Its like a compliment and yet not...

I posted a bit about my birthday weekend, but I left out this little tidbit because I wasn't sure it would amount to anything.

Turns out it amounted to something, but not something I want.

I was running late for my birthday dinner at The Melting Pot with NotASong, NotDippy and NotANinja and after parking my car I was hurrying to the door when I was stopped by this line, "You are so beautiful, you have got to let me take you to dinner." Looking over I saw a fine specimen of a man. Tall, dark haired and built stocky (I like my men with meat on their bones). I started to just blow him off, but he approached with an air of confidence and so decided to go with it. Here's sort of how the conversation went.*

Me: *laughs*
Him: Can I get your number
Me: I don't have time to give you my number, I'm late for my birthday dinner.
Him: Oh, well Happy Birthday. Can I give you my number

At this point he approaches me and takes my hand (his are much bigger than my large hands, which is a plus for him), and then hands me his business card (which at least validates the existence of a job).

Him: My name is....
Me: Nice to meet you....Well, I have to go. I'll give you a call.

Following that I go to dinner where I explain the reason why I was later than expected and to show off the business card. I had planned to email him instead of call and did so a few days before I left on vacation. I was encouraged by his email back and thus we started our conversation. He suggested we meet somewhere close by the Friday after I returned from San Francisco and I agreed. Unfortunately, the weather did not agree and on Friday I had to cancel the date because of it. Divine intervention, I would find out later could possibly be blamed for this.

Yesterday's and todays emails were us trying to reconnect and set up a time to meet. We were in the process of negotiating which day this weekend we would see each other when he mentions, "I think there are some things we need to discuss that might be important." I was confused. We had yet to officially meet for any sort of date and we already had "important" things to discuss? So, of course, my email back to him asked about these things of import.

And what I got back blew me away.

"As 4 discussing important things. I can’t remember if I told you I’m a married man. But having a young lady as a special friend is always welcome with me. The question is do you have a problem with it."

Bad grammar aside, I was pissed. He's married!?! WTF!?! And he wants me as a "special friend?" I had to reread the line several times just to make sure I had read it correctly. And it didn't change and my blood pressure got higher. I closed the email and went about the rest of my day because the level of disgust I felt, I just couldn't deal with.

Later that evening, I called my mother to share this bit of information with her. And her response was "Well you could take it as a compliment that he thought you would be worth endangering his marriage for." But I was still appalled. I didn't want to ever skirt along the edge of becoming "she of the home wrecking." When I finally got home and was able to deal with the email I simply wrote him back and told him that "unfortunately, for you don't date married men." I deleted the email after I had sent my piece and went to bed. I woke up to another email from him, this time asking for an opportunity to win me over.

So not amused by this.

I'm now a little less unhappy about being single. Especially if this is the sort of thing that cheating husbands would do. My mother said to take its as a compliment, but I can only see the insult. He made an assumption that I would be willing to date him and possibly have more, despite the fact that he was married. I don't know if I'm more upset about the fact that he asked me out or the fact that he thought it would be okay to betray his vows.

Compliment my ass, its an insult and I will give it the proper vitriol and disdain it deserves.

*I say sort of because I don't remember the actual words, but I get the gist of it right.