iTunes slipped a real downer into the party shuffle that was driving me through my work tasks. Concentration trained on the tasks at hand, I mentally screeched to a hault when India.Arie's I am ready for love* came on. I realized that, ready or not, I don't have time for love.
The muscle knotted between my shoulder blades and the red blood vessels always visibile in my eyes these days tell of work stress and long days and nights spent working two jobs. There are emails unsent to friends I've been planning to catch up with for months, sick family to worry about in other states, dreams of creative projects and new cities I'm too tired to pursue. I've scheduled and committed myself out of a certain kind of life.
How do you go into a relationship telling someone you can love them on Wednesdays and Fridays but are pretty busy the rest of the week?
Such an incredibly sad realization.
*No judging...it's actually a beautiful song.