Monday, August 21, 2006

Where do you prefer to dine?

I was talking to a friend this weekend, and in the course of the conversation, he mentioned the fact that he didn't like going down on a woman. The few times he chose to explore those depths he found distasteful and himself on the verge of gagging. The problem is that he has found himself confronted with women who see this as an ultimatum...be willing to go down on me or hit the road. The thing is I totally get his issue with it. Hell, the idea of doing that makes me* shudder so why should he think it any more pleasant. Granted, I've never** had a guy go down on me, so maybe I don't know what seven wonders of the world I'm missing. I just feel like there are plenty of ways to satisfy me other than that. My opinion aside, I'm really curious to hear from all of you. Is a guy's willingness to do the dive a make or break for you?


*Strictly dickly my dears.
**A old friend really wanted to, but I just couldn't bear to let him. I started laughing.

50 comments:

NotCarrie said...

Ew! I just 'got' the title!

Hahahah!

NotCarrie said...

Oh, and remember when Charlotte met that guy who known for his "skills" down there? I have a friend like that. I do NOT know from experience, but he totally has the reputation of being "The Best." Ha.

hagrin said...

I don't think I could date a woman who wouldn't let me "dine". And that's like the only episode of SaTC that I actually remember watching - the guy eating the fruit who was a "dining" master haha.

I'll wait to see how the rest of these comments go before I see what levels of dining disclosure are acceptable haha.

NotMiranda said...

I'm not opposed to letting a guy "dine" (thanks, Hagin...hahaha). It just seems more intimate to me than other things.

NCTRNL said...

I definitely enjoy doing it if the setting is right. Now there are things that make it less than desirable. I just find that a lot of women are completely ashamed of that...part...of themselves and don't want a guy that close to it. It can be enjoyable but it can also be bad if you can't be comfortable and trust the person.

Shannon said...

Dining down under was never a make or break element for me (not that it's relevant anymore since I'm married).

I've had guys that were willing and to tell you the truth, I think it's overrated.

I think it's something where women either love it or can do without it altogether.

Dancing Diva said...

! well -- i think it's so sexy when a guy just dines w/out an invitiation, should naturally progress to the full meal status. but i would never outright tell someone, hey if you don't eat, beat it.
notmiranda -- next time - let him have a taste, i'm *sure* you'll enjoy it!

fuzzymuffin said...

I'm too ticklish! I just crack up laughing!

NotCarrie said...

Fuzzymuffin- Hahhaa, I hear ya!

NotMiranda said...

Dancing Diva, you made me blush : )

Paige Jennifer said...

It isn't a deal breaker as long as he is okay living the rest of his life without a blowjob (which we all know he won't agree to). People - sex is about give and take and I'm not parting with my share of taking in exchange for some giving.

middlegirl said...

here's how i view it:

it's about what you're giving to the other person and how much they enjoy it.

I'd venture to guess that a large majority of the population are not HUGE fans of the act, but of the RESPONSE to the act.

oh and i'm all about proper reciprocation for acts.

Jordan said...

Personally, it wouldn't be a deal breaker to me.. however, don't ask for what you don't give. With that said, I've never had anyone refuse (not that I asked).. but they are just willing. I have to tell you though.. I worked several years as an ob/gyn nurse and dude, I wouldn't touch most of the stuff I see with someone else's pole. Some woman are just gross.. so maybe that's the kind of luck he's had.

Andrea said...

I think it's all in knowing what you want. And you must know what you want and what you're comofortable doing.

If after trying it in a comfortable situation with someone you trust (and is hopefully skilled), and if you like it, well then, you know that that will be on the menu with future beaus. Or rather, he who you will deem 'the one'.

I think it's as simple as that. Not to be so technical, but I think it's much harder for a woman to reach orgasm than a man, and oral stimulation helps faciliate this. AND some men (hagrin???) are just orally fixated (god bles them);)

Good luck!

Chuckles said...

The thing that really bugs some people is the sense of obligation involved. That is not right. I don't go down on a lady to ensure that she'll reciprocate. I jst do it because I can and it drives a lot of people crazy wild which is really the point. You're in bed with someone for the fun of it, so have fun with it. This may seem old hat, but it is called a vagina. If you have a problem with that, maybe you should read or watch the Vagina Monologues which is on HBO and Netflix.

NotCarrie said...

No, the best is Va-jay-jay from Grey's Anatomy:)

Jordan said...

I think we know the name for it.. but for me, I'll call it whatever I feel like calling it :-)

Jordan said...

and ps.. Va Jay Jay is the best!!! haha.. that scene CRACKED me up... "stop looking at my va jay jay!"

Freckled K said...

I'm a fan of the oral...the giving and the receiving. If I were dating a guy who didn't want to go anywhere near the Kitten, I would question his capacity for intimacy, and his true sexual interest in me. That said, it does take me some time to get to the level where I am willing to do The Job -- I really have to be really into the other person to be really into IT.

Andrea said...

I'm sorry...I just can't get past freckled k's picture and the comment. It took me completely off guard! Still laughing.

Karinaxoxo said...

I agree - if he doesnt want to - thats fine...but he can't expect his girl to 'dine' on him!

Irish Red said...

Well - for the right guy I could learn to live without it i suppose. But show me a guy who would be willing to live without blowjobs the rest of his life!

But I know a lot of girls that dont like it - granted these girls have never experienced an orgasim either....so....

The Glitterati said...

Strictly dickly!!! Hahaha!!!

I have let willing boyfriends venture south before, and it's... whatever, you know? There are other things I find more enticing. But maybe that's because I'm a misguided little female with a fragile ego and poor sense of self-vaginal-worth. Maybe the boy was just bad at it. Or maybe it'll just take that one explosive experience to convert me.

Clearly, I'd never dump a guy just because he refused to perform that one act on me, so long as he makes me happily explosive in other ways. I wouldn't deny him the experience either, if he really wanted to do it. I know that sometimes, *I* really want to "dine under" myself, and it'd be pretty frustrating if a guy denied me that. (But really, what man says "no" to that???)

Ryane said...

HAHAHAHa. Strictly dickly is hilarious!! I am w/Freckled K--I have to really be into someone before I will let them get a case of cat scratch fever. But I DEFinitely enjoy 'dining'...it is something everyone should enjoy.

Also, I agree with Jordan that a lot of women (and hello, men!!) don't know about the couresty trim and that's just wrong!! (Who wants to paw through a year's growth of hair to find the intended target?? ew.)

I say go for it. 'Dining' down there--with the right person, is...well...let's just be obvious and say it is divine...;-)

hagrin said...

@andrea -

Yeah, you can definitely call it an oral fixation haha! I'm really shocked to read how so many of you don't see it as a deal breaker - seriously floored. Although, that might be more your "dining" history than it is your adverseness to fine cuisine.

PS - I really want ice cream now for some reason.

Andrea said...

To be clear...it is a deal breaker for me!

NotCarrie said...

I can no long call dinner "dining".

NotSamantha said...

Whooo! I missed this burning up over the web.

NotMiranda, I didn't know you had it in you. And I'm going to let that line hang.

I'm in agreement with most I think when I say reciprocity is the name of the game. NotSkippy was not a fan of oral giving or getting (which should have set off more alarms than it did), and since I have a fixation of the oral type (read - the soda can joke) it matters to me. For me its an ultimate sign of giving and recieving pleasure from my partner. And I've had it from both men and women, and I've enjoyed them both immensely. A partner that isn't into it, eventually loses some of their appeal because for me when I'm giving O's to someone, one of them will definately come from my mouth being on them. And if not, then they had better hope the sound of my voice does it for them.

Clueless said...

i came across someone once whose forte was that. Making up for other irregularities shall we say. What a shame because the whole diving thing does not do so much for me as it does for some no matter how skilled they claim to be. Meh.

I've heard though from a few guy friends, horror stories about women with bad hygeine, women who don't stop to consider they're on their period, all sorts. UGh. Equally, lads should consider the whole hygeine thing too!

al said...

there are certainly better times than others...periods! oh god!

i used to be a little self concious too, but, one great partner showed me what i was missing.

no one should be ashamed of what they like or don't like. but, i guess, the point is to experiment so that you know what exactly it is that you like or don't like.

myboyfriendiscrazy said...

It's definitely not a make/break for me; I'm pretty satisfied with sex and manual stimulation. It might bother me a little if he was violently opposed to the idea, just out of the principle of it (and especially if I'm expected to go down on him).

But then again, I haven't received mind-blowing oral sex before ;) Not that it wasn't good.

mean girls said...

I will say the deal breaker for me would be the messy eater. I have had that before. UGH!!

I'm not a big fan of giving bj's until the end. I have never been a fan of any bodily fluids.

Sweepea said...

I agree with paigejennifer. If he won't go down there than he better not expect any BJ's.

And NotMiranda - I agree, it IS more intimate than all the other stuff.

Beth said...

When I saw the title of this post, I honestly thought...how in the world could you be without dining options in DC? And then I read further...LOL!

I definitely agree with a few other people that it's something you're either going to love or hate. I really don't see how there could be any middle ground. Ha. On one hand...you don't know unless you try it. (I personally can't stand it..but other women love it). The majority of guys I know are obsessed with it. But honestly, it's up to you. I give you a lot of credit for controlling the situation. Only do it if it feels right to you...don't let a guy just talk you into it..unless you're really curious. But who knows, it may end up feeling great.

implict said...

its all about reciprocity. i don't refuse to do it, i just don't like being asked to do so. i'll do it in my own time, and hopefully i will do it well. no complaints yet;)

NotMiranda said...

You guys crack me up! And don't get me wrong, this is a road I am more than willing to let someone travel (not just anyone) but also don't see it as a deal breaker.

Ivy said...

Did you have to say dine?

Jordan said...

so much depends on whether they received a degree at muff diving university .. because there's times when you have to say.. "ok that's enough.. come back up"

NotSamantha said...

I'm with you Jordan. You would think that they realize that with this "food" biting into it is never a good thing. However, playing with your food will be rewarded.

NotCarrie said...

Haha, Ivy!

hagrin said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
NotCarrie said...

Am I going to have to stop reading the comments?;)

Jordan said...

I always shivered at the word "eat" when used in connection with this topic... if you're really 'eating', then I don't want any part of it...

*shiver*

NotCharlotte said...

This is my kind of diet!

NotCarrie said...

Jordan- I totally agree. I don't care if it makes me a prude, but I'm not a fan of some of the lingo.

mean girls said...

It's not a deal breaker for me, but whatever you call it, when it's good, it's good. And this one time, in college, it was really, really good more than a few times! He was a conisseuir (sp?).

~Maggie

NotCarrie said...

Sorry, I like prime numbers.

Mela said...

Oh, girl, let him dine like mad, a good man loves a good pussy.

So glad you girls are reading, good to know that we're mutual fans.

Spill The Beans said...

To me, oral is the most intimate thing. I can't imagine giving or receiving from someone I wasn't in a serious relationship with.

I would wonder about a guy who absolutely wouldn't, though. The perfect guy for me needs to be willing to try new things. An adventurous spirit, so to speak. I also want someone who will make an effort to please and who isn't too squeamish. My guy really enjoys giving and receiving pleasure, so he's a perfect fit for me.

4 of Hearts said...

It is not a deal breaker but I don't turn it down unless it is the wrong time! I agree, it is not always the most enjoyable and I could live with or without but there have been one or two individuals that definitely made it worthwhile. They were definitely "The Best". When you find those it is hard to say no!