Okay, I can't even begin to follow up a post like the one from NotMiranda, so I'm not going to try.
However, the question she asked got me to thinking about where we draw the line in our quest to meet that certain someone. What are the dealbreakers? I mean choosing to dine below the equator or not is one thing, but what about the others. For example, typically, for me body hair is a deal breaker, and we all know my thing about kids...So in the spirit of what you can accept and what you can't accept and what you flat out won't even touch, what breaks the dating deal for you?
38 comments:
The major dealbreaker for me is if they're shorter than me.
Seriously.
Or if they have no sense of humor at all. I dated a guy once and I'd try to joke around with him and he took everything SO SERIOUSLY it was hard for me to have a conversation with him.
Drugs of any kind.. that's a deal breaker.
Excessive alcohol use. Stupidity.
Needing Anger Mgt.
Obnoxious.
Shorter than me.
No teeth.
Yeah, those are deal breakers.
I think if I were on a date and he started telling me any of the following I would have to take a restroom break and leave through the window:
-I used to be a woman
-I'm a Nazi
-I require 3somes
-I hate my mom
-I hate deoderant. I like my natural BO.
Definite dealbreaker is a guy with no class. This dude asked me to dinner with his friends. Even his best friend thought he was paying for me. Not only did he NOT pay for me, but he told me I owed $60 when I didn't even eat $60 worth of food! To add insult to injury, he made some reference to his friend about the last time he was at that very restaurant, he had sex in the bathroom. Makes me wonder what kind of upbringing he had...
For me, it's bad teeth.
Not excessively bad or anything, they have to be like Austin Powers bad.
Being fake or obsessed with money.
If se asks how much money I make and what car I drive, it's a clue to me that the man behind these facts may mean less that the facts themselves.
Oh and if she has a mustache.....
Jordan- i completely agree with you on all fronts... drugs/alcoholic is just a given for me :-)
Trueborn- I HATE BAD TEETH! An old coworker of mine had a thing for me and when someone called him "Tic Tac Teeth" i finally realized what I didn't like about him.
Hagrin- totally forgot about smoking... ewwwww.
Don't make the tall girls have bad posture, Hagrin;)
Whoa....I feel required to add my own deal breakers to the growing masses.
-kids
-no sense of humor
-excessive body hair
-inability to act like an adult (its one thing to joke around, its quite another to make me feel like you need a diaper change and a bottle)
I agree with Anon - No Class is a def dealbreaker.
Also anyone who didnt have a stabel/proper job or some type - not in a materialistic way...just beacuse I believe a job is an important part of life.
Shorter than me too.
Really bad dress sense - I know that is also shallow...but it is just such a turn off.
smoking
snoring
republicanism
unshaved legs
Me and my boyfriend were out with his mate, John, who is obsessed with sex and women but never gets either because he is too coked out to even notice women exist.
Anyway, we were discussing how far you would go in bed for someone i.e. would you piss/shit on them? John was up for most of our suggestions so we finally said "well, what wouldn't you do for a girl in bed?" he thought for a minute then said "I wouldn't cut her legs off."
Still makes me laugh.
Sexually?
I swear I have been with a man who doesn't like blow jobs. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. I LOVE giving blow jobs..so that was NOT good at all.
See, I kind of like a hairy chest...yummy.
But real dealbreakers?
Someone who is not kind, has no sense of humor, drugs, stupidity, angry,can't express himself....pretty standard stuff I think.
Poor manners and/or a bad tipper are dealbreakers. But the biggest dealbreaker of all (and not for the squeamish):
Snorting his runny nose back up into his sinuses. I don't even know what that's called, but it sounds like a cat coughing up a hairball, but in reverse.
Theoretically, deal breakers would be:
Dirty fingernails.
Long fingernails.
Shorter than me.
Bad temper.
Someone who brags about themselves or what they have.
Thinking about this made me realize I may be too tolerant. Mean, stupid men who smell?
i actually "lost" interest in a girl because she called me up at 1am and wanted to talk til 5am.
I say "lost" because I probably still woulda boned her.
:p
the young RD thought that she had "dealbreakers" until she met a "man" who possessed all of the things she thought she'd never want (a kid, an extra seven years on her, a failed marriage) and realized that dealbreakers were holding her back. in that case, they should've...though, the demise of that relationship had less to do with the baggage and more to do with the fact he was/is an ass.
I'm really trying NOT to have a list of negatives to watch out for. I guess maybe as long as I don't say them outloud I'm not limiting myself, haha.
Hagrin- Ha, ok. Maybe we should do a height poll around here.
Tons of things: Lying, excessive body hair, too short, too heavy, self-absorbed, slob, player (not Playaz)....well..you can go on and on.
Dealbreakers for me:
Shorter than me
Excessive drinking/smoking
Shows no respect towards his parents especially his mother.
No sense of humor
Video game addict
looks like we all agree on the shorter than we are category. I'm 5'3.. if I date anyone shorter than me, he either doesn't have legs or he's 6.
Also agree on the "shorter than me" thing: I am 5' 7" and I live in heels. Shallow, I know, but it matters. Lying is also a no-no, at least on important issues. Thought body-hair would be a dealbreaker, but apparently, it's not even close. I bare(ha!)-ly even notice it.
Lack of social poise. Namely, can I trust someone to be in control of themselves and take reponsibility for their actions when I'm there or not there. As I've said before, no one wants "Drunk Girl" from SNL. (Or someone who sleeps with her exes and says, "It just happened.")
Being horribly passive-aggressive. I can't read minds and it's not my fault when I don't. Just say what you want.
Not being able to tell the truth about stuff that isn't that important. I hate smoking, but it's not a dealbreaker if the person has enough going for them on the plus side. However, it's happened to me a few times that they'll say they don't smoke and they do. If you can't tell the truth about that, then why should I believe anything you say about anything much more important.
If high school was the best time of your life.
Also, sleeping in the same bed as an entire band. (It's a sad commentary on my dating history that I have to include that.)
And having kids. :)
Haha, no legs or 6. HA!
I don't want to say never to someone shorter than me, especally in heels because I'd be cutting out a lot of potentials, but oh how I love a tall guy. Having to look up is awesome.
I can't stand a man who cries. I don't care how sad the movie is or who died. But that's just because of a past experience of mine. ;-)
A total dealbreaker for me is motorcycles. Never again am I gonna visit a man in an ER because of his stupid toy nearly killing him.
This is totally unrelated, but I saw on a billboard for that new show with the guy from "Everybody Loves Raymond" (the big older brother) and it said "Welcome to No Sex and the City" and I literally dropped my jaw and shouted "they stole that!!!"
smoker
bad breath
bad manners
insensitive
i used to say that shorter than me was sorta a dealbreaker... but then i've decided that if everything else bout the guy is great and if he's just a tad shorter than me, i think it's still okay. as long as he isn't really really short and doesn't have a problem with a girl who is taller...
Beau- 6'6" is hott.
Not heavier than me. I weigh 225, so that is not a big deal.
Not overly needy. I don't need 47 text messages a day when you don't have anything meaningful to say and neither do I.
I prefer women over 5'6" for the same reason as others have mentioned, I am 6'3" and it is hard to tango with a shorty.
Well, so far it sounds to me like we all shouldn't be single...
HAGRIN! We need a status report ;-)
Scraggly finger nails. Ick. Yuck. Gross. Nothankyou. And, I agree w/Jordan: Stupidity ranks pretty high up there. Also, a man that doesn't like animals is pretty much out for me.
Stuff that I could not deal with:
*I have kids, so they are part of the package. If he can't deal with that, he's gone.
*Bad breath/bad hygiene.
*Bad temper.
*No sense of humor.
*A guy who doesn't read, and isn't interested in learning new things.
*A guy who's a downer or who always complains (one guy spent an hour over lunch complaining about a trip to New Zealand). Dude...wtf? I can have fun in friggin' Cleveland.
*A guy with no sense of romance.
*Dumb guys.
Oh, and I don't do older guys. BTDT, have the souvenirs, and I'd rather go to Cleveland.
I never really realized the height difference between me and ex husband. He was 6'5 and I'm 5'3.. until I looked at our photos years later. Seriously when I was in the photos with him, the kids and his family members, I blended in with the kids. We never did have height issues with each other. It was good to have him around (I can't see on top of the refridgerator without standing on a chair). haha
I just defined dealbreaker in my blog and submitted it to the Urban Dictionary - check it out :)
The Deal Breaker:
A deal breaker is ‘the catch’ that a particular individual cannot overlook and ultimately outweighs any redeeming quality the individual may possess.
Known examples include: marital status, children, a combination of married AND has children, a criminal record, etc.
Any bad hygiene. It shows he can't take care of himself for a start!
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