I keep hesitating to pick up the phone.
I want to talk to someone but I can't decide who. And I'm afraid that I'm trying to mix two needs into one and the result of this could just further complicate everything that is going on. I know this is all very ambigious which is also part of the problem. I think what I want is someone I trust fully and I can just talk to. Not worry about what I am saying or how it makes me look as a person, whether I am selfish or petty or a worrier (which I totally am).
So I haven't picked up the phone because I know if I do it will be horrible and then I'll just feel worse or like I bothered someone. I hate to feel like I bothered someone.