Friday, November 10, 2006

Million ways to be cruel

Earlier this week I was pondering a hiatus from this blog, but how I hate the melodrama of all of those "breaks" and "hiatuses". I'm in an I don't know place with a who knows person and just want to be respectful of that relationship* but also want to be able to speak honestly and from my heart here. Let's start off lightly, shall we?

Remember NotGeorge? Well, he was in town for a series of interviews last weekend, and we wound up hanging out quite a bit. He actually got to meet all of the Nots and some other Not characters! I'll have to make sure to pinky swear him to secrecy ; ) Anyway, this post is really spurred by comment he made while sitting on the couch on Sunday. Perhaps a little detail leading up to this is necessary.

Evidently, previous comments I have made on this site and in personal conversation seem to have given me a bit of a reputation. You'll recall I admitted to being a little intrigued by a spanking episode with NotDarling. There was also my clarion call for the beastly man. I may have even admitted to wanting to get a little rough. And, if you were at NotSamatha's house for my birthday party on Saturday night and had witnessed my drunken quest for the flogger, you would probably be more than a little afraid (*blush*). All of this leads to NotGeorge's comments of Sunday afternoon. I know I'm going to get the exact wording wrong, so I'm just going to paraphrase. Basically, he made reference to my dominatrix tendencies, seemingly desire to play into a desire for pain, and something to the effect that I had the potential to hurt him.

This begs for clarification**! I am not a dominatrix. Please. The truth of the matter is that I want to be dominated just as much as I want to dominate. I have no desire to inflict real pain and am no fan of pain myself. My previous comments all come out of a desire to struggle. I wouldn't mind a little wrestling, some chase. It's more the kid in me than the vicious bitch. ; )

*Friendships are also relationships, so don't get your knickers in a twist.
**I had to clarify somewhere because I just don't know if NotGeorge got that or really thought I wanted to tie him up and beat him.


Aspiring Goddess said...

Heh...I've been THERE! I know exactly what you are talking about seeing as I am the same. I've had a few guys look at me with fear...

a giRL liKe mE said...

Please don't leave the blogosphere. Too many good bloggers disappear. I've done the same before, and couldn't stay away. Once a blogger, always a blogger!

Plus, sometimes the most uncertain times are the most interesting.

Anonymous said...

haha.. I know what you mean about liking to play rough sometimes but that certainly doesn't mean you're into S&M... geesh!

NotCarrie said...

Haha, I used to joke about bukake a lot and then forget to clarify I was JOKING.

Anonymous said...

Not a dominatrix you say? Thank goodness for that!
I always quite liked the idea of being dominated by a saucy woman clad in leather etc... untill I actually discovered what went on! Good heavens no, I much prefer to be in charge.