Sunday, May 07, 2006

Subconscious Kissing

I keep having first kiss dreams. The kind where the subconscious scene is what would make the near perfect reality. Where it's perfect but awkward at the same time and there is the moment where someone leans in and somehow it works. And after a moment someone finally breaks away because it's too soon to know each other's subtle kissing cues. But just for a quick reassesment because neither person wants it to end and maybe this time the other person leans in.

I keep having these first kiss dreams and they're the kind where I not only remember them clearly the next day but I swear they're haunting me. Why can't I just have a sex dream like normal people and wake up and say, "Hmmm, I just banged Mr. JT" and then go on with my day and forget it before I remember to tell anyone. But no, I have to dream of these perfect little moments and then relive them all day long because for some reason everything reminds me of them.

And the worst part is, I'm not dreaming of some celebrity or of a person with a nameless face. That wouldn't be a big deal. That wouldn't stick with me all day long. But no, my subconscious kissing partner keeps being the same face and each time I have this dream (we're going on a handful of times now) it's like throwing a wrench in an otherwise well-working operation. I know it sounds melodramatic to be making a big deal about these first kiss dreams but it's like my resting mind is mocking me and calling me a liar. "You can't be over him! You're dreaming about him!" and then I wake up and go through my day wondering not only what my dreams mean but also what those kisses would mean in real life and are they ever possible and would they be as perfect as in my dream and then...and then I realize the wrench has been thrown and all bets are off and I have to give in and be a girly girl for awhile and daydream and let myself wonder.

Wondering sucks. Wondering is like pressing your nose against the window from the wrong side of the party.


Nicholas said...


pookalu said...

yeah, once i had the hottest dream about kissing my ex. so memorable that i still remember it.

and then ...of course, i woke up.

i need to kiss someone. damn.

middlegirl said...

i dream every night. And at least once a week dream of kissing. Sometimes, people I know, sometimes, complete strangers.

it's odd. But I figure it's just my subconcious making up for lack-there-of in real life.

they're dreams... just enjoy.

TheBarmaid said...

NotCarrie -- I think we are NotSoulmates. This just happened to me last night. And pretty much ruined my whole day, as I had the hottest dream ever about Leon who I should actually hate for layers upon layers of reasons.

jo said...

oh man... i've had such dreams too. and variations of those dreams include when the guy tells me he likes me back and it's just that perfect moment of realising he does like me. it's always the same guy. and for a moment after i wake up, the lines between reality and dreamscape is blurred. until i realise that it didn't really happen which makes me kinda sad. then i spend the rest of the day thinking bout what the dream meant. and how maybe this proves that i'm not really over him afterall.

Vixen said...

Damn your subconscious is really overactive! Although, I do occasionally dream like that but the kisses eventually lead to some kind of off the wall, black & red sex.

Don't sweat it--it's just a series of dreams. You could try kissing Ex to see if he lives up to the Dream Kisses but I highly doubt that would work. In fact, he might totally suck compared to Dream Kisses.

Because Dream Kisses are soooo much Hotter!!

NotCarrie said...

Nicholas- hahaha right back at ya! ;)

Pookalu- Ditto (kiss someone)

Middlegirl- Yeah I'm glad some part of me is getting some kisses. haha!

Barmaid- I'm so glad I'm not the only one! In addition to the dreams about someone not horrible, I've had it about The One I Should Hate, too=/

Jo- Exactly! Sure, they're "just dreams" but they still make you think.

Vixen- Haha can't just go kissing my dream kissee in real life. Sure, I'd end up with some crazy blogs from it but it would be horrible in a "I made everything weird" way.

Ashburnite said...

it's not wierd that you're having them- I have them all the time about "Cute Boss" and "Preppy Co-Worker." they aren't just aobut the kiss, but about how it of us giving the other a certain look, someone saying something flirty, etc. And they definitely haunt me a lot more than sex dreams do. It's probably why I'm so obsessed with Preppy right now.

NotCarrie said...

Ashburnite- I'm glad you understand and that's the problem, I don't WANT to be thinking obsessivley about this person:(

Ashburnite said...

oh...wish I could help. At least mine is someone I don't mind obsessing over- we have been engaging in some innocent flirting, so it's all good. The problem for me tho is keeping my big mouth shut- some of the girls in the office know about my crush.