Thursday, March 15, 2007

Please please please let me get what I want

A week or so ago, I put up an ad on a popular dating site. Within minutes of my 4 sentence-long description, I received no less than 15 responses.
This shocked me, seeing as how my ad, while witty, was highly specific and in some cases a bit snarky. I soon dropped everything else I had been doing and proceeded to sort my way through the weeds of scruffy men that I had requested.
I sifted through profiles that:
  • detailed height, weight, build, as well as stereotypes to which I was turned off of (running, weightlifting, beer pong)
  • apologized for their lack of scruffiness, but promised they made up for it in their knowledge of music and/or poetry
  • confessed this was the first time they'd been to said dating site and apologized if they said too much/not enough (I got seven of these, no lie)
  • seemed to be copy and pasted from several emails to several different profiles/ads. These amused me to no end because they had nothing to do with what I was asking for, until the last few lines said in "P.S." form. Come on guys...
Once these fool's gold nuggets were thrown from my web, I emailed a few prospective candidates. I narrowed my favorites down to four and after a bit of (or lack of) email traffic, I'm down to two. The two that I dropped were either too spastic or too obsessive. I spoke on the phone with the latter of those two and realized that this guy mistook "scruffy" for "gay." Plus, he further freaked me out by mentioning not once, not twice, but three times sentences with "well, when we're dating" somewhere in them. No, we had not met yet. And no, we are not going to meet. Ever. Creepy!

The two I've set my sights on right now, I have decided not to talk about yet. I happen to believe that when you speak about something that you hope to happen, it won't. Call me crazy, but at least I'm not jumping to conclusions.

15 comments:

Roxy said...

Oh craigslist... how I have missed thee. The ridiculous number of responses was such an ego boost.

Tasha said...

Wow, that is a little creepy that he was already saying "When we're dating." Little too forward buddy!

Good luck with the 2 you have narrowed down!

CarmenSinCity said...

hehehe roxy. I'm cracking up about craigslist. I met a prostitute one time who had recently been busted at the Mandalay Bay because she posted her ads on craigslist and they were doing a big sting operation.

Keep us updated and good luck!

Red said...

One: Arguably the best Smiths song _ever_.

Two: I wouldn't know said Smiths song (or any others) if it weren't for my ex, who I met on match, and aside from being, apparently, NotTheOne, he was both the best boyfriend I've ever had and the one who lasted the longest.

LMNt said...

Since when does "scruffy" mean "gay"? I must have missed that memo...

Johnny said...

Pretty sure innernets dating is where all the rejects go.

Just face it, those bitches who were your rivals in college took all the good ones and hung on to them for dear life.

muhahaha :P

NotCharlotte said...

roxy: yeah, craigslist. how I love it.

tasha: thanks!

carmen: weird about the prostitute

red: I <3 the Smiths!!

lmnt: I'm not sure, but it's what he thought.

Johnny: gee, thanks. way to boost my self confidence.

Px said...

what did your description say?
i want to know if i fit the bill...

Pele said...

It never fails to proove itself:

Guys that go to the internet looking for dates are single for a REASON.

Too ugly, too stupid, too creepy, too geeky, too egotistical, too boring... Too much something; they can't get a date in real life.

It shouldn't be that hard to meet and find dates the traditional, pre-internet way.

I suggest getting a concealed weapons license before your date with the other two... Just in case.

NotCharlotte said...

px: i believe you do...

Pele: You mean, that's why you participated in the Charity Auction?


I love how the girls are all gung-ho about this, but the boys make it seem like I'm digging in the .99 bin at WalMart. Seems to me like they've been done wrong by the Internets.

Pele said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Pele said...

NotCharlotte:

EXACTLY! I'm damaged goods. Not totally sure where or how, but it's what I'm told by "them"...

Not being sure who "they" are, I can't get any further clarification... Nor can I verify this myself.

Ever have your shirt on inside-out or leave the tag or something on the back and never notice it until someone says something? I think creepy interweb dating guys are kinda like that.

dystonic said...

omigod you particicipated in the no sex & the city charity blog thing?

hah-small-world.

Stepping Over the Junk said...

Sometimes I want to try the dating sites, just to see what great hilarious things can happen!!! Fortunately, I have an equally amusing (yet not creepy) guy that has been courting me so at least I will be having some hilarious (and not creepy) stuff to post about sometime.

I know alot of people who have met and successfully carried on together, via the internet dating, so hope one of those last two are fun and exciting and more what you are looking for!

CoatMan said...

I'm trying to work out whether that's better or worse than being winked at from the other side of the Atlantic...