In an effort to no longer be CRAZY, I am wiping my crush slate clean and starting over. The beauty of a crush is that, ideally, it is merely an interest and therefore, something I can stop doing. (Easier said than done, eh?) Crushes that go on for too long become toxic because the behavior becomes a habit and at some point, it's either more than just a crush or the crush has gone but the behavior has not.
When I had the crush to end all crushes on my friend in college it lasted for years and at one point, after I hadn't seen him for awhile, I knew it was ridiculous to keep that up. Now, this was a rare case because I did see him again soon after that realization and I almost threw up because of the damn butterflies in my stomach but that's neither here nor there. OK, bad example.
My friend just said to me how she wishes she could, "turn [her] crush off" and if I could have yelled through the computer, I would have said, "I KNOW!" just like Monica on Friends. Sometimes crushes come at the wrong times and sometimes they're on the wrong people. Have you ever had even the teeniest little crush on a friend's boyfriend? I have! Not that I did anything about it, but what an awkward situation. And what about when you're with one person and develop a crush on someone else? Talk about a sticky situation...or the times when I've wanted to be with someone who was already with someone else. Ugh, the heartache!
So as of today, July 18th, 2006, NotCarrie has no crushes and will be accepting applications. Ha, just kidding, but really, I need to start fresh. Out with the old, in with the new.
(I will update on people who still have crushes on ME, though.)
24 comments:
I haven't decided if I think I can actually seriously "turn off the crush." Definitely easier said than done.
I applaud your fresh start :)
~ARC
Unfortunately, I think the thing that will help to forget about old crushes is going to be a new one, haha.
i need a crush!
*sigh*
yeah, but you're right. long crushes go nowhere.
OMG...Pleae teach me how to turn off a crush!! I want to soooo bad, but every time I see him, all I want to do is kiss his juicy lips. Ok, I need to go to rehab for this :(
Crushes are like little switches in my head. I removed the last one I had after only 4 weeks.
I just kept thinking about other stuff. Boring, but with work and the beach weekend, it worked.
I've had many crushes while I've been married....but that's all they've stayed!! I think it's easier for me because there's a snowball's chance in hell for it to turn to something more.
With being single, it's harder because there's always a possibility no matter how remote.
"Turning off" a crush is hard, damned near impossible even. The only thing that works for me is out of sight, out of mind, and with some crushes, that shouldn't even be an option.
I totally agree with the toxic crush thing. But, on the other hand, sometimes just having a crush is a good thing -- like when it motivates you to put makeup on in the morning just because you might run into him on metro.
But crushes are sooooo much fun. Because you can totally be ridiculous in your daydreams and it doesn't matter ...
Pookalu- Yeah, at some point, it's just TOO LONG.
DCvita- haha, I never said I'd be able to do this.
Chuckles- I've turned the switch off before. I had a crush on someone I saw all the time and one day I was like, "POOF!" and it was over.
Shannon- Yeah, that glimmer of hope can suck sometimes.
NotMiranda- Yeah, out of sight/out of mind def helps with some people.
Dara- Luckily, I have that motivation every day, ha.
Charming, But Single- Not all of them! And I'm sure I'll have a re-crush on the easy ones again (like NotTaylor maybe? haha)
Oh lord. I have been totally guilty of the 'crush on friend's boyfriend.' BUT...I never flirted or did anything about it. *sigh*
The only think that has worked for me is definitely meeting someone new... he has to be worthy though, just not *anyone* new... and bam, it's gone.
i can't not have crushes...
that's IMPOSSIBLE!
haha :-)
Hear, hear! I fully agree.
Logics - yeah, you can stop having a crush by pure will.
Reality? Naah, not so much.
I think crushes are Gods way of punishing us, somehow. How can the possibility of falling in love be so painful and gruesome? Yep, throwing up falls under that gruesome category...
If you manage to wipe your slate clean, tell me how. I've got a few crushes lingering on... :)
Hagrin- But what if you had a crush and make a move that's not successful? Do you just not like her anymore?
Heart of Darkness- Some crushes are just trivial, fun things. Like NotTaylor? I don't sit around and daydream about him or get butterflies when I see him, but he's hott and we flirt so he's been on the crush list.
I disagree with Hagrin here. I generally only crush on people I find unattainable. Crushes are great for these sorts. For instance, I could admit to a total crush on Lisa Freidberger of The Fiery Furnaces and Lisa Light of The Lovemakers, but that's just my indie rock crush list.
People I meet in person, I am either attracted to them or not. My crushes have a half life of 2 weeks. By the end of four weeks, they are gone. I either act on those feelings or I don't and they dissolve.
Do you consider a woman in a relationship to be unattainable?
I've always had crushes on my friends boyfriends/husbands/fathers.
I think it goes with wanting what you can't have.
Sorry, my comment was easily misunderstood. By unattainable, I meant that I haven't met them and am unlikely to ever meet them without stalking them. Since I am not a creepy stalker type, it isn't going to happen. As it is, when WMP selects one of those two singer's songs, I just think pleasant thoughts about them until the song ends and I go back to work.
In reality, if I meet a woman and get crushy-type feelings, they go away after four weeks. Unless I get a response from her that the crushiness feeling is returned. That is just how I operate. I don't consider anyone I meet in real life unattainable.
Cuz I'm slick or something. Yeah, that's it.
i wished i could turn off a crush... seriously... there's a crush i definitely need to turn off...
Yay! Crushes burn up too much energy anyway! Save your energy for something that can materialise :-)
For how long a crush last?? mine it's driving me insane....
I have the perfect man at home and I do have a crush on my coworker, who is funny, cute and smart.
He said few times he likes me and always complains about his relationship with his girlfriend.
I honestly don't want to cheat!! never did... never will
hope so!!
I can't stop thinking about him because we work together every single day!!
every touch, every look into his eyes ......so much TEMPTATION!!
the only thing it's good for now it's my SELFCONTROL.
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