Sunday, July 16, 2006

Song for the Asking

I was gone for a week on a trip for work and it gave me a lot of alone time.
I took most of that time to sleep because we had 12 hour work days, but in between the prancing around in high heels and sleeping under the down comforter in my lovely hotel room, the only thing I could think about was how great this week would have been if i had had someone to be there with me.

I've been thinking a lot about my life and what my future has in store for me and I always get stuck on the fact that it would be so much easier to make these life changes if i had someone to be there with me.
In one year's time i will be a college graduate and what I have planned for what I do after I get my diploma involves moving away from Virginia and starting all over again, by myself.

The entire week I was gone I was so lonely I couldn't stand it. Even when I was with my coworkers, most of them would talk about their familys and husbands waiting for them at home. I would just nod and sort of "uh huh" at them but inside i was yearning to say the same things about them. I visited one of my closest friends to help her plan things for her wedding and when i saw her and her fiance' together I couldn't stop the pangs of jealousy from shooting through my body.

I saw "The Devil Wears Prada" today and the main character was starting fresh in NYC at a hellious job but you know what? She had a wonderful (and hot) boyfriend to come home to.

I want that. So bad.

I'm just saying that it would be nice to have someone to share all of these experiences with.

I don't think i'm ready to face another chapter in my life without someone there with me to open it.

34 comments:

Lindsey said...

*Sigh* I know I know I know. With my 29th birthday looming in front of me tomorrow...it's becoming even harder for me to face as well. It just hit me like a ton of bricks that I'm nearly 30 and still single. If I don't meet someone soon I might not have children til I"m nearly 40 if I get to have any at all. I'm so depressed.

one girl said...

Totally feel your pain.
Do you remeber that episode of Sex and the City when Carrie tells Charlotte that maybe we're the knights on white horses and just have to save ourselves? So true.

NotCarrie said...

I loved that moment in SATC:)

NotCharlotte said...

But i don't want to be a knight...

haha.

happy early birthday Linny.

hagrin said...

Coming from the other side of this, enjoy the single time and be sure to focus on "you" things. After being in a relationship for 3 years, engaged for 1 year, although I'm 27 and single I'm using this time to do as much "me" stuff as possible.

Sure, I miss being able to share my accomplishments with someone special - in fact, it almost makes what you do not as special, but you do need to find the happiness in what you do everyday. I never thought that without my fiancee that I could do the things I am doing now, but once you realize the rewards for doing things for yourself, you'll get that "stink of desperation" off of you (more for guys than girls I think).

Anyways, what do I know - I'm a guy's guy. :)

Anonymous said...

try not to be too needy/desperate, and you'll find a decent boyfriend.

NotCharlotte said...

hagrin, i completely understand where you're coming from.

i guess i also feel this way because i've never had that deep, meaningful, longterm relationship that most of the people i see and am slightly jealous of have.

anonymous, needy and desperate are not words i associate with myself


and to future anonymous people, please have the balls to let us know who you are... i'm tired of people with false courage.

Sandra Dee said...

I totally hear you. Eeeeeeveryone I work with is married, and work is really hard when they all talk about their husbands or building their houses or their kids. I just don't have anything to add to the conversations because I can't relate to any of that!

Oh well. One day, I suppose.

A decent boyfriend is on the horizon for both of us!

bitingsarcasm said...

took me a while to respond to the comment you left me--but I finally did.

as for the rest of your life, freelance writing has the promise of fame and untold riches coupled with rock solid security.

DCVita said...

We all have that same desire! I don't think it ever really goes away.

To anonymous- wanting to find a great love is not needy or desperate, but a basic human desire. Not wanting to be loved is just not human!

You will meet him one day. For now, use this time to get in touch with who you really are. I am 29 and I can honestly tell you that the best year of my life was when I turned 27. I learned who I really was.

NotCarrie said...

DCvita- I look forward to my next birthday now! Haha:)

For awhile at my job, everyone was divorced but me. It was pretty interesting for them all to be jealous of me.

Shannon said...

Oh boy. I have to say to PLEASE enjoy your singledom for as long as possible. I'm not saying to avoid getting into a relationship, or to avoid having fun with the opposite sex. Just look forward to the challenges of going out into the big unknown and finding out the things you can handle on your own.

Everyone needs a companion...we're social animals, but don't feel that you can't enjoy life without a man.

I've been with my husband for all of my adult life, and I regret not spending time on my own...in my own apartment...traveling, etc.

Appreciate what you have now :)

NotMiranda said...

I feel like this post and its comments draws a huge line down the pavement that I'll hop back and forth over. Sure, I want someone. However, I guess I'm now in one of my "single life can rule" stages. I love the fact that I can ponder moving anywhere in the world and not have to take anyone into account but me. I like knowing I could make out with that hot crush if I wanted to. Don't get me wrong, regular snogging and companionship would be awesome, but I agree with Hagrin and Shannon. Be ready but also cherish the things only truly ok when single ; )

NotCarrie said...

I like NotMiranda's comment about the line and jumping back and forth over it. I find that I jump over to the "I WANT A BOYFRIEND" side when I know who I want that person to be. It is then when I feel like I'm missing out on things because it's more real to me. Otherwise, if there's noone on my radar, I'm all about the single life, baby. There are pros and cons to both sides (single and not-single) so enjoy what you have, when you have it. And just keep an eye out for potential suitors...one will come.

Chuckles said...

I have said this before and will say it again and again. The friends that we all know who marry their college relationships are totally freaking cheating.

They don't have to move through the hell pits of dating like we do. I am so not jealous of them. Not one tiny bit. No, sir.

Jordan said...

We always want what we don't currently have.. if we're single we want to be in a commited relationship.. for those that are in commited relationships, you wish you were single sometimes.. (don't lie now). It was kind of the best of both worlds when I had a "friend" that lived 8 miles away.. we did a lot together, kept each other company, but I didn't have to tell him where I was going, what I was doing.. nothing. Yeah. That was a sweet 2 years.

Beth said...

ljust discovered this blog, such a fun read! in addition to what one girl said..i'm not sure if it's in the same episode or not, but carrie also says that maybe it's our girl friends who are our soulmates, and we should just have fun with men...just something to consider. :)

i have to agree with a lot of other people who commented, i go back and forth between loving being single and wishing i had some fabulous romance.

hagrin said...

You know - after reading this blog now for only a few weeks, I'm convinced I should start some type of service that scours the Internet for available people not on dating services and matches them up with what I think are compatible matches.

With so many twenty something, intelligent women posting here looking for a guy worth their time and nice, genuine guys looking for the atypical girl (i.e. How many times do you hear "those types of girls don't exits?"), I really think I might be on to something here. :)

Too bad we all "love" the random fix-up (is there anything worse?).

NotCharlotte said...

hagrin- hook a sister up! :-)

NotCarrie said...

Yeah, do it Hagrin!

Senor Beavis said...

>"and to future anonymous people, >please have the balls to let us >know who you are... i'm tired of >people with false courage."

While off topic, word to the 800th power, NotCharlotte! All four of you do a fabulous job of promoting a communal atmosphere, so when people are like, "I'm the shit. I have something to say, but I'm too cool for y'all," that's not awesome. One of my old second city writing teachers once told us that every character should always have a name, whether he or she has any lines or not because that character has a past, a future a place he or she came from and a place he or she is going. It may not be in this story, but, "He's a person; give him a name." Sorry, that's a pet peeve of mine. Go forth and entertain.

Jordan said...

Anonymous commenters who have mean things to say, studies prove, have very very small penises.

Hagrin - hook/link us up to your 'new' blog brother! Oh wait.. will you work with 30somethings too?

hagrin said...

Wow, I came back thinking people would have glanced over my suggestion, but wow it might actually seem like a worthwhile side project. Hmmm, maybe I can eve hook myself up at it - you know, save the good ones for myself. *wink*

I'll throw the idea around in my head some more and I'll let the four fine ladies that run this blog if I come up with something tangible.

It's funny - we're all looking for the same thing, in the same places and we still can't find each other. This after college dating thing is harder than most jobs. :)

NotCarrie said...

"It's funny - we're all looking for the same thing, in the same places and we still can't find each other."

Seriously.

NotCharlotte said...

Beavis- well said! And thanks :-)

Jordan- I have to agree with you on the anonymous/small package comment ;-)

Hagrin- you've got a big job ahead of you... the four of us are *quite* picky. But you probably already knew that ;-)

Marissa said...

yes. i feel your pain. and why i say i feel it, i mean the pangs of loneliness are shooting through me as we speak. i say it every day - i'm so ready. i'm just ready to find my partner and to begin sharing life's experiences with someone. ive been in nyc for close to 4 years now -- 3 of them i've been single. i'm just ready to make the transition from solo to duo.

Clueless said...

I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting that at all. Maybe try not to lose focus of your other goals while waiting for it to happen but it doesn't sound like you have :)

But on the bright side, I really do think that relationships CAN be a lot of work too don't forget. Behind the shiny facade in movies, in reality is a heap of give & take, little squabbles over petty things, occasionally shortness of breath and band-around-chest pain of wondering "omg, does he REALLY care or is this going to work/not work".. I don't miss that. So whenever I get a moment like this (I have them too!), I remind myself of that. I'd like the fairy tale too but I know that there is no santa. ;) *chuckling*

Anon - I think I covered your comment in my own way in one of my recent entries. I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting the trifecta

Shannon said...

Hagrin is on to something with a Hook-up blog.

Not that I need it or anything. It just sounds like a good idea :)

Pop Cultured said...

30 is the new 25 btw, so keep ur chin up...and wanting a bf is cool because it shows u have the ability to give of urself...but also remember that he will be shitting in the same toilet u do...2 sides to every coin, as they say...

TheBarmaid said...

If I had Adrian Grenier to come home to, I would be home all the time. In fact, I'd probably never leave for work.

hagrin said...

NotCharlotte - "you've got a big job ahead of you... the four of us are *quite* picky. But you probably already knew that ;-)"

Hey, we're all really picky so not to worry. And yes, just from reading this blog for a few weeks I think I have a decent handle on the pickiness level and what the 4 of you are looking for.

What a coup that would be - finding perfect compliments for the 4 notSATC women. Something like that could make me a national hero. :)

NotCarrie said...

If we ever have a guest blogger...you're our man, Hagrin!

NotCharlotte said...

Hagrin, if you can do that for us... you'd be worthy of a NotName :-)

Plus a "blog visitor of the year" box in the upper right corner of our blog :-)

one girl said...

I'm SO in for the hook-up blog too!