Okay, I've been thinking about this one for a few days (weeks actually), and its finally come together enough for me to post about it. *imagine NotSamantha having a semi-serious side*
It seems like everywhere I turn there is this dynamic of hot guy(read pimp) must get hot girl (ho), the two chase around each other in various forms of dating. There's internet dating sites which champion those who have the means to get online, post their picture, and some comments about themselves and wait for the potential hot person of the opposite and/or same sex to respond. Or the internet classified ads which again, with a picture and a few lines, you too can be eyed by all and sundry and have the opportunity to meet the guy of your internet dreams.
And while there's nothing wrong with looking good, because self confidence is a worthwhile thing, isn't there a point where it crosses a line; where doing this one final thing will take you from the realm of the regular schmucks (read Suzy Q and Joe Blow), right into the clutches of pimp and ho 'dom. And I can't even tell you where the line in the sand is, because I don't know, but as I sit here thinking about my next move into the dating pool, I can't help but question my pretenses and the lists of things that I have that my ideal candidate for a mate must have. Instead of the ho, putting myself out for any and every guy to take a bid on via paying for the date, buying flowers and just generally trying to impress me, have I become the pimp, showing off the wares of my virtual self in the hopes of enticing someone to make a bid (strike up an email conversation) for my time.
Pimps, hos, Suzy Q's and Joe Blows, eh. People all and daters alike. This post was way too deep for me, but it was something I needed to put out there. Because whether or not we're putting ourselves on display as the super-hott, totally fine girl/guy or the regular girl or guy that just wants a date and mate we are all at some point just people trying to make our way through the sticky part of adulthood that involves pairing off two by two.
7 comments:
I suck at daiting. Don't get asked out that much. Not enough 'ho', I suppose... :)
Plus, I live in a small town. Chances are, I go on a date, and we spend the entire evening talking about mutual friends - his best friend, and my ex boyfriend... *sigh* I need anotehr life in another town...!
It's all about marketing.
I've got a masters in marketing... *sigh*
Great Post! You are so right. Why should anyone have to pimp themselves on a dating site to get dates? It is one thing to find someone that share your interests, but if you are out doing your thing then by default (or so you would think) you are already around people that have common interests.
I am torn between the whole online dating thing. Still can't decide if I wanna jump on the bandwago. I just really really feel that it takes the romance and excitement out of it all. I believe in chance encounters. I don't want to submit an application for a man!
This is like my padded bra theory and why I think they're crap. I had a roommate once who wore this INSANELY padded bra, it may have even been one of those water-filled ones. I was always perplexed because at some point, the guy she was with was going to take that monster off and NOT find what he was expecting. This is how online profile pics seem to be sometimes. Do I really want to put my "glamour"* shot up and the one where the lighting and shadows make me look perfect? What if I go on a date with someone from online and there are the dreaded fluorescent lights? Sure, it's about more than looks (which, of course, I have**), but I wouldn't want a false representation of myself out there as my 'bait'.
Sorry, I rambled AND went off topic.
*Not really the kind from the in-mall studio. Just a GOOD pic.
**Confidence, loves it.
Glad that this sparked some conversation.
NM - I was so close to naming this post "Pimps, 'hos, Suzy Q's and Joe Blows or How to Not to Market yourself as Dateworthy"
Hagrin - Welcome to the digital world. Who would have though that the internet would create more problems than it solves. In reality we've just added one more tab in the ways to get a date category, one which unfortunately still doesn't work. And I will be the first to admit that I have the 'glamour shot' that NotCarrie mentions. Although I didn't take Photoshop to it I do make sure I look my best. But there's a difference between looking your best and laying out the artifice full force.
DCVita - Glad you liked it. I've spent so much time thinking about dating that I've started to see the flaws in what some would see as the easiest routes to meet people and they're not pretty. I agree why should you have to apply to meet someone? or pay money for the opportunity to meet someone with no guarantee of success?
NC - See the padded bra is no different from the photoshopped photo...and what happens when you meet or get down to the point where the bra comes off and he discovers he's been dating a member of the less than full chested...what if he's a breast man? Then what. Okay so getting rid of that pimple that appeared is fine, but taking away the large mole or piercing/tattoo/etc. that's really not going to be gone when you meet is just unfair to the person you're going to meet.
Dancing Diva - 'nuff said.
I think I market myself with eyeliner and humor. No padded bras or photoshopped-out tattoos.
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