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I asked the cowboy out for coffee! I'm sure you're all laughing, but it was very hard for me to take that step and not reference it being a work meeting or anything. When I got a quick response back, I couldn't bring myself to open it for about 30 minutes. I finally got tired of it mocking me in my inbox, so I steeled myself for the answer.

I'm struggling to be realistic but am happy with the results. I've posted the response below for our mutual overanalyzation...

"I would, but I'm in XXXXXXX for two weeks taking Rosgen courses.
Maybe next time. FYI - there is a nice little coffee shop on Washington Street next to Facia Luna (where we had lunch last time)."

Ring of truth

You know you've reached a certain age when one of the first things you check out on a guy is whether or not he's wearing a wedding ring. Don't get me wrong...this isn't something I've only recently begun. Somewhere in my mid-twenties I began to notice ring-peep trend, and it has become second nature by now. I'm tired of it though and feel somewhat deceived by all these couples entering into long-term committed relationships with no desire to get married. There needs to be some kind of relationship badge. You know..."loving, long-term relationship", "we're just dating", "I'm available", "Dating awhile but going nowhere"...that kind of thing.

In other news, I'm going to ask the cowboy out for coffee next week. Screw it. If he's not interested, he's just not interested. I have more to lose by just wondering than I do by actually taking action.

Oh yeah...

I forgot to mention that my roommate is going to hook me up with some interviews with guys from her job (they're actually cute and in the right age range). She's also going to be my interview pimp at church. Can you imagine me interviewing church guys? This one makes me a little nervous. You guys interested in taking some of the interviews from her work?

Continuing chronicles of a sex spy

...at least I think I'm still a sex spy. Gatherer of gossip...discerner of truth...everybody's confessor. Ok, that last one may be a little extreme, but I did have to listen to a lotta talk this weekend from the NotBigMouths (i.e., NotBigMouth and her posse) about getting some and anal foreplay. *sigh* Why me? NotaStewardess's sharing in that particular arena was a bit much. It's like because more people are finding out about these interviews they feel like I'm the person to talk to about their sexual proclivities. Not! Of course, with these two I have a feeling an underlying motive may be to ensure that certain bits of info (i.e., NotBigMouth is getting some) get passed to NotCharlotte.

One thing I've learned from the weekend is that men continue to be even more complicated than I ever thought. It's not that I thought they were easy, but they're full of all of these intricate little spaces you can get lost in trying to figure out. NotElliot for instance. What the hell is up with that boy? Truth be told...this sex spy is almost tired of trying to figure him out.

I can't let a post get by without commenting on my two interviews this week. While at two opposite ends of the sexual spectrum, they both endeared themselves to me even more. NotCharlotte, do you feel like these interviews are bonding you closer with the person you're interviewing? After the article is finished, I'm thinking of compiling some of the "research" on this site. The more guys I talk to the more I learn about this necessary species : )

You're Moving Like A Movie, You Still Move Me.

I'm at the point right now where I can't even decide if I'm happy or sad about the situation. Why is this even a situation where a decision is appropriate? I can't even figure that out. I can't figure anything out.
I want to have a theme for this post, something to focus on but for the life of me I cannot wrap my mind around anything right now. So instead, I am going to go to sleep with hopes of having really nice dreams because lately that is all I can get. And I don't mean sex dreams, I mean nice dreams.

I think I'm happy, in fact I know I am happy. I'm just one frustrated (not sexually) little camper!

sleep tight, dream right.

so yesterday evening was quite interesting.
i had my first interview, NotEmo. He's a guy my age, typical emo kid physically that listens to hardcore rock shite. I thought he'd be a good interview and i was not disappointed.
We went to happy hour at the resteraunt next to our place of work and after one drink i realized we were talking about stuff that should be taped. I felt very comfortable around him and he was very open about the questions i was asking. I'll put a more detailed post when i listen to the tape again, but what i learned from him was a bit different from the other interviewees but i also found a lot in common. He's still fucked over his last girlfriend, who cheated on him, but it didn't stop him from having sex with her last month. he called himself a loser for doing that, but he had nothing else to take the place of her. it reminded me of NotElliot.
He believes that every love is your first love and your last love.
he doesn't remember when he lost his virginity.
he's one kinky motherfucker though.
and i have a feeling he's bi, which doesn't bother me in the least but sure as hell bothers him. he kept saying "i WISH i were bi, i'd have a lot more choices. but i'm not. you're born that way and i sure as hell wasn't." and when i turned off the recorder he was like "ok, one of those questions i said a no to a yes." but he wouldn't tell me which one.
then he turned the tables on me and tried to get some information out of me. it was working, but then NotCarrie showed up (thank you!) so i couldn't finish.
I must say it was nice to talk to a guy about stuff. even though he wasn't ALL the much of a help, it was nice to have testosterone around me. Hanging out with NotPrince last night was fun too. He gets all giddy around NotPagan, it's hilarious. And now he's been abducted by the blogging community so we are going to learn a lot more about him. He's crossed over to the good side :-)
I still have a feeling that NotElliot hooked up with NotBigMouth last night. I can't knock it out of my mind. As i told NotEmo, one reason i think i like him is because he's there. there's nothing else in my near vicinity. but then i tell myself that's not the whole reason, i like him. just plain and simple. NotPagan said that when she likes someone, she only likes them. and that's the same with me. it's not good though, especially in my current situation.

wow, this post makes up for my lack of length lately.

*sigh*

I get swoony (my new word) thinking about it, but I got to see the cowboy again yesterday. You know how sometimes you see someone again after not seeing them for awhile and you kind of wonder what you saw in them the first time? It wasn't like that at all. He was still impossibly cute, and I still felt that connection to him. He's older than I originally thought, but he's a man....a rugged "throw you down on the ground" kind of man. Can't believe I just said that, but oh well. Plotting next move even though my natural inclination is to turn bright red, bury may face, and scream giddily.

we both go down together

i swear if i don't get some action soon i will scream.
it's been far too long without any manhandling.
i don't even want to think about it happening on friday because then it won't and i'll be severely disappointed.
I HATE BEING SINGLE!

more later when i'm not so horny.

Just in case my life wasn’t even more effed up…

I’ve been doing the online thing, right….right.
I’ve been hanging out with NotSkippy, right….right.

Soooo…can someone explain to me why on the past two weekends that I have spent copious amounts of time with NotSkippy I have managed to lose what undergarments I dare wear? Why I uncovered his kink? Why he ran headlong into mine? Why all of a sudden things are a LOT different than they were when we began dating last September? Why he was happy that my first online date cancelled on me?

The only saving grace of this is Notmyfirstdate emailed and wants a do over on Sunday after I leave the Barn…

*headdesk*

NotCarrie

May I have a cup of confusing with drama on the side?

Ahh! This weekend was a whirlwind of interesting considering I had almost all of it off. Being at the Barn yesterday only served to confirm my tendency to distrust so many people. I mean I do believe NotaStewardess set a trap for us with NotBigMouth! The more I thought about it the more I thought that it was probably done to throw you off of NotElliot, i.e. he's interested in someone else...move on. Nice try dumbasses, but you're going to have to pull that one on someone more in your league. The spygirls (has a nice ring to it) of NSATC are too clever and fast on our feet for those games. (lol) In an effort to be not so cryptic on a site supposedly dedicated to not being cryptic, let me rewind and recap a bit.

....I'm not at the Barn an hour yet when NotaStewardess comes up to chat, asking if I'd heard what happened on Friday. She then proceeds to fill me in on how NotElliot and NotMargaret made out on his balcony. "Going at it" is the term she used. Long story short...I approach NotElliot about this only to hear what a crock it is. While NotaStewardess begins to spin a tale about how I misheard her, I begin to realize how effed up these people really are.

In other news, another interview is checked off the list, and I have at least 3 more scheduled for this week. I'm beginning to dread these for the kinds of information I'm finding out. I stumbled onto NotBob's kink and anal fixation last night. *sigh* There is such thing as knowing too much about someone. *sigh*

*sigh*

I'm confused and a little lonely today. Such a weird feeling to be lonely when your surrounded by friends.

Hickies & such

NotPunkRocker had a hickie last night at work. It was so cute to see her blush. Truth be told...I was jealous she was getting some (even though she has a husband). I think I'm going to take advantage of one of my interviews this Sunday and get a littl makeout action. Just a little kissing (ok, maybe a lot). I don't need any groping action or anything...just something to tide me over.

i'm a terrible person cause i've made up my mind...

i have quite a bit to post about, however i don't want to say anything just yet. for fear that the kharma of the internet will jinx any thoughtful/hopeful/hesitant ideas i have in my mind.
be patient my dears, the truth will come out soon enough :-)

Unattainable

A friend recently chose as her one word to describe me, unattainable. This has gotten me thinking. Am I unattainable in the areas of men? Drawing upon recent experiences I've come to the following conclusions:

NotRoger: Am I really not interested in pursuing a relationship with him or am I merely pulling away as he expresses interest? I've been after him for years, trying to work my ways with him so he'll want me and pursue me. Then when he "spills his guts" (his words, not mine) and says he really likes me and is so glad he met me, I stopped being as available to hang out or talk on the phone.

NotJason: Have I talked myself into wanting to be with him because in the back of my mind I knew he wasn't looking for a relationship right now

NotEveryOtherGuy: Is this why I get called a tease? I like the chase but once it's about to be real I say no. Ok, no...I think me being thought of as a tease if because I'm not a slut as often perceived. Back to the subject at hand...

These two cases provide the best evidence of me being unattainable but I have not presented the opposing case:

NotRoger: He is verging on being an alcoholic and while we definitely have the attraction factor, there's not much more there to base a real relationship on. I think its smart to cool things before we are unable to even be friends.

NotJason: I think there is more to my crush than just something to occupy my mind. There has to be. Especially since I've tried to talk myself out of it and just can't. And I can't stop talking about it even with the possibility of being embarassed which is usually enough to shut me up.


I can't conclude on this. I don't have enough experience/evidence.

Secret knowledge or secretly crap

So I've done a little catch-up reading. The latest, Superflirt, has a whole section on interpreting nonverbal cues from guys. I'm some of this complete and utter crap, but I found it interesting none-the-less. I will be incorporating some of the techniques into my spy work : )
Curious?

Signs he finds you attractive or is interested:

*raised eyebrows
*glistening/dancing eyes
*lips part
*nostrils flare
*stroke of tie or smooth lapel
*smooth or mess up his hair
*fiddle with his socks and pulls them up
*will spread legs while sitting opposite you
*stands with hands on hips
*will touch his face a lot when looking at you
*will squeeze glass or can or roll it from side to side
*will move into "cowpoke" stance

The book also talks a lot about mirroring people and how people tend to like people who move like them. I find this equally disturbing and interesting. *more later* : )

NotMiranda

The Beatles Know It

I wonder if NotJason would object to platonic hand holding...

I really just want to hold hands with someone. I dont know why as I used to be very against this. I think though, that was in high school when couples are super lame and I vowed to never be like that. But now, I want to hold hands with someone.

I love that song too. It's so simple. Mop Tops.

I am a dementor

I feel like a dementor, a bringer of doom and gloom that sucks the life out of many in its path. My sex spy duties took a turn for the worse last night during my two interviews. Great interviews, really. NotElliot, in particular, was refreshingly open and thoughtful about his answers. Unfortunately, NotElliot and NotJason (a do-over), provided information that wasn't exactly expected or welcome. That's the problem with this whole spying biz...you don't always want to know the answers you find. The gist of my doom & gloom espionage...(1) NotElliot is still fucking NotBigMouth and (2) NotJason is just NotCarrie's friend and "doesn't have time". Since when did men get as complicated as women? They're like 31 flavors of confusion. "I can't ask girls out." "I need a fuck buddy but will still flirt with others." ...and the interviews have only just begun.

fuckfuckfuck

that fucking cuntbag.
that's all i could think of on my ride home.

Power & unattainability

I got a telling lesson the other day in the power of playing it cool. In my job as sex spy numero uno, I was doing the delicate dance of arranging another interview with NotBob. When he began to question me extensively, I gave him a brief response and told him not to worry about it. "I already have enough interviews anyway." Well, this little rejection certainly got his attention. By letting him know that he wasn't needed, I increased his interest in doing it ten-fold. Not only did he email back immediately (a rarity) saying he was definitely in, he called me within minutes to arrange a time and profess his excitement. He was positively giddy. ...and I felt positively powerful. Intice man...reject man...have man eating out of hand? Not sure I by this scenario, but it is intriguing. Perhaps something to explore in future interviews (I have 2 scheduled for this evening.)

How Not to pick up a Woman...

I'm all for being chatted up. Any place just about. The grocery store, the bookstore, even the mall (as cliched as that may be). However, there is one place that I don't want to be chatted up by anyone...the gym. I am there to sweat and get out. I have a short span of time in which to workout and I don't have time to talk to some sweaty guy who has decided that the gym is the new best place to meet women. Especially, if he's just as sweaty as I am. Maybe as we're leaving the gym, but not as I'm transitioning from one weight set to the next with the lamest line ever..."Do you need a workout partner." And then proceed to ask for and get my cell phone number...because I plan to block you as soon as you call for the first time...

*headdesk*

An analytical approach to the opposite sex

While the other chicas of NSATC seem to be finding a way to play with real boys, my weekend seems to have been spent lining up ways to delve into their psyche. The sex spy (me) managed to nail down times to interview both NotElliot and NotHemingway. NotHemingway is flirty and likes to talk about sex, so he should be fun. Plus, both NotElliot and NotHemingway mentioned doing this over drinks, which should also put me at ease a little more : ) NotCarrie and I hit up NotaManager last night about an interview, and he gave us some pointers (a new question we hadn't thought of) and said he'd consider it if he could see the questions. Now that would be weird! Oh yeah, how can I forget that I may get to do the twins together...NotMarlon and NotChris.

In other news, I've decided to get up the nerve to make a bolder step toward NotTim (the cowboy). Both NotCarrie and my housemate, NotKelsey, have committed to being bold with men they're interested in and have given me the confidence to say 'what the hell'. Really...how bad can it be?

Worried about Icebreakers...well worry no longer...edit you fool, edit!!!

Recently, I've been on the prowl. The internet prowl. I've put myself out there and am looking for something (not love that's for sure), in what I hope aren't all the wrong places. I think the internet meet and greet scene is that tiny bit of anonymity that people need in order to get that awkward stage of the icebreaker out of the way.

Take for example my present situation.

I'm in conversations with about 5 men that I've met via the web. Two I've spoken to in person and two I've been playing email tag with, one I'm in the process of setting up a date with. (More on that when it happens). Since I've talked to them via the net its been possible for me to get all the awkward and slightly immature things I would say out of the way. I type them out and then before I send the email I reread said bad comments and immediately erase them and come out with something better. Its like being able to edit that final paper before you turn it in to the teacher.

I love it! And with my latest conversation I know I was right on point. I've been talking to my oldest gentlemen friend to date and so far I've managed to keep the idiot comments from slipping out and in their place have selected carefully crafted sentences that leave the listener reeling and waiting for more.

At least I hope they do...

the best time i've ever had, waiting around for something bad...

i'm about ready to give up on the whole NotElliot situation.
Mixed emotions/signs/questions are bugging the absolute CRAP out of me.
if something doesn't happen, either mo-wise or information-wise, soon i'm moving on.
last night was good, but nothing spectacular. i have all these questions going through my mind and i'm even getting tired of myself overanalyzing it.
i had a dream about NotVegas last night and i keep thinking/hoping he'll come into my workplace. he would be so easy to go back to.

Another one bites the dust

Interview #2: Complete

NotPrince (interview #2) proved just as open as interview #1 and was also willing to share pieces of his life. Talk about a completely different dating history and style...both self-professed geeks, interviews #1 and #2 are as different as night and day. NotPrince also turned out to be a lengthy interview. Even though we started at midnight, we didn't leave the restaurant until 1:30 am. If everyone is this talkative, it's going to be a long interview process. Poor NotPrince...evidently he was expecting a kinkier interview and, I believe, was a bit disappointed by my tame questions. Of course, when I started to take it down that road (strictly to placate him of course), he begin to clam up. Guess he was all talk.

I'm curious to see how open NotElliot will be. Will I have to ply him with drinks?