Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Building a love shack

Don't ask me why I was even thinking about whether or not I would shack up with a boyfriend when the current prospect has just flown the coop. I actually think it was spurred by a friend who was talking about wanting to move in with her current boyfriend (bf) in order to save on rent (not the best motivating factor, if you ask me). Anyway, the whole conversation got me thinking about whether I would ever shack up with a bf. I used to assume (and you can blame this on my conservative upbringing) that I would never live with bf outside of marriage. Talk about taking away the mystery, the allure that makes being married something different. I would also be afraid of the whole "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free" phenomenon. As I thought more about it and moved past the auto response that has been programmed into me for so long, I realized that my opinion on the subject of shacking up had indeed changed. The thought of having to live with someone as husband and wife without trying it out for at least a little bit terrifies me. I can't imagine living on my own up until my wedding day and then suddenly having to learn to cohabitate, too. I realize that, whether you're shacking up with a bf or moving in with your husband, there will still be the initial shock of living alone one day and together the next. I just think it might be kind of nice not to have to wrap my mind around the emotional issues I'll have being someone's wife and having to live with them on the same day.

5 comments:

NotCarrie said...

Yeah, I used to be way against it but that was also when I was young and wanted to wait til marriage for the deed;) I'm glad my cousins and brother broke the ice on shacking up and living in sin so that when I do it it won't be such a shock:)

NotCharlotte said...

That's one of my rules: before marriage, we must live together.

I mean, what if you HATE living with him?! If you wait until marriage to find that out... isn't that a bit too late?

Sleepy Girl said...

I've already been there and back, and let me tell you, I am now a very strong advocate of living together before marriage. If you're cosnidering marrying someone, I think you owe it to the relationship to see how you cohabitate first.

Living together is not easy, especially when you have to do it for (ideally) the rest of your lives. If it works well, you know you can get married. If it doesn't, well...you do what I did and take that as I sign that you shouldn't get married. I'm SO glad living together gave me the extra push I needed to get out of my relationship.

jo said...

i have a weird thinking that makes it a so-called easier way out... i think that i should be housemates with the guy. that way i don't feel that pressure of shacking up with a bf and yet get to see what's it like. gosh i'm warped haha!

Tif said...

I would highly reccomend shacking up before marriage, you gotta be prepared for sleeping habits, tidiness, health concerns, etc. For example I sleep walk. Me and the fiance have been living together five years (we're newly engaged and the wedding is next year). I also reccomend it for times like this.