Saturday, October 11, 2008

Ruminations on a Theme

So things with Starbucks guy didn't pan out. We went out a few times and I realized that either he was intimidated by me, or I was too old for him. Either way, we still have our little conversations when I happen to see him on my morning passing through that warm room of caffienated heaven and we send random Palin-related texts to each other sometimes. It is what it is.

I was supposed to go on a date tonight with the man that thumb licked my face. His persistence was trying to pay off and I finally consented to letting him take me out for a drink and to see a comedy show.
It was Thursday and we were chatting online and he said "ok, let's go at 8, I'll pick you up at your house." Then he quickly signed off, saying he needed to study and eat dinner.
I didn't hear from him the rest of the evening, nor on Friday, or the good part of today. I began to be amused. He wasn't a detail-oriented guy, but you would think he'd ask where exactly it was that I lived before he decided to not talk to me again before we had our date.
Around 730, he sends me a text, asking for my address. Yes, 30 minutes before we were expected to jet off to DC. Why didn't I give him my address before, you ask? I was too busy being amused at his insistence of planning the date and not asking my opinion, that I thought it was his job to ask me where he should pick me up.

I was telling notmiranda about this as she waited for her flight home from Portland, and she asked me if I was going to rethink the whole "he's giving me attention, I'll play along with it for awhile" point of view that I've been seeing him with.
I had a mini ephiphany and realized that hey, I want a guy that I love, not a guy that I sort of could possibly like.

This is the dawn of a new period in the life of NotCharlotte. I vow to not waste my time with any guy that I know will never have a chance with me.
Harsh as that sounds, I have realized that with all of the guys I've dated in the past, I knew that I couldn't see myself with them permanently. Within one date, hell, one hour of a date with any of them, I knew that it wasn't a permanent thing. I stuck with it because I wanted to "gain experience" and yes, on some occassions I did happen to fool myself into "loving" the person I was with, but now I think I've had enough of those situations. I need to start trusting my judgment, not making exceptions for what I think I could possibly deal with for the moment.

1 comment:

manpret kapor said...

This is the editor of High On Sex, a porn/erotica/sex blog. I'd like to work with you and other bloggers to reform Blogger's flawed content warning interstitial.