Saturday, October 29, 2005

The Dangling Conversation

So last night I had a Halloween Party.
And dare I say, it was a success! The right amount of people came (including the lovely Not Girls, dressed in the best costumes of the night), the right amount of food was eaten, drinks drunk, conversations had.
Toward the end of the evening, around 4am, the conversations got a bit more personal... and dare I say interesting.
Most people had left by then and a small group of us went downstairs to the comfy couches to unwind and sober up.
To the tunes of NotGreatHead's guitar, we inevitably started talking about relationships, and "types."
One guy that had decided to stay was of slight interest to me. NotNY. Due to slight indications that he may be gay, I have simply been observing his mannerisms and relations with my friends. My best friend, NotHusband, was convinced he was gay, and proceeded to hit on him for the entire evening. These two men finally decided to hash it out in the remains of the night, NotNY giving quite convincing arguements to the fact that he was indeed not attracted to men.
NotHusband wasn't quite content with this answer and prodded him into letting us in on the secret that he had in fact "experimented" with men in the past and decided that it just didn't do it for him. He went on to explain that he was so comfortable with his sexuality that if his personality reflects the fact that he acts gay, so be it.
His justification of his personality was so intriguing to me. Being comfortable with yourself is the most important step to becoming who you really are. I simply listened for most of the night until the conversation progressed into what he thought "his" type was. His most important quality? How a woman holds themselves. One of my friends asked him to use me as an example, and of course I didn't object. He said that I held myself so confidently, he knew that I was comfortable with myself completely.
This was kind of a shock to me. I never considered myself "comfortable" with my own body. I have always struggled with the way I look, but I guess I fool people into thinking that I do indeed hold myself in high regard.
The conversation went on and I learned that men happen to think of me as "hot" and "confident," which was either a lie (due to alcohol), or a nice surprise.

It's not that often that I have the chance to get compliments handed to me like this, so I think I'll consider it the latter.

Last night was surprisingly fulfilling, I'm glad that the people who mattered were there, it meant a lot.

2 comments:

miro said...

nice design blog ;)

NotCarrie said...

NotStandford asked me once, while drunk, for me to rate him 1-10. I got him to do the same one time when I was drunk.

Too funny.