Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Are You Dating?

I have had no fewer than three people ask me in the past few days if I am dating NotGraceful. What, a guy and girl can't just be friends these days? I guess not since our amount of time spent together has increased and we've even been seen out together on the town. So scandalous!

But the thing is, if we were dating, would I answer in the affirmative to the inquisitors? Is it any of their business? Say we were dating. It would be really new right now, right? I don't think I would want everyone all up in our business. I don't want to start the gossip trains a goin'. (And believe me, they are out there. Just waiting for news.) Yeah, I'd be excited and happy, but renting out a billboard to declare the news is so not something I would do.

And that's the other thing. I loathe putting labels on things like this. I vomited every single time in high school when two people would be described as "talking." What does that even mean? It is ridiculous. And so what is the next step, dating? But at what point do two people become boyfriend/girlfriend? After how many dates are two people exclusive? It all just becomes increasingly confusing and obnoxious, yet it's annoyingly necessary. At a certain point, and especially if el sexo is involved, I want to know where we stand, but I seriously dread the "What are we?" conversation.

9 comments:

jo said...

i dread the whole dtr (define the relationship) thing. but that said, sometimes it's just as hard not to know where you're heading... so ARE you dating notgraceful? :P

NotCharlotte said...

I think you're probably being asked this question because it's NotGraceful that's in the situation. Given his track record, people will always be curious about him.

With NotHarry, I just sort of came out and said "We're dating" and he said "I would make the same assumption." And it wasn't a big deal. I think if you can't ask the person you're interested in if you're dating, then maybe you shouldn't be.
It did take me a week or two to come out with it though, but that's just because I'm a pansy.

NotCarrie said...

My answer is always, "We are friends."


And I don't like the label of "dating" so I wouldn't want to ask that. There are other things I would ask, though.

Noe said...

the only one who should care what ya'll are are you and notgraceful. but you know? we live in a society where everything needs labels: dating, fuck-buddy, boyfriend, engagement. just dont pay attention to what people ask you.
I agree with notcarrie. just say 'we're friends'... good luck though. not easy situation!

Milwaukee Girl said...

Eek. I hate that question. I usually advert from answering it. In my case with the new BF, he's the one that said "My girlfriend ..." and it kind of ticked me off, but then again I didn't ever want to have the akward, "What are we?" conversation.

Just have fun! That's all there is to it!

CarmenSinCity said...

I remember "talking" in high school. It wasn't "dating" and it certainly wasn't "going together" - it was either fucking and we were too nice to say that or it was the getting to know each other stage and hanging out before we got to the commitment part. So funny!

NotCarrie said...

Haha, I'm glad someone else definitely knows what it is. I also remember when my brother's friend said, "Will you go with me?" and I said, "go where?" hahah!

Tringulaating said...

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Asian Dating said...

Girl and a guy can friends? Of course, they can as long as they want it to be that way. It depends on your agreement. If you want to upgrade your relationship then it would be a nice feeling to feel.