I enjoy making lists. It's something I do on a daily basis. One reason could be that I just like seeing the way my handwriting looks on post-its, but usually it's because I have a problem with my short term memory. Just the other day I was at my bakery job, standing next to the oven, when I decided I needed some baking sheets. I walk from my station over to where the trays are, about 5 feet, get there, and completely forgot what I went over there for. Unfortunately, one of my coworkers saw what I was doing and ridiculed me relentlessly until I remembered that their first concert was MC Hammer and said "Break it down: woah woah, woahwoah woah woah" and did the running man.
This evening I received some unfortunate news about NotGraceful and realized that not only was he an asshole, but that everyone of you that commented on my previous blog was correct in your assumptions about him. I started feeling bad about myself, embarrassed even that I had been so stupid and that I still have to see him with the knowledge that we hooked up and that it was just "friends with benefits" kind of stuff.
Although I never commented back to any of you, I'd like to thank you all for your insight. It's funny that sometimes complete strangers know more about your real situation than you do.
In my bout of self-pity pouting, I started to make a list of reasons that I would be a bad girlfriend. Here is what I came up with:
1. I require sleep and food at regular intervals. If I do not get either a nap or a snack in after a long day at work, I will be pretty grumpy.
2. I have a penchant for 80s music, specifically Journey, Foreigner, Europe, and Def Leppard. I have no idea why, but "Final Countdown" is the best song to sing at loud intervals while doing just about anything, including but not limited to driving from Fairfax to Springfield, making fruit tarts, or eating at Fridays with a big group of people.
3. I make unnecessary sound effects. A lot.
4. I watch Food Network like it's my job. And then I talk about it when I'm not watching it.
5. I speak German fluently. Apparently to some men this is a turn off because it reminds them of someone hacking up a hairball while trying to drink soup simultaneously.
6. I don't like watching sports on television, however if I am at a live sporting event I automatically turn into a fair weather fan.
7. I am an avid text messager. If you can't respect the text, then I can't respect you.
These facts are sad, but 100% true.