When getting drunk in the middle of a Friday afternoon, there are several lessons to be learned. First and foremost...NEVER, EVER CARRY YOUR CELL PHONE WITH YOU.
My sincere apologies to all of those I inadvertently came on to. Best lines I discovered on my phone this morning...
"Mango dribble...reminds me of your semen."
"Omg...so drunk and horny. At Smith & Wollensky. Hahahaha."