Monday, March 12, 2007

Too Flirty And Suggestive? Is There Such A Thing!?

Sometimes it's too easy. The opening in the conversation is there and I just have to say the next thing that wants to come out of my mouth. Oh, and it's always flirty, of course. Suggestive even, at times. It's almost habit now. I can formulate the line as the conversation goes on and when the timing is right, I slip it in for the reaction.

I've been wondering lately, though, if I'm letting these come ons and suggestive replies out into my regular conversations too often. I am afraid they're losing their effect and validity. Like, it's just going in one ear and out the other with the people with whom I'm serious. The other day I said to someone something to the effect of "making him feel better...in the back." (And NO, I'm not talking anal-omg. I was referring to the backroom of where we were located.) He barely flinched, though. Either he didn't 'get' what I was saying, or these replies have become way too common for me.

And it's not like I always expect a reaction when I flirt or really expect the recipient of my awesome come ons to respond with actions, but I fear that they are all being lumped into one big blob of "Guys NotCarrie Flirts With." That would be terrible! I may flirt a lot, but I'm pretty true to who I'm actually after. I would hate for my truest intentions to be mistaken as friendly, flirtatious banter.

11 comments:

Del said...

Sometimes I wonder about the same thing. When I think I'm just being friendly some people see it as flirting!

jo said...

sometimes i think i just can't help it. flirty almost suggestive comments somehow just come outta my mouth. as long as i'm comfy with the guy. but strangely i've learnt that usually i'm comfy with guys i'm not interested in. which means my target group is totally out.

Px said...

i'm forever doing things like that, but i've always got the cheeky smile to back me up...i'm nearly always joking about it though and people know that because i'll usually end with "i'm kidding, unless you really wanna"
and i still think you should get on a plane and come find me (and i'm not kidding about that)

Anonymous said...

There is a delicate line between being tastefully flirtatious with people you are just meeting, people you know already. When done just for a reaction or attention, flirting seems very vulgar or inappropriate. Sincere flirting is never excessive, anyway. Its supposed to entice, not seduce. Is sad to see girls acting completely ridiculous in front of boys and even sillier to see how they respond.

NML said...

That's a bit harsh anon but that's your opinion...

I think you have well-meaning intentions. I reckon sometimes what you're doing is charming and at other times you're actually flirting. As a wisecracker myself, I found that when I was single, some guys didn't know how to take me. It sounds like this particular guy didn't understand you or may not have trusted his intepretation.

Sex & Moxie said...

It's all in the delivery, tone and facial expressions. If your delivery is without a lilt in your voice, raised eyebrows or cocked head, then most people won't blink at some of the things you say.

MoxieintheCity.net

Thomas said...

Can I be the Not Mr. Big?

Churlita said...

I always call that kind of interaction with guys who are friends "talking shit". When I was married, it was no problem, and no one took it seriously. Now that I'm single, I have to worry that guys don't get that I'm just messing around. If they saw me REALLY flirt, they'd recognize the difference.

NotCarrie said...

Del- I think people think my friendly and flirty are all the same.

Jo- It's def more tough to flirt with the ones you want.

Px- Hahha, I do the "Just kidding" thing, too, which is usually a lame cover up for something I mean sincerely.

Anon- Haha, well, I never act ridiculous, so I guess I'm okay, right?Flirting isn't vulgar.

NML- Exactly. I think I need to work on clearly defining charming (ha) remarks and real flirting. I don't want them confused.

Sex & Moxie- I usually give a "look" when I say something I really mean.

Thomas- Um, ok?

Churlita- But with some of them I really AM flirting. Hmmm.

Jordan said...

I know that most men find it flirty when I talk to them, when I'm seriously just being friendly.

They don't come out and say it, but they definitely act as if I was flirting (and return it) and sometimes that's just ewwww.

NotCarrie said...

Jordan- Haha, that's happened to me, too. I'm like, "WHOA! I was just being nice!"