I keep hesitating to pick up the phone.
I want to talk to someone but I can't decide who. And I'm afraid that I'm trying to mix two needs into one and the result of this could just further complicate everything that is going on. I know this is all very ambigious which is also part of the problem. I think what I want is someone I trust fully and I can just talk to. Not worry about what I am saying or how it makes me look as a person, whether I am selfish or petty or a worrier (which I totally am).
So I haven't picked up the phone because I know if I do it will be horrible and then I'll just feel worse or like I bothered someone. I hate to feel like I bothered someone.
4 comments:
Trusting other people not to hurt you is so hard.
It's not much getting hurt though. It's trusting someone enough to tell them things I usually keep to myself. And feeling like they don't mind listening.
I guess for me that kind of thing is about the hurt. For example, if I trust you enough to share something important to me and you're secretly laughing at me behind my back or thinking you wish I would just leave you alone, then I'm hurt.
I think some things I want to share would reveal vulnerability perhaps.
But I understand what you mean...
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