Have you ever gone out with someone of the opposite sex* and not been sure if it was a date or not? Now, this hasn’t happened to me recently (as far as I know), but recent events got me thinking about it. My friends and I tease all the time about an evening being a date if someone pays for the other or if the male and female sit on the same side of the table. Obviously, these are ludicrous qualifiers for what makes it a date, but what does make it a date?
It’s not exactly customary to request one’s company by saying, “Would you like to spend an evening with me? I have romantic intentions for you.” Sure, it would make for a less ambiguous time, but invitations just don’t go like that. At least, none that I have received. A male friend of mine recently was invited out by a woman and was unsure if the night out was one of old friends or one where a goodnight kiss was expected and hoped for. How was he to have known? Yeah, there are signs to be seen during the evening, like positive body language or eyefucking**, but it’s not always obvious when the question is posed.
I wrote once about going on a non-date with my guy friend and how, from the outside, it looked like we were on a real date. We both knew, though, that we were just hanging out. Another time, years ago, a guy friend of mine invited me out to dinner at a fancy restaurant. Looking back, I should have known better, but he told me that he had a coupon and needed to use it by its expiration date. Does this sound like a date invitation to you? The night really is material for a blog in itself, but the evening that I thought was just about friends taking advantage of using a coupon turned into him trying to stroke the back of my neck and convince me to come inside.
So how does a person know when it’s a date and when it’s just two people hanging out as friends? One thing I do know (get ready for shameless plug) is that all dates won in our CHARITY AUCTION (see button in the sidebar to the right), will be properly clarified before they happen.
*Or same sex, if you swing that way.
**I stole that from the lovely Barmaid.