Thursday, January 27, 2011

Take A Hint

What I wanted to say was, "Actually, you can't take a hint!"

Let's back up:

Three Days Ago...

NotMiranda and I went to one of our favorite bars that happens to be about 40 minutes away. We always have high hopes of flirting with cute guys with accents while there, but have fun even when that doesn't happen. Well, this time it happened. Oh boy did it happen.

We had been there for a bit and were maybe three drinks in when NotMiranda teased a man standing nearby for drinking a sissy drink. That led to about an hour or so of fun conversation that you'd expect at a bar where three adults are drinking. Except for our round of "Ask questions!" we partook in, I said or did nothing that led this man on. He asked for my phone number and as we exchanged those, I said I would let him know the next time we were out that way (Ya know, in a friendly way). There was no hug goodbye...no touching at all. No promise to go out with him.

The next morning he called me. And early.

That afternoon he texted me. So I wrote back and also said it was nice meeting and I would let him know the next time we went back to the bar.

And he wrote back asking me out. Or more, "Let me know if you'd like to go out." To which I replied, "I will...talk to you later."

Then a day or two later I get another text inviting me to the bar and I say I can't get out that way on work days. At this point I am trying to be nice, but not lead him on like I am going to go out with him later.

Then he asks me out for a specific date and time. Oy.

I don't like turning people down. It's really difficult for me, but at this point I had to. I can't have this bar be off limits because I am avoiding some guy. So I replied and made a joke (because that's very "me") and said no thank you, but I would let him know when we're back out that way.

Annndddd he replied saying, "Don't worry, I can take a hint."

Really? Can you?



Why is this so difficult? I feel like I was unjustly put in the position of having to be blunt. If I had been drunk and touchy at the bar then yes, I would understand the persistence, but I wasn't! I've learned the hard way not to lead guys on in a bar because it might end with you having to get the eff out of the situation, but I did not lead this guy on. I guess I'm annoyed that I was put in the position of having to step outside my comfort zone and deal with this.

~NotCarrie

7 comments:

Wynn said...

At least he gave in and got the hint. Some dudes does just NOT get it, even after weeks of toil, trying to get that stupid dude to realise that there will be no shagging up in here.

Hope is the last things that leaves, they say ;)

shecky said...

Your post is ridiculous. YOU GAVE THE GUY YOUR PHONE NUMBER. What did you expect? To quote you: "oy."

Minister D said...

Giving a guy your number does NOT say "I'm interested" when there's NOTHING else (touching, etc.) you've done to say that. It says "Let's connect cuz this was fun." Period. I'm with you girl...SMH...I truly don't understand why it's so hard. When you find out the answer to that million$ question, let me know! LOL

Anonymous said...

being MTF TG, my perspective might be a little different but, it seems to me that you gave mixed signals. I've had that happen to me. I have met someone interesting and fun to talk with and been given their phone number but, when I called, I got VM. Left a message, tried again a few days later, same thing and no call back. I had to wonder, since, in conversation I had mentioned that that same thing had happened before, and she said that it wouldn't happen with her. I wasn't thinking " gee I'd like to get her in bed", I was thinking, "she is nice, fun to be around, and I would like to see if we can develop a relationship. Bottom line, if you are not at all interested in seeing if there is a basis for a developing relationship, why give out your phone number/e-mail/etc. You sent a mixed signal, and then wondered why he called you??? Does that really make sense?

Anonymous said...

Perhaps I'm dense but, if I meet someone interesting, whether it be a bar, a mall, or the checkout line at the grocery, and have enough of a conversation where she gives me her phone number, that tells me she has an interest and hopes that I will call her. I'm not looking for one night stands and I am not desperate. I am looking to develop a relationship with a woman with similar interests and it's just as hard for a guy. I'm not pushy but it seems that if I ask a woman for her phone number and she has no interest at all, then that would be the time for her to say so, not blow me off. Why would you give someone your number and then act the way you did. Sorry, I think that's rude.

Liza said...


nice post
Kolkata escorts

Liza said...

Your post is ridiculous
Escort mumbai