy, well while the saga of flirt, kiss, grope, disrobe, flirt, kiss, etc., continues, I've decided I'm in need of some one on one lovin'...meaning, I've bought a toy...

I think I should get a toy chest to commemorate this event, really.

I comes with 7 different heads and everything...(now how many guys do you know that can fit that bill).

But, I digress.

Being semi single means that I'm openly dating...which seems to get NotSkippy's attention in that he asks about said dates and is happy (almost gleeful) when they're canceled or when I show up in a funk because I'm not getting what I want from the guy I'm seeing that night...

Being semi single also means that I'm flirting and doing all sorts of naughty things with NotSkippy. I'm not bothered by it, he's okay with it (in fact he initiates sometimes), and if this will convince him to come to his senses quicker than I'm happy anyway.

But here's the thing...is this healthy? I mean we've got great chemistry, wonderful closeness, all that stuff that couples have to work to find, we've got it in spades, except for one thing. We're not seeing each other exclusively. (Somewhere some single girl is gaping at this screen shouting "why", meanwhile her boyfriend is looking over her shoulder thinking "perfect relationship").

Could we walk away from each other tomorrow? Not likely.

Are we happy like this? Yeah.

Should I press for more? Probably

Will I? probably not...

Sigh...oh well at least I know with the BOB I'll be physically satisfied.


Thursday, June 02, 2005

Dazed and confused

I feel bad for not posting, but I'm just at such a weird place right now that I don't feel like I have much to say. I'm in the midst of letting my moral, horny, and pragmatic sides battle it out. The moral side is winning at the moment, but it's only hanging on to its lead by a smidge. *sigh*

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

You scored as Samantha Jones...well duh!

You scored as Samantha Jones. You're Samantha! Sexy, sleek and smooth, you never have trouble with men. You're strong personality draws people in until they never want to leave. You're a bold person who is not afraid to put themselves out in the world, and you'll do it anyway you can.

Samantha Jones


Miranda Hobbes


Carrie Bradshaw


Charlotte York


Which "Sex and the City" girl are you?
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