Monday, March 06, 2006
Making a graceful exit
I feel like I need to close the loop on the NotGraceful debacle. As if he were reading this blog, the email standoff ended at 4:26 pm on February 26, when I finally received a response to my "let's put all cards on the table" email. He said much more than I expected or even wanted. The gist of the email was that he wasn't interested. I got to hear how he was a laidback guy who felt put on a stage and that I somehow expected so much of him. Can I make one fucking thing clear here? I may air my neuroses on this site, but I do NOT display them for public consumption. The most he ever got from me was a tendency to ignore him. Maybe my neuroses cling to me like the stench of sour milk, but I don't think so. I also consider myself pretty self aware and got several signs that he might be interested in something more than friendship. Screw it. I can move on and do the whole friendship thing with him. In fact, that's what we've been doing since then. After a bit of initial ackwardness the first time we saw each other, he joked about the email, and I laughed and called him an asshole. Friendship can begin at asshole. It's what I do...I keep rollin'. The friend I am doesn't think about how hot it is that he played guitar and sang his own material in the wee hours of the morning at NotSamantha's party on Friday. The friend I am convinces herself that it's normal for him (a friend) to grab my (also just a friend) hand and hold it just a little bit. I just keep rollin'.