Friday, August 18, 2006

Quality Vs. Quantity

I know that I'm young and shouldn't feel this way and I'm never going to "meet anyone" with this attitude, but my time feels valuable and I often don't want to waste it doing things I don't want to do. Or with people I don't want to be with. Sometimes I think about how I am so not a dater and wonder why and think that maybe I should try to change that. Then, it's a Friday afternoon like today and the only way I want to spend my evening is doing specific things with specific people. I guess a better way to phrase that is that I don't want to just do anything with anyone.

I sound like such a bitch. I'm not! Really! In roughly a week I am going to be insanely busy and I guess I'm already in the mindset of quality over quantity. I don't really want to just go out to a bar where the conversation is of the small variety with strangers when I could spend that same time with close friends even if our activies seem boring to others.

OK, but really, back to the "never going to meet anyone with that attitude"...I think that's crap and I just wanted to take the moment to reiterate that a person can meet "The One" anywhere.

23 comments:

Ryane said...

I do agree w/you on meeting 'the One'. Besides, it's when you are doing those things that other people find boring that I think you are most likely to actually meet someone interesting. Bars--not that they aren't fun--can be exactly as you said: lots of little conversations and etc. It can get very tedious--especially after a long work week.

DCVita said...

I love this attitude! Actually, the more laid back you are, and the more you worry about yourself, the more men flock to you. And I am speaking from experience! Trust me, this is the attitude you should be having! And you are not a bitch at all! Have you ever read the book, "why men love bitches?" That is the whole concept! Be picky with your time, do what you want to do and all will be well in the dating world! Enjoy your weekend!

NotCarrie said...

Ryane- Yeah, I used to go out to bars a lot more and it was fun, but nothing ever lasted and I'm more into doing things that will last now.

DCvita- Exactly! I'm glad you agree.

NCTRNL said...

Do what you're doing lady!!! You can't think about things like that. Bars can really suck and no one I know has met their "one" at a bar...

myboyfriendiscrazy said...

I get tired of putting effort in all the time, and I am sooo lucky that I've got someone (for now...)

fuzzymuffin said...

Hey, just stumbled across your blog.

I agree with dcvita. And thinking about it no one I know has met any serious boyfriends through dating so just keep enjoying yourself!

shpprgrl said...

Yes, you can meet him anywhere. I'm married but sometimes I wonder if I met him several times but was such a goon that I had to be sent several.

But it finally happened when I wasn't expecting it and it was quick..just like you said.

I've read below and see that there are some potentials. I'll come back for updates...Enjoyed your blog!

Lindsey said...

Everytime you post, I realize just how much alike we are.

NotCarrie said...

NCTRNL- Right! Bars are fun for some thing, but I totally have to be in the mood for them. Plus, I'm too poor to drink and always have to drive home.

Myboyfriendiscrazy- So the one you have now, is he the crazy one? haha

fuzzymuffin- Yeah sometimes I think I'm missing out, but then I hear about people's horrible dates and I know I'm not.

shppgrl- Hope to see you back. I'll up the flirting with NotTaylor next week, promise!

Linny- Haha, really? That's hilarious. Maybe you're my long long twin.

Misty Ann Matheson said...

hone, as long as you look good, you will be just fine in the long run.

Jordan said...

I don't particularly like dating either, I'd much rather have him just drop from the sky and land on my doorstep. They do do that, don't they?

Beth said...

I think you're right on target. A lot of people don't realize they could meet "The One" anywhere! You are one step WAY ahead of the rest. You go girl. (wow, that was very circa 1997.)

I'm also very similar in that I'm not much of a dater, and I like being with people I love doing absolultely nothing rather than have a mediocre time with strangers. Quality over Quantity is key to finding someone, I think!

Clueless said...

Ah I have the same inner debate at times NotCarrie, any time I dodge someone who just strikes me as reeking of desperation, neediness or whatever. Who knows, they could be great guys and I too am not giving people a chance. But jeez, sometimes your inner "freakometer" is going to send off bells and whistles warning you it's just not worth the hassle of humouring someone. I kept trying to be nice last night but my inner freakometer kept sounding off "danngerrr Clueless, DANNNGEERR" until I finally stopped being nice and he left me alone.

Andrea said...

And would you really want to meet the "One" at a bar?

What would you tell your kids???

Great blog/attitude.

jo said...

okay i know that chances are that i'm probably not going to meet "the one" in the bar... but yet i go to the bar all the same. for me, that's just for a bit of fun. besides some of my closest friends are real party people.

but i can so relate with wanting quality over quantity. and it's not like we're at that age where we have to luxury of time to sieve through the bad ones.

NotCarrie said...

Misty ann matheson- Haha! Now THAT'S an attitude I like!

Jordan- Oh, they do!

Beth- I used to get disappointed when going out more because as much as I flirted with guys nothing was ever real. I still like to go out sometimes, but with different intentions.

Clueless- Yeah, I don't want to have to consult my inner freakometer.

Andrea- Haha, true. "Grandma was wasted and saw three of him!"

Jo- Oh yeah, I totally hear you. I still like to go out and party, but with what feels like less free time, I kind of have different priorities right now.

Marissa said...

im SO with you on this. i seriously HATE dating and i HATE spending time with people i don't want to spend time with. honestly, the place i always want to be most is on my couch with a good book and my remote in my hand. sad and pathetic? yes. but i like it! i know, i know. im not going to meet anyone on my couch, so i do force myself out. but it feels like i never meet anyone worthwhile anyway (now i sound like the bitch! i better stop before karma kicks me and i really never meet anyone, ever! ha!)

NotCarrie said...

Ha, I totally understand, Marissa. What would be ideal is me on the couch, with the remote in my hand...next to my boyfriend:) Not all the time, of course, but relaxing is NICE, too.

NotMiranda said...

I hate that I didn't have an opportunity to respond to this sooner, but you know and I know that this is a sentiment that we share. The funny thing is that I think it allows us to be happier as single girls (not feeling the pressure to want to date a ton). Now if "the one" will just show up...

NotCarrie said...

Yeah, I'm glad I've never felt like I NEED someone.

Crashdummie said...

There can only be One

Hmm too much oh the matrix/highlander vibe.

Just cuz you are waiting for "The One" it doesn't mean you can’t have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones ;)

Spill The Beans said...

I've never felt like a crowded, loud, noisy bar was the kind of place to meet desirable guys, anyway. I do think dating is a numbers game, the more you date, the more likely you are to encounter someone who is a good fit for what you are looking for.

BUT, I have never felt like bar-hopping was productive. In fact, I'd far rather online date than do THAT. Unless you're meeting friends to go to bars and make fun of the mating/dating crowd. THAT is fun.

NapaGirl said...

You are so right and how many people REALLY meet "the one" in a bar or club....out of my friends....that would be zero! When the time is right you will find him!