No Sex & the City

For the life of me, I can't stop thinking about boys. It's what i do during classes, during work, in my sleep.
i. cant. help. it.
i could make a list of all the qualities i like in boys, from something as simple as their male anatomy to as complicated as the way a certain one looks at me when i say something funny.
i could never be a lesbian.
One question that lies permanently on my overworked brain is "If i love boys so much, then why don't i have one?"
perhaps the most important word in this question is "boys." So far, in my twenty one years of existence, that is all i have experienced. Boys. no men for me, i am a magnet for clingy, immature, indecisive, innocent boys, which this forum will get to know as well as i thought i knew them.

i create different scenarios with my current crushes, seeing how things would be different if i happened to have them be a significant part of my life. in my perfect world, any of them would do. we would figure out our differences and continue to live as a match set.
but when i think about them, in my mind i simply see a body with a fuzzed out face.
i have yet to meet that man that takes me off my feet, makes me think about just them, someone to fall in love with me. i know i'm young, but isn't that really what every woman wants?
i've been in love, once. was i loved back? i still don't know. words mean different things coming from the heat of the moment.
it's hard to be decisive about something so important.