Tuesday, August 22, 2006

And After Dinner...dessert!!!

Okay, I can't even begin to follow up a post like the one from NotMiranda, so I'm not going to try.

However, the question she asked got me to thinking about where we draw the line in our quest to meet that certain someone. What are the dealbreakers? I mean choosing to dine below the equator or not is one thing, but what about the others. For example, typically, for me body hair is a deal breaker, and we all know my thing about kids...So in the spirit of what you can accept and what you can't accept and what you flat out won't even touch, what breaks the dating deal for you?


NotCharlotte said...

The major dealbreaker for me is if they're shorter than me.


Or if they have no sense of humor at all. I dated a guy once and I'd try to joke around with him and he took everything SO SERIOUSLY it was hard for me to have a conversation with him.

Jordan said...

Drugs of any kind.. that's a deal breaker.
Excessive alcohol use. Stupidity.
Needing Anger Mgt.
Shorter than me.
No teeth.

Yeah, those are deal breakers.

NotCarrie said...

I think if I were on a date and he started telling me any of the following I would have to take a restroom break and leave through the window:
-I used to be a woman
-I'm a Nazi
-I require 3somes
-I hate my mom
-I hate deoderant. I like my natural BO.

Anonymous said...

Definite dealbreaker is a guy with no class. This dude asked me to dinner with his friends. Even his best friend thought he was paying for me. Not only did he NOT pay for me, but he told me I owed $60 when I didn't even eat $60 worth of food! To add insult to injury, he made some reference to his friend about the last time he was at that very restaurant, he had sex in the bathroom. Makes me wonder what kind of upbringing he had...

trueborn said...

For me, it's bad teeth.
Not excessively bad or anything, they have to be like Austin Powers bad.

Being fake or obsessed with money.
If se asks how much money I make and what car I drive, it's a clue to me that the man behind these facts may mean less that the facts themselves.

Oh and if she has a mustache.....

hagrin said...

Deal breakers from the guy side -

* If she's taller than me (5' 11").
* If she's unable to carry a conversation about something other than celebrities and fashion.
* If she smokes.

That's about it.

NotCharlotte said...

Jordan- i completely agree with you on all fronts... drugs/alcoholic is just a given for me :-)

Trueborn- I HATE BAD TEETH! An old coworker of mine had a thing for me and when someone called him "Tic Tac Teeth" i finally realized what I didn't like about him.

Hagrin- totally forgot about smoking... ewwwww.

NotCarrie said...

Don't make the tall girls have bad posture, Hagrin;)

NotSamantha said...

Whoa....I feel required to add my own deal breakers to the growing masses.

-no sense of humor
-excessive body hair
-inability to act like an adult (its one thing to joke around, its quite another to make me feel like you need a diaper change and a bottle)

Karinaxoxo said...

I agree with Anon - No Class is a def dealbreaker.
Also anyone who didnt have a stabel/proper job or some type - not in a materialistic way...just beacuse I believe a job is an important part of life.
Shorter than me too.
Really bad dress sense - I know that is also shallow...but it is just such a turn off.

Ms. Stylesse said...

being an absolute JERK is a dealbreaker for me. oh, and bad breath. been there, done that.

Dan said...

unshaved legs

jo said...

bad breath / BO
bad teeth
drug user
being just an asshole in general

fuzzymuffin said...

Me and my boyfriend were out with his mate, John, who is obsessed with sex and women but never gets either because he is too coked out to even notice women exist.

Anyway, we were discussing how far you would go in bed for someone i.e. would you piss/shit on them? John was up for most of our suggestions so we finally said "well, what wouldn't you do for a girl in bed?" he thought for a minute then said "I wouldn't cut her legs off."

Still makes me laugh.

Me said...

I swear I have been with a man who doesn't like blow jobs. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. I LOVE giving blow jobs..so that was NOT good at all.
See, I kind of like a hairy chest...yummy.
But real dealbreakers?
Someone who is not kind, has no sense of humor, drugs, stupidity, angry,can't express himself....pretty standard stuff I think.

Freckled K said...

Poor manners and/or a bad tipper are dealbreakers. But the biggest dealbreaker of all (and not for the squeamish):

Snorting his runny nose back up into his sinuses. I don't even know what that's called, but it sounds like a cat coughing up a hairball, but in reverse.

Shannon said...

Theoretically, deal breakers would be:

Dirty fingernails.
Long fingernails.
Shorter than me.
Bad temper.
Someone who brags about themselves or what they have.

NotMiranda said...

Thinking about this made me realize I may be too tolerant. Mean, stupid men who smell?

Johnny said...

i actually "lost" interest in a girl because she called me up at 1am and wanted to talk til 5am.

I say "lost" because I probably still woulda boned her.


reluctant dater said...

the young RD thought that she had "dealbreakers" until she met a "man" who possessed all of the things she thought she'd never want (a kid, an extra seven years on her, a failed marriage) and realized that dealbreakers were holding her back. in that case, they should've...though, the demise of that relationship had less to do with the baggage and more to do with the fact he was/is an ass.

NotCarrie said...

I'm really trying NOT to have a list of negatives to watch out for. I guess maybe as long as I don't say them outloud I'm not limiting myself, haha.

hagrin said...

@notcarrie -

Nope, the tall girls should keep their great posture - good posture is actually really attractive and makes or breaks some people for me on first glance. I'll just stick to the 5'8" and under crowd (to accomodate for heels).

NotCarrie said...

Hagrin- Ha, ok. Maybe we should do a height poll around here.

Washington Cube said...

Tons of things: Lying, excessive body hair, too short, too heavy, self-absorbed, slob, player (not Playaz)....well..you can go on and on.

Dancing Diva said...

no too many dealbreakers on the looks, i'm a shorty so never had the shorter than me problemo.
total dealbreakers:
-inability to take care of self
-lack of humor
-excessively materialistic

GrewUpRural said...

Dealbreakers for me:

Shorter than me
Excessive drinking/smoking
Shows no respect towards his parents especially his mother.
No sense of humor
Video game addict

Jordan said...

looks like we all agree on the shorter than we are category. I'm 5'3.. if I date anyone shorter than me, he either doesn't have legs or he's 6.

The Glitterati said...

Also agree on the "shorter than me" thing: I am 5' 7" and I live in heels. Shallow, I know, but it matters. Lying is also a no-no, at least on important issues. Thought body-hair would be a dealbreaker, but apparently, it's not even close. I bare(ha!)-ly even notice it.

Senor Beavis said...

Lack of social poise. Namely, can I trust someone to be in control of themselves and take reponsibility for their actions when I'm there or not there. As I've said before, no one wants "Drunk Girl" from SNL. (Or someone who sleeps with her exes and says, "It just happened.")

Being horribly passive-aggressive. I can't read minds and it's not my fault when I don't. Just say what you want.

Not being able to tell the truth about stuff that isn't that important. I hate smoking, but it's not a dealbreaker if the person has enough going for them on the plus side. However, it's happened to me a few times that they'll say they don't smoke and they do. If you can't tell the truth about that, then why should I believe anything you say about anything much more important.

If high school was the best time of your life.

Also, sleeping in the same bed as an entire band. (It's a sad commentary on my dating history that I have to include that.)

And having kids. :)

NotCarrie said...

Haha, no legs or 6. HA!

I don't want to say never to someone shorter than me, especally in heels because I'd be cutting out a lot of potentials, but oh how I love a tall guy. Having to look up is awesome.

Sweepea said...

I can't stand a man who cries. I don't care how sad the movie is or who died. But that's just because of a past experience of mine. ;-)

emma said...

A total dealbreaker for me is motorcycles. Never again am I gonna visit a man in an ER because of his stupid toy nearly killing him.

K said...

This is totally unrelated, but I saw on a billboard for that new show with the guy from "Everybody Loves Raymond" (the big older brother) and it said "Welcome to No Sex and the City" and I literally dropped my jaw and shouted "they stole that!!!"

Jos said...

bad breath
bad manners

jo said...

i used to say that shorter than me was sorta a dealbreaker... but then i've decided that if everything else bout the guy is great and if he's just a tad shorter than me, i think it's still okay. as long as he isn't really really short and doesn't have a problem with a girl who is taller...

Beau said...

Deal breakers for me (guy's perspective):

Shorter than 5'6" (I'm 6'6" and it just gets a bit awkward below a certain point)
Lack of intellectual curiousity (please read and have an opinion on something more than US Weekly)
Little whisker mustaches (dated a girl once with little blond whiskers, I didn't know whether to say anything about it but I didn't like it)
Is close to my weight (Odds are they aren't near my height, they shouldn't be near my weight)
Can't wait to move out of the city into the suburbs/small town

NotCarrie said...

Beau- 6'6" is hott.

Chuckles said...

Not heavier than me. I weigh 225, so that is not a big deal.

Not overly needy. I don't need 47 text messages a day when you don't have anything meaningful to say and neither do I.

I prefer women over 5'6" for the same reason as others have mentioned, I am 6'3" and it is hard to tango with a shorty.

NotCharlotte said...

Well, so far it sounds to me like we all shouldn't be single...

HAGRIN! We need a status report ;-)

Ryane said...

Scraggly finger nails. Ick. Yuck. Gross. Nothankyou. And, I agree w/Jordan: Stupidity ranks pretty high up there. Also, a man that doesn't like animals is pretty much out for me.

hagrin said...

@notcharlotte -

I'm actually still working on that idea I had a while back, but with the NYC Half Marathon this weekend, I have been too busy training to really sit down and code/design/think.

@notcarrie -

Yes, you should definitely do a height survey and what the perfect height difference really is. Heels are such a difference maker - my ex was tiny when she was bare foot, but once she threw on those 4" boots, she transformed into an amazon.

Spill The Beans said...

Stuff that I could not deal with:

*I have kids, so they are part of the package. If he can't deal with that, he's gone.

*Bad breath/bad hygiene.

*Bad temper.

*No sense of humor.

*A guy who doesn't read, and isn't interested in learning new things.

*A guy who's a downer or who always complains (one guy spent an hour over lunch complaining about a trip to New Zealand). Dude...wtf? I can have fun in friggin' Cleveland.

*A guy with no sense of romance.

*Dumb guys.

Oh, and I don't do older guys. BTDT, have the souvenirs, and I'd rather go to Cleveland.

Jordan said...

I never really realized the height difference between me and ex husband. He was 6'5 and I'm 5'3.. until I looked at our photos years later. Seriously when I was in the photos with him, the kids and his family members, I blended in with the kids. We never did have height issues with each other. It was good to have him around (I can't see on top of the refridgerator without standing on a chair). haha

Clueless said...

Hi, drugs, guys who are attached (girlfriend, wife whatever), people who put me down or make me feel bad about myself (a given), someone being far shorter than me (I can't help that I am so tall), really bad breath, overkeenness (you know, the needy desperate to hook up type chase you around the room keenness), agro guys (agree with Jordan on that one), speaking to me like I'm a hooker (believe it or not, come across that!), guys who hit on my friends.. jeez I sound like I'm hard to please but hey, most of these are normal aren't they?

Clueless said...

Beau, I'm with NotCarrie, tall men are HOTT.

Hagrin, darn that leaves me out of the running ;) heh heh

Irish Red said...

I just defined dealbreaker in my blog and submitted it to the Urban Dictionary - check it out :)

The Deal Breaker:
A deal breaker is ‘the catch’ that a particular individual cannot overlook and ultimately outweighs any redeeming quality the individual may possess.

Known examples include: marital status, children, a combination of married AND has children, a criminal record, etc.

ChickyBabe said...

Any bad hygiene. It shows he can't take care of himself for a start!