Hot Night Crash

So i got in a fender-bender today. NOthing serious, i just wasn't paying attention and rear ended the car in front of me. I didn't make any marks on their car.
The lady in the car was UBER nice, I mean she joked about it like "you wrecked my mercedes" as she wiped some dirt off the back bumper of her honda.
But why couldn't it have been a hot guy? I mean seriously. We would have both pulled into the CVS parking lot, locked eyes, and then traded a bit more than insurance information... if you know what I mean.
This weekend I'm going to New Jersey with NotHusband, which I am looking forward to. What I am not looking forward to is us going to a bar in NJ and him collecting all of my attention so I can't flirt with hot mafia guys and make them buy me drinks.
Last Saturday we went to my place of business so I could change my schedule for said trip, as well as flirt with the cute guys there. Before we went in I go "make sure you don't act like my boyfriend" and he was like "alright, but I never do..."
I didn't feel like explaining to him that when he's with me, it's like we're a couple because that's just how he acts.
He proceeded to stay as far away from me as possible in the store and I believe I bruised his ego, but oh well.
Then he furthered my annoyance at him. As we left, I told him which one NotElvis was and he was like "oh. him? hm." and made a face.
That little fucker.

I know I complain about him a lot and I'm sure you ask yourself "NotCharlotte, then why are you friends with him and hang out with him constantly?"
Because honestly, I have a good time with him when:
a. there are no men around
b. we do what he wants to do
c. i drive the car.

i'm kidding. I just have to accept that he, like quite a few of my friends, is very self-centered. He just happens to fit that category more than most.