Monday, February 27, 2006

The Dating Cliffnotes

So while I would love to have the job of interviewing hundreds of men, I just don't have the time (or the patience). Thanksfully, someone else did and I'm hoping their findings help somehow! Even if just for a laugh or two. The following is what I have learned:

1. A date breaker for 59% of men is a woman who lives 50+ miles away. This worries me since my prime "find men" spots are usually 50 miles away. I hope noone I am interested in mapquests my house.

2. 24% of women say they just can't find the right guy or have high expectations. I used to limit myself by having crazy expectations but I think that was a cover up for being shy. I don't have either of these problems anymore. But maybe there should be a section on "convincing the right guy that you are the right girl".

3. 24% of women rely on friends and family to find dates (higher than finding them online or at work) while 18% of men are trying to find women online. Um, isn't this like 2 + 2 equaling cow? And if I'm not trying online dating am I doomed? Should this worry me?

4. It's pretty funny that 78% of women and 71% of men say they never lie. "Hey honey, how much do you weigh?" DING DING DING!

5. As for what is the ideal first date? Both men and women seem to agree that dinner is the way to go. It amuses me that dinner with a movie is a separate option. Like, adding a movie is just 'too much' for that first date. "I'm sorry but dinner AND a movie? We're not married!"

6. This is crazy: a man's first thing they are attracted to with a woman is their physical appearance while a woman first looks for humor. There are almost too many jokes to make here but I have a feeling a facial would be better in the long-run;)

7. And from the Stone Ages: almost half of the women surveyed said they would not call after the first date and expect the man to. Where does texting and email come into play here? I hate calling pretty much anyone so can I really expect someone else to do all of the calling? At a certain point you need to suck it up and just call.

8. S-E-X and when to have it. Roughly the same number of women say in about 1-3 months while men say on the 2nd or 3rd date. I guess we can compromise and spread out the first few dates over a 2 month period. Awesome. "Let's get it ooonnnnn! Ayyyy!"

9. Ok seriously, a woman will have sex after a month but the majority only want a kiss on the cheek after the first date? I mean, if there's a connection on the date I want some lip locking! (Hell, at this point, I don't even require a connection;) Why go through first-date awkwardness if there's going to be no reward at the end of the night.

10. Still don't think I'm ready for internet dating. I followed the links and entered my zip code. Terrified at the number of men with pictures that popped up from my small town, I quickly closed the window and vowed to get out more. (Out, far, far, 50 miles away far!)


Callie said...

haha well, very informative yet very funny at the same time. How do people manage to acutally get married nowadays anyway? Sometimes it feels like you need an act of God to actually find someone. lol I love your site; it's going on my favorites!

Betsy & Arlene said...

hey! your blog is really cute. we're totally linking to you - you should link to our blog too! us dc girls gotta stick together... :)

Bama Girl said...

I think after the fourth date it's safe to have sex. I never really make it to the fourth though...

jo said...

haha! i could do with a handbook like that. i feel disappointed that they isn't a section on "convincing the right guy that you are the right girl".

thebarmaid said...

Maybe I'm incriminating myself here too much -- but who are these girls that hold out through 3 months of dating?

NotCarrie said...

Callie- Thanks for the site compliments:) It is weird how some people seemingly have it so easy with finding someone.

Betsy & Arlene- I love your site, too!

Bama girl- Haha, do you mean you don't usually get the 4th date or you've already done the deed? hehe

Jo- Someone needs to write that section!

Barmaid- I think there are more out there than people realize

NotCharlotte said...

Barmaid-- I've gone longer than 3 months.

And I do realize this makes me crazy.

NotCarrie said...

I don't think it's so crazy...there are some people I'm really glad I didn't bang.

Larissa said...

yeah I'm pondering Internet dating as well, but I dunno.

NotCarrie said...

I used to go on dating sites to make fun of friend on there. It was mean, yes, but also made me worried for people making fun of me.

NotCharlotte said...

I don't think there's anything wrong with Internet dating, as long as you're careful... like not meeting the person the day after you start talking to them... unless you have mutual friends.

The internet can be creepy.

I would write more, but I do believe this is a post in the making... :-)

Just Me said...

As far as waiting goes, I always find I was impulsive with guys I shouldn't have been with at all, and restrained with guys I really should have just jumped in the sack with straight away. Irony huh x

CoatMan said...

An intriguing survey - thank you for linking to that :-)

I am intrigued at the thing about calling. Is this after the first date, or after telephone numbers are first exchanged? If it is the latter, then the numbers are surprising indeed. 15% of women call the next day? I can't say that I've had that experience. I think it more polite and respectful not to call too soon, so as not to make to many demands on the time of the person in question, and not to come over as too keen, which is likely to make the other person feel uncomfortable unless she is really, really keen herself (in the early stages of a relationship, it is always best to be slightly less keen than the other person).

I am quite surprised that the numbers only go up to three days; is five days not a sensible option when both parties are busy professionals?

As to how to end a first date, I am keen to get hold of any guidance that I can on the subject, not having had terribly much success there myself. Is it so terribly awful if a man isn't so foreward as to engage in a passionate kiss after having spent probably no more than two or three hours with the woman in his whole life? Is a peck on the cheek not a sensible compromise? (I've ended dates with a handshake before, but I'm not sure that that went down too well).

As to convincing a man that you're the right woman for him, maybe if he needs more than transient convincing, he isn't the right man for you?

Incidentally, and not relating to the post, I am intrigued by those delightful sketches of all you NotGirls. Are the just pictures that you found somewhere, or did you have them commissioned especially by an artist?

NotMiranda said...

Coatman -

Interesting points you make. I wanted to weigh in on a couple. As for the to kiss/not to kiss/level of kiss one should go for on the first date, I would imagine that would be something you should just inherently 'feel'. If the date is going smashingly, I'd be for a passionate kiss. If I had a nice time, then a kiss on the cheek. The handshake is appropriate (albeit dorky) for when you just didn't connect.

In regard to convincing a man you're the right woman, I have to agree with you. No matter how much I want someone, he's going to have to realize how wonderful I am on his own. If he won't, others will.

Glad you like the drawings. The woman who designed our website actually found them. I believe the artist is credited on the site. As for their likeness, it's not bad. You'd be surprised at how close we got ; )

NotCarrie said...

Actually, if I went on a date with a stranger and it was your run-of-the-mill date, then I'd like a hug at the end. A real kiss might be too weird. I hate shaking hands any time. I'm horrible at it so I avoid it. A peck on the cheek just seems odd and I'd be afraid he missed or something;) Then I would overanalyze that.

NotCarrie said...

I do agree with NotMiranda about a passionate kiss for a date with a good connection. Whatever the ending is, it has to NOT be ambigious!

CoatMan said...

Can't we hide behind at least a little bit of ambiguity?

Sometimes it's nice to be overanalysed!