I am a dementor

I feel like a dementor, a bringer of doom and gloom that sucks the life out of many in its path. My sex spy duties took a turn for the worse last night during my two interviews. Great interviews, really. NotElliot, in particular, was refreshingly open and thoughtful about his answers. Unfortunately, NotElliot and NotJason (a do-over), provided information that wasn't exactly expected or welcome. That's the problem with this whole spying biz...you don't always want to know the answers you find. The gist of my doom & gloom espionage...(1) NotElliot is still fucking NotBigMouth and (2) NotJason is just NotCarrie's friend and "doesn't have time". Since when did men get as complicated as women? They're like 31 flavors of confusion. "I can't ask girls out." "I need a fuck buddy but will still flirt with others." ...and the interviews have only just begun.