Holly hobby is a whore

The reality of my life crashed head long into the written word today as I read Stephanie Klein's Straight Up & Dirty. I had spent large portions of my day agonizing over the whens, what ifs, and hows of an email exchange with NotStalker. Let me back up.

Last night I turned a daydream into reality and I finally stepped up to the plate*. NotStalker came into the store yet again, and as nervous as I was, I realized I could only tempt fate so often before fate turned around and kicked me in the teeth. After a few deep breaths and one round through the store, I had developed a plan. I'm only 65% bold, so I actually roped another party into passing him a Notice of Attraction card ( remember the procedural dating kit?) with my email address on it. What I didn't expect was him to go back through the store looking for me as I hid in the back (35% cowardice coming through). I was 99% sure he knew who I was so I was confident I could just wait until he took advantage of that email address.

Cut to today, and I'm nauseous this morning in anticipation of an email. I really don't think I'm ever cut out for morning sickness if it's anything like that. He did email, and an email exchange was begun that mentioned meeting for coffee. I realize I'm leaving out a lot of his witty banter and my not-quite-flirty comebacks, but the real point is that I'm still at nauseous and over analyzing his last email. As I rode the bus home tonight with my copy of Klein's book, I came across a passage** was like reality slapping me in the face.

She talks about how as a married person you channel your energy into hobbies like raising a dog or fertility. However, she says that singles tend to think they don't really have an adult life until they're married.

"So we obsess over the meaning of IMs, e-mails, and lack of calls as a hobby. We can almost spreadsheet the interactions with our respective dates.
E-mailed him twice, called once.
Returned his call. Ball is in his court.
He asked you out. Up to you to respond.
We could try to elaborate, adding which story we told to whom, but it would require more typing than it's worth. And when there is no guy, we create them or resurrect the older ones because we don't what to do with the available energy we still have after our yoga, spinning, and elliptical efforts." Stephanie Klein, Straight Up & Dirty

Holy shit. This is everyone I know, including me...including today. Ho.ly.shit.


*I actually called in a relief pitcher, but who's counting, right?
**I hope she's ok with me reprinting a small passage (crossing fingers).

Everybody Hurts

I almost smoked a cigarette tonight. After almost a year of not even touching one ever since I "quit" even though I never started. When your kissing someone on a regular basis who does smoke, it makes things more enjoyable to not be startled by the taste of cigarettes. I never bought a pack and never got to the point where just one wasn't enough to make me light-headed, but it was still a disgusting routine I had gotten into. Drinking=a cigarette. Party=a cigarette. The boyfriend who smokes=a cigarette. For a girl with a high tolerance of alcohol, but a low tolerance for paying for drinks, nicotine provided that extra bit of light-headedness I was looking for back in the day.

So earlier tonight, when I was driving down that familiar road, and caught a whiff of my hair, fragranted by cigarette smoke not from me, I was whisked down Memory Lane. Sometimes I hate Memory Lane. Tonight Memory Lane took me back to ease and familiarity. It also took me back to friends I don't speak to anymore yet who, at the time, I believe were completely infatuated with me, maybe even in love with me if I can speak so grandly. This is a person who's gestures and meanings were so misread and often just completely missed that it took me until after we weren't friends anymore to realize the situation that had been created. And even though I most definitely never had similar feelings for him, I would be lying to say that knowing someone wanted me like that didn't feel kind of special.

Unfortunately, in that situation the stars weren't aligned and nothing could have ever come from that. I felt kind of bad at the time because I did like the attention he gave me and worried I was leading him on. But he wanted me and who doesn't want that? Everybody wants to be wanted. Everyone has a sense of need, and if it's not coming from where you want it, it's easy to fall into that trap of getting it from where you can.

Pimps, 'Hos, Suzy Q's and Joe Blows

Okay, I've been thinking about this one for a few days (weeks actually), and its finally come together enough for me to post about it. *imagine NotSamantha having a semi-serious side*

It seems like everywhere I turn there is this dynamic of hot guy(read pimp) must get hot girl (ho), the two chase around each other in various forms of dating. There's internet dating sites which champion those who have the means to get online, post their picture, and some comments about themselves and wait for the potential hot person of the opposite and/or same sex to respond. Or the internet classified ads which again, with a picture and a few lines, you too can be eyed by all and sundry and have the opportunity to meet the guy of your internet dreams.

And while there's nothing wrong with looking good, because self confidence is a worthwhile thing, isn't there a point where it crosses a line; where doing this one final thing will take you from the realm of the regular schmucks (read Suzy Q and Joe Blow), right into the clutches of pimp and ho 'dom. And I can't even tell you where the line in the sand is, because I don't know, but as I sit here thinking about my next move into the dating pool, I can't help but question my pretenses and the lists of things that I have that my ideal candidate for a mate must have. Instead of the ho, putting myself out for any and every guy to take a bid on via paying for the date, buying flowers and just generally trying to impress me, have I become the pimp, showing off the wares of my virtual self in the hopes of enticing someone to make a bid (strike up an email conversation) for my time.

Pimps, hos, Suzy Q's and Joe Blows, eh. People all and daters alike. This post was way too deep for me, but it was something I needed to put out there. Because whether or not we're putting ourselves on display as the super-hott, totally fine girl/guy or the regular girl or guy that just wants a date and mate we are all at some point just people trying to make our way through the sticky part of adulthood that involves pairing off two by two.

Night Flight

I don't know why, but today I felt a wave of self confidence wash over me. Perhaps it was that I wore one of my favorite skirts, my hott tall shoes and a bright green shirt, but I was all smiles and sunshine.
Work was great, I found out my next paycheck is going to be a crazy amount, the hours flew by, and we all ate lunch with one of the cute interns that went on a work trip with us. (Yes, I did flirt). I also found out that this guy from Radford we worked on a project with about a year ago is working with us again and he asked one of my coworkers if I still worked there. He was then like "Oh, I bet she doesn't even remember me... but tell her I said hi."
Cue teasing cackles and "k-i-s-s-i-n-g" songs.

But that's beside the point. I got off at 1 and rode my little "i'm so cute, I'm so happy" high all the way to my other job. I didn't work at my other job today, but I felt the need to buy things (BTW, NotCarrie thanks for the cd recommendation... Mogwai is just what I wanted!).
So I get there and it turns out NotElvis is working (okay, it didn't "turn out" that way... my clandestine partner in crime was working too and she told me he was...) so I decided to talk to him for a bit while i searched cds. We got to talking and I asked him if he was going to the party on Saturday being held by one of our coworkers. He was like "Yeah, I'd like to, I need to get the address from someone... I hope i can find it." I finally got my purchases together and as he started to ring me up, the light bulb went off in my head. "Listen, if you want I can give you a ride there..." he looked at me and without hesitation went "okay, what time?"
So it's set. He's coming to my house on Saturday and then we're going to the party together.
He also got my phone number.

So, what's my next step? I can't get drunk on Saturday since I'm the driver. The party starts early so chances are we'll leave early. I'm giving two other people a ride there, how do I get rid of them so I can invite him into my house alone? Do I get him drunk and take advantage of him? The chances of it not being weird the next day at work are slim to none if that happens.
Besides, he's not that kind of guy. And that's not the kind of thing I want.

I've got two days to figure out how to tell him I like him. I've got to on Saturday or I think I'll lose my mind...

Not So Married Anymore...

Well, well, well...So married guy, the one who was confusing me a bit with his friendly, flirty behavior towards me, is, as it turns out, NOT married. Well, technically he stll is, I suppose, but seeing as how he is dating someone a little close to home (away from home) he's as good as single.

So I didn't imagine the flirting and I also did not imagine the ring I had seen on his left hand. What a crazy situation this has turned into, but I have to say I am still glad I never flirted with him before. How awkward would it have been to find out from the person he's dating about their situation and then to think back to me telling her all about our flirty conversations. This new information about him did cause me for a moment to wish I had found out before. All of a sudden, once I found he was single and taken all at the same time, he was kind of appealing. Just for a moment, though. I got over it quickly.

Speaking of...I'm running with no crushes still. I did find myself checking out NotTaylor as he walked away, and giving him a patented 'look' when he asked what I've been up to lately and if I've been finding boyfriends. NotMiranda said that if I don't try to makeout with him then she'd ask for an introduction. I'm working on it, there's a happy hour in the works!

Master & Commander

While NotCarrie is trying to start over with a clean crush slate, I've found that I've become some kind of crush slut, juggling multiple nefarious flirtations. I hadn't even bothered to give any of them Not names until now.

NotStalker - He may very well be my favorite, and I don't even really know him. It's been a good three weeks since we last made eye contact and waved...since he followed me off the metro. He's the kind of guy you daydream about and feel like you know him even though you don't. Can our lives continue to intersect without my even knowing his name? Not if I can help it.

NotDiggler - While NotStalker may be my favorite, NotDiggler is certainly the most fun. Flirting with him is my guilty pleasure. He's like eating Haagen Dazs while on a diet...so bad for you but so worth it. Tattooed and pierced with a likely interest in recreational drugs, he knows how to play (flirt) with a girl and is on my short list for future makeout partners.

NotGeorge - Did you ever see that episode of Sex & the City where they go to California and Miranda visits her New York friend. That's NotGeorge! He's also the almost accidental online sex guy. He probably doesn't even qualify for the crush category, but periodic flirtation mixed in with sarcasm and negativity gets him a couple of steps in the right direction.

NotManga - NotManga is my secret crush that no one knows about. He's a quirky fellow who's working his way to being a comic book artist. He's thoughtful, kind and most of all DIFFERENT. I've seen him off and on for a year or two, but we've only recently begun talking. He's my shy crush.

Dreamy McDreamerson

Well, no word yet from our possible lurker yet, but as promised, this party is SO not stopping!

I had a dream about my ex-boyfriend* the other night. Parts of it were a bit futuristic and very 12 Monkeys**, but I guess the parts that mattered were my interactions with him...or lack thereof. In the dream I ran into him and ended up going back to his place with what I guess were "intentions." Once we got there though he started playing video games and was ignoring me. (Go figure!) Then, very unlike me, I laid on his bed in hopes that he would see me there and finally understand the intentions that brought me there. It was very clear in the dream that I wanted to makeout with him. And the ironic part*** was that back in the day, I think he tried everything he could to try to get me ON a bed and I always found a reason not to or to have to leave. (You can see why he's an ex, right?) So I'm just dumbfounded in the dream, wondering how he can ignore the hott*** girl on his bed while he plays...video games. It wasn't even Halo which I could maybe understand. If it were Halo I wouldn't be on the bed, I would be next to him killing his XBox ass with a torpedo gun or something...

Hmm, I digress...


So do you think there is something more to my dream? It can't be about the ex-bf, I know it's not about that. Thoughts otherwise, though?


*The easiest way to describe him.
**OMG, Brad Pitt! HOT!
***"Don't you think?"~Alanis
***Do not argue, it was a dream!

Looking up from Rock Bottom…

Last week opened with me admitting my descent into a rut, this weekend, finds me contemplating new beginnings.

Be it diet, dating or disasters (the three Ds that most of us know), there is always the next day, hour or minute that will give us the opportunity to start anew.

And that’s what I plan to do today. I’m renewing some vows I made to myself, I’m remembering why I made the decisions I did and I’m reminding myself that I need to stick to my guns.

BNSk(Before NotSkippy), I was a fairly outgoing, physically active woman of the world. DNSk(During NotSkippy), I moved further and further away from my gym status and closer and closer to becoming a home body and abandoner of her friends. Now in ANSk(After NotSkippy), I’m in the land of not caring and rutdom and I need to break out. So let the breaking commence.

I thought that a night on the town would do it, maybe a movie or two, a drink with friends or something equally social. But, as with most things that I need, the physical rules for me. So with my gym bag firmly in hand, my CD player (because I haven’t broken down and gotten an mp3 player yet), and my stack of mags I’ll be heading to the one place where I can beat my body and mind into submission, the gym. Retail therapy, yeah I could, but cute shoes aren’t what I need (besides, I just dropped some cash last week on the hottest grey snakeskin heels). I need to hit the reset button on me, to clear away the blue screen of death I’ve been staring at for way to long.

So thanks for the understanding and well wishes, I’ll think fondly of you guys as I head out tonight. I’ve been at square one before, I’ve started over before, and this time, I’m hoping to not be at rock bottom before I realize what is wrong.

Accidentally doing it

Just to prove we haven't been scared away, I thought I'd tell you about how I almost accidentally had online sex last weekend. I had spent all day tooling around town in the oppressive heat with NotCarrie and had decided to spend the evening at home in my climate-controlled apartment. I had begun messaging an online friend* earlier in the afternoon and continued to talk to him as I swung by the grocery store. Rather than the something for dinner I had stopped for, it suddenly seemed like a good idea to buy a bottle of wine. As he helped me pick out a bottle, he commented how it felt like a date. I began to get the sense then that mixing a bottle of wine and a little instant message could mean trouble. As the wine flowed, my fingers (hello...instant messenger?!) and tongue untied the knot that usually holds me in check. Suddenly I found myself smiling at my sidekick** and giggling to an empty room. We talked about dating and the opposite sex, among other things. I think I mentioned him and know he was on my mind. Then my stupid fingers somehow confessed how being tipsy makes me horny (sorry...know you hate that word, NC). When the message on my screen started blinking, 'what are you wearing?', my eyes widened and I reached for my wine glass. Was I ready for this? Did I want this? By this time any delicate sipping of the wine has gone out the window and I'm full-on chugging. If you know me at all, you won't be surprised by the fact that I was honest and admitted wearing flannel pjs***. I did make the effort to inquire as to what he was wearing. Conversation flowed, continuing on a slightly more normal path. Wine, time and a desire to leave out details keeps my memory hazy, but suddenly he was asking whether I had the skills to type on my phone with one hand. I'm not going to lie...I said I did (not one to play down my typing skills). More hazy time passes, and I finish my bottle of wine. I'm still thirsty and discover the last two Woodchuck pear ciders in the house. I down**** them and confess my sins via AIM. He asks if I need to be punished. I have to admit that after 5 hours, 1 bottle of wine, and 2 pear ciders I was intrigued. He, of course, was a tease. Jump ahead another hour to 1 am and my tipsy self is getting drowsy with no one to hold my hand. The conversation does eventually end in a fairly anti-climatic fashion after 6 hours. And that, my friends, is how I almost had online sex last weekend. Just remember, wine and AIM are a risk combination.


*Acquaintance? Flirtation? I really don't know. How about some guy I've been talking to sporadically online?
**My phone...the instrument I was using to have said AIM conversation.
***What? Flannel can be hott.
****I normally can down nothing with alcohol. I was drunk by this point.

Gorillas in the Mist

I'm sitting here at my fucking desk about to have a heart attack. My eyes are watering and my heart is pounding. As is obvious from our "names", this was meant as an anonymous blog amongst the girls where we could vent, share, etc. While we talk about other stuff, it is and will remain primarily a dating (or lack thereof) blog. Don't get me wrong, a miniscule set of (girl) friends we know in real life read and love us. However, imagine if one of our dear male friends ever stumbled across the blog. If it were you, would your eyes water and your heart race like mine is? If you're out there reading (and you know who you are), please just let us know you found it. If I'm right, you've been reading for a bit and are obviously ok with what you read. I just need to know I'm not so anonymous anymore.

Not Miranda




Maybe we were naive in thinking we could continue to be anonymous on this blog. We started off with no readers and now we're getting upwards of 40 comments a day and can even be found by Googling, "Sex and the City." And sure, as NotMiranda said, a few of our girl friends do know about the blog and even a few of our blogger friends have put together some clues to figure out who we are. But the difference between those people and the potential lurkers* who may in fact be people we know, is that we had the control still. I could hang out with NotRebecca (a real friend, someone I know outside of the blogger world who does know about this blog) and then write about our evening, but I could also explain what I meant by certain parts. She knows there is more to me than constantly talking about crushes and kissing and so-and-so who happens to be male. So, for this blog, the four of us take what we do day in and day out and look at it from a different perspective. What worries me about lurkers who know us, is that he (sorry, they) might not realize this.

Reading this blog without knowing the whole story or hearing it straight from me is like reading my secret diary. Of course it's not my every thought and sure, sometimes I have to focus on certain things for the sake of a point, but a lot of stuff in here is heartfelt and not something I would want to be read and known about the next time I see someone in person.

So, like NotMiranda said, if you're out there, and you're feeling like we're pointing right at you...we are. So let us know, ok?


NotCarrie


*Lurkers are those who read but never comment.

Clean Slate

In an effort to no longer be CRAZY, I am wiping my crush slate clean and starting over. The beauty of a crush is that, ideally, it is merely an interest and therefore, something I can stop doing. (Easier said than done, eh?) Crushes that go on for too long become toxic because the behavior becomes a habit and at some point, it's either more than just a crush or the crush has gone but the behavior has not.

When I had the crush to end all crushes on my friend in college it lasted for years and at one point, after I hadn't seen him for awhile, I knew it was ridiculous to keep that up. Now, this was a rare case because I did see him again soon after that realization and I almost threw up because of the damn butterflies in my stomach but that's neither here nor there. OK, bad example.

My friend just said to me how she wishes she could, "turn [her] crush off" and if I could have yelled through the computer, I would have said, "I KNOW!" just like Monica on Friends. Sometimes crushes come at the wrong times and sometimes they're on the wrong people. Have you ever had even the teeniest little crush on a friend's boyfriend? I have! Not that I did anything about it, but what an awkward situation. And what about when you're with one person and develop a crush on someone else? Talk about a sticky situation...or the times when I've wanted to be with someone who was already with someone else. Ugh, the heartache!

So as of today, July 18th, 2006, NotCarrie has no crushes and will be accepting applications. Ha, just kidding, but really, I need to start fresh. Out with the old, in with the new.


(I will update on people who still have crushes on ME, though.)

Song for the Asking

I was gone for a week on a trip for work and it gave me a lot of alone time.
I took most of that time to sleep because we had 12 hour work days, but in between the prancing around in high heels and sleeping under the down comforter in my lovely hotel room, the only thing I could think about was how great this week would have been if i had had someone to be there with me.

I've been thinking a lot about my life and what my future has in store for me and I always get stuck on the fact that it would be so much easier to make these life changes if i had someone to be there with me.
In one year's time i will be a college graduate and what I have planned for what I do after I get my diploma involves moving away from Virginia and starting all over again, by myself.

The entire week I was gone I was so lonely I couldn't stand it. Even when I was with my coworkers, most of them would talk about their familys and husbands waiting for them at home. I would just nod and sort of "uh huh" at them but inside i was yearning to say the same things about them. I visited one of my closest friends to help her plan things for her wedding and when i saw her and her fiance' together I couldn't stop the pangs of jealousy from shooting through my body.

I saw "The Devil Wears Prada" today and the main character was starting fresh in NYC at a hellious job but you know what? She had a wonderful (and hot) boyfriend to come home to.

I want that. So bad.

I'm just saying that it would be nice to have someone to share all of these experiences with.

I don't think i'm ready to face another chapter in my life without someone there with me to open it.

Me, The General, Edy's and 1 Corona....

*insert Garth Brooks refrain of 'Two Pina Colodas" here*

It's been a hard month of nothing, and I mean crickets chirping kind of nothing. No men, very little interaction with the girls *my fault not theirs*, which leads me to tonight. My Friday night-in ritual has officially gotten old and tired enough to become my Friday night rut, as in stuck in.

I'm in the mood to shake things up a bit, but I'm lacking that little thing called motivation. And it seems to be passing over into the other parts of my life. I've given up on dating, cooking *almost*, mixing it up with friends, taking care of myself and just about everything has hit the "meh" on the 'want to do' scale. So here's what I need. Some inspiration from the readers out there. I need to get off my butt and do something, see people and be somewhere that involves meeting those of the opposite sex....any ideas?

Married-Guy Flirting

I really don't want to give too many details, but a marrried guy has been flirting with me. I am certain that his behavoir towards me is different than that towards the other women I see him interact with. It's not suggestive in a, "Let's go do it in the backseat of my car" way, but it is quite confusing none-the-less! It makes it so I don't know how to talk to him because I am a flirter by nature yet I don't want to get myself into a sticky situation. Either he could get the wrong idea or someone nearby could get the wrong idea and that would be BAD.

I'm not really sure what to do. I like talking to him because we have common interests and he's funny, but having to constantly be aware of NOT flirting is going to be tough.

Whatever Happened To That Guy?

What's a girl to do when her Netflix are a day late and there's nothing on TV? Turn to already owned DVDs, I guess. And with all of the news stories about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' missing baby, Suri, it's no wonder my choice tonight was to throw on Dawson's Creek.

Before you make fun of me, let me get to my point: I went to school with a NotPacey. Cute, mischievous, misunderstood at times, and dated the good girl who got good grades. We were all surprised when they started dating-what did he see in her? What did SHE see in him? It was the perfect example of opposites attracting, but, over time I definitely started to see what she was seeing.

NotPacey was a catch! Not only was he cute but he was sweet and intelligent, always up for an adventure, and romantic. They dated throughout senior year and their first few years of college and although I lost touch with both of them, I never forgot him. I heard through a friend when they broke up a couple of years ago, and I would be lying if I said I didn't wonder where he ended up or where he is now.

I'm not holding my breath waiting to see NotPacey again as it has been way too many years, but he was a good lesson learned that there is more beneath the surface of people and that is really what counts. It was good for me back then to realize that it wouldn't be embarassing to have a crush on the goofball or the guy who wouldn't be chosen for Male Hottie of the Year. My last two big crushes? Definitely not the types of guys to fall on most girl's radars. I really think that thanks to NotPacey I was confident enough to come forward with my feelings in those situations.

(I've been REALLY introspective lately. I'm not sure what's up.)

Good on paper

The older I get the more I become clear to me. I sometimes worry that I'm too picky and prefer the dream of what a man might be like over the reality of what he is. I've been talking to a few guys online recently and am frustrated with how quickly I start finding things wrong with them. One of the guys I'm talking to is nice enough, but I'm finding myself quickly frustrated. He's quick with the banter and asks good questions. However, the spy in me keeps taking what he says and trying to piece together a profile of sorts. First off, he's needy (of contact) and has issues (palpable enough to feel). There has been a decent amount of talk about rejection, etc, and I find muscles in my back starting to knot. I always attract this kind of guy...the guy with problems that he's more than happy to talk about. Whatever happened to getting through the good stuff before starting to bitch about life? Shouldn't I get time to build up some intrigue and affection for you before you lay on the more lackluster side of your personality? Even worse is that when I googled him*, I really liked what I saw on paper, and this has led me to give him more of a chance than I normally would. Do I just keep telling myself I'm not giving people enough of a chance and bolting at the first negative?


*Don't judge...you know you do it, too.

Hot Fun In The Summertime!

My usually Sunday routine is totally shaken up today and I'm going to be a few places where I normally am not. I'm looking forward to each time as my new mindset is to always be open to meeting new people.


And I hope these new people just so happen to be hott guys in between the ages of 24 and 30.

For What Reason

I was reading one of my coworker's blogs yesterday and found something very interesting.

There is this girl that works with us and she is the most annoying, childish, attention-craving girl I have ever met. She is loud, obnoxious, and clueless about anything that doesn't involve God, paper products, and cute purses. I think it's important for me to also explain that she is one of the most naiive and innocent people I have ever met. It's also safe to say that she is choosing to be a Virgin until marriage.

That being said, my coworkers blog detailed events that occured one night when they were working together. Apparently this girl gets hit on at work on a regular basis. My coworker watched as this girl got this guys number by him just walking up to her and asking for it.
When my coworker asked her about it, she goes "Yeah, if I get through the other 10 phone numbers I've gotten lately, we'll see if he works out."
Pretentious, snobby answer aside, I really don't understand this. Neither does my coworker. In her blog, she goes on to ask that if she is neither obnoxious nor loud, why does she never get asked out at work? Why don't guys come up to talk to her and ask for her phone number?

At the time I read her blog, I didn't have an answer. I thought about it for awhile and I think I came up with a great answer.

My coworker (along with a lot of us equally wonderful women), seem to exude something that this loud mouthed girl lacks: Self Confidence. She is loud because she craves attention she doesn't think she can get by being herself.
Men can't prey on women that ooze "talk to me-- I dare you"-ness. They ask this girl out because she looks innocent and has the look of a hurt puppy.
These guys are probably the same ones who watch nothing but football on the weekend, wear popped collar shirts and promise---PROMISE to pull out at the last second.

I feel bad for this girl.

I think I've got something here, but please let me know what you guys think.

Since I'm doing a fine job of holding to the No Sex of No Sex & the City, I've been hard-pressed to find something to write about. I haven't stopped noticing all of the attractive men I run across though. They pass me on the street, work with me in the office, stride through my dreams. I am constantly in amazement of how we each find such different things attractive. Don't get me wrong...this is an awesome survival instinct. I'd hate for us all to be fighting for the same kind of mate! I like my guys tall in the extreme and prefer to quirky to the beautiful. I appreciate the Brad Pitts of the world but fall in love with the Adrian Brodys. Dark hair, a little shaggy...big, rough hands. I want to be made to laugh and want a little passion about something (don't even care if that something is Star Trek). I do have my eye on a guy right now that seems to fit my "type", but it's proceeding at mach zero. In the interim, I dream date.