Friday, June 09, 2006

The beast

I should begin by saying that this post is inspired in part by Velvet's post on metrosexual men. I should also probably warn you that this post will rife with stereotypes, assumptions and will probably offend you.

I'm so over the metrosexual man. I can be a real beast and need a man with the balls and stamina to tame me. Wondering whether the man I'm flirting with is gay is no longer fun or intriguing. First, let's start with an example of NotMiranda's metrosexual man. Consider the following bullet points.

The metrosexual man...
  • spends more time getting ready than I do.
  • always has to check his hair when we pass any reflective surface.
  • cries when those Johnson & Johnson holiday commercials come on.
  • considers the head bop dancing.
  • is unwilling to make a fool of himself for the sake of fun.
  • refuses to kill bugs for me.
  • thinks Taylor from American Idol can sing.

Don't get me wrong...I do want a man with some sensitivity and a kind heart. He just also needs to...

  • have the balls to stand up to me and tell me I'm being a bitch when I am.
  • not be afraid to play a little rough when I want him to.
  • be willing to drop everything and just go at the drop of a hat.
  • consider swearing a creative use of language.
  • stick up for the underdog...even if it means getting all manly and sweaty doing it.

I'm looking for a fictional tv character like Luke or Mr. Big and hope I manage to stumble on something close sometime soon.


Lindsey said...

AMEN! I have been saying this forever. I want a man...that is manly. Not an asshole. But someone who likes hotdogs & baseball games, who wants to 'protect' me, who has a backbone and isn't wishy washy. This is all I"m asking for.

Funny thing is...I SWEAR the guy that's hitting on me now has sugar in his britches. I know it. Dammit.

Laurie (aka buggy) said...

My boyfriend and I always fight over who will get the bug. :(

Other than that, thank GOD he isn't more "girlish" than me about appearances.

I'm with ya sister, those types need to GO!

Vixen said...

They serve their purpose. They can tell you what to do to your poufy hair. lol~

I enjoy killing my own bugs---the boyfriend believes in catching them to set them free. In my estimate, they invaded my personal space, besides--catching them takes waaaay too much energy.

Isabella Snow said...

It's good to see more and more chicks proclaiming their love of men, and not these oppressed males society started producing in the late 70's.

I blame Gloria. I've blogged her silly, I'm afraid. But she deserved it, bless her militant soul.

Personally, I think fem-nazis are overly weak women who cling to other fem-nazis (and their beliefs) to give themselves a false sense of strength.

Truly strong women want truly strong men. Nothing inbetween, thanks.

I love this blog, btw. ;))

CoatMan said...

What's so good about swearing? There's nothing wrong with a little sophistication and refinement, is there?

NotSamantha said...

And the choir of women wanting manly men say "AMEN!"

NotMiranda said...

Linny - Hahaha. "sugar in his britches"

Laurie - At least he's willing to kill the bug if he loses : )

Vixen - True...purpose served. I didn't mean to come off as looking so militant when really what I want is a happy medium.

Isabella - I'm sure some women would actually consider me a femi-nazi (though I'm not). I simply believe in the rights of women. In my case, I consider myself a strong woman who wants a strong man to equally dominate the relationship.

Coatman - I definitely appreciate an articulate man. I simply ask that he not cringe when I get angry and start sounding more like a sailor than a lady. ; )

CoatMan said...

You've actually had them cringe? Goodness. Who have you been dating, vicars?

Isabella Snow said...

notmiranda - Sadly, I've been labeled a fem-nazi by nearly everyone I've ever known. Especially men. I used to correct them, but stopped a few years ago as it's made it so very easy to sort the weak. ;)

NotCarrie said...

There can be such a fine line between with all of this: sensitive/wussy, cares about looks/a girl, etc.

Adam Mordo said...

We at the Man-Blog consider metrosexuals as half-way gay. A little nudge, a gentle push and POOF! He's a fairy.

Of course all generalizations tend to be wrong (including this one) but still...

We abhor the wishy washy "sensitive guy is macho" school of thought. We say, more balls, less feelings.

Senor Beavis said...

Are you sure that Taylor is the point of contention and not just, "Thinks ANYONE from American Idol can sing?"

And speaking of swearing as an art form:

Chuckles said...

Why is it so maddeningly attractive when I witness a woman swearing like she means it?