Monday, September 19, 2005

I need to stop.

So you guys know all about my little ordeal with NotVegas.
I've been really proud of myself because lately, I haven't been thinking too much of him. Until today.
I was looking at a former friends' photos online and I came across a familiar face... well it was a body actually. It was him. Driving. In the car that I had been accustomed to riding in for so many months.
What I saw in the picture matters not. It's the feeling in my body that I've felt before.
You know that feeling you get when you see someone you really like, a little fluttery feeling? You get kinda shivery?
Well, I got that feeling, but in a bad way. It's hard to explain. It's like the devil incarnate of the butterfly feeling. My heart started beating faster and my face got all hot, but then the memories starting flowing and my heart starts to burn and I'm ashamed...

Do you know that feeling? It's the worst. It's the feeling of wanting something you know you can't have.

That you shouldn't have.

But that you still want.