Rain makes me want a boyfriend.
It's absolutely pouring outside, roads are flooded, it's a bit chillier out than it has been in the past and all I could think about on my drive home from a friends house was how nice it would be to cuddle up with someone and watch a movie.
I have decided to tell NotElvis that I like him, but I'm having trouble figuring out the right approach. NotMiranda has some "Notification of Attraction" cards left, but considering I rarely see him and I'm not even sure if he'd follow email instructions since he isn't an "email person," I'm not sure if it's the route to go.
So here I am, asking you my fellow Not-Followers for advice. How should I go about letting NotElvis know of my attraction to him without it:
a. being weird
b. embarassing the Hell out of me
c. catching the attention of the rest of our coworkers.
Anything at all would help...
for now, I'm off to watch Waiting for Guffman and try to not lament the loss of my "I'm single and happy about it" stance on life.
14 comments:
Charlotte...if I remember correctly there appeared to be some mutual attraction there right? He was definitly being flirty with you. Why don't you just invited him somewhere? Something small...like out to get a drink after work or something. IF you don't want it to seem like a 'dateish' thing. Make a friend go with you and tell NotElvis that you guys are going out for a drink...would he like to come? When he accepts...you turn on your charm.
I agree with Linny. Keep it casual, so he thinks there's a chance that you like him, and if he wants to get with you, he'll feel comfortable enough to make a move.
And yes. There's nothing like a rainy day to make one want a bf. :-(
PS - this is a shout out from Silver Spring!
From a guy's persp., you ought to be subtlely obvious? So don't bring friends, or pretend its part of a happy hour jig. Its very confusing and I would expect him to err on the safer side, esp. since you are colleagues. Just call or leave a vm- asking him to have coffee/lunch with you- change the tone of your voice from your usual. Done.
I'd go for the "So.. what would you think if I kissed you right now?" approach. But I'm a saucy little thing. ;/
Haha, love Isabella Snow's idea! I hope to do that some day (soon).
This has always been a weird thing for me too because I am so not the type to just come out and tell someone I'm interested in them and wait for their reply. SO... I suggest talking about an upcoming event in the area and ask him if he's interested in going. Of course alcohol makes things so much easier, things you wouldn't necessarily do or say normally. You can't drink at work (or can you) haha.. well you could pretend you chugged a couple margaritas.. then send him a note that says "do you like me?" circle yes or no. Ok that's so 6th grade. I like the non chalant way of asking them to an event / movie.. something. You'll be able to tell more when you're out somewhere alone with the guy opposed to being in your workplace which can make things a bit odd.
I just asked my new crush, and he said, he's not sure if he'd like someone to just walk up to him and say they're interested, he likes the 'ask them out to an event' idea better...
oh man i could do with some tips too. i'm horrible at telling a guy i like him so i just never ever did. what happened instead was that i waited sooo long that if i were to tell him now, he'd think i'm crazy. so i say if you're gonna go that route, do it quick while you've still got the nerve. go for the casual approach. he seems to like you too so i think it will go well. just ask him to hang out or something. and then tell us all bout it :) good luck!
"I can only be blatantly cheeky with someone if I don't care what the outcome is..."
SO SO TRUE!
I don't have any advice, but at least you have a funny movie to watch. I just watched that myself.
"I need a hundred thousand dollars."
Don't we all.
Go for the looking slightly up at him with big eyes and simply say 'I like you...' then laugh shortly 'There, now I said it!'.
And then tell me if it works... :)
Having struggled with the same thing before, I would highly encourage you not to come right out and say anything. Men don't like that as Anonymous guy said. Men like to do the pursuing. What you can do is up the flirtations more. Example: If you ask what he did that weekend, and he says he did went to x. Tell him, Oh, I never went to x before, that sounds like fun, I would like to try it someday. If he is interested, he will pick up on it and ask you to go to x with him one day. If he is not interested, he will change topics. It's really a pretty simple forumla. Good luck!
I'm with Meg and Linny -- Casual is always good. And if he doesn't seem to get it, just go with isabelle snow -- saucy is never wrong.
And I know what you mean about the rain -- makes me lonely, too.
Hmm, well as a shy guy, sometimes I need all the help I can get, so it's always kinda my dream that someone will be, as someone said, "subtly obvious," or even not subtle at all. If you don't see him that much, it's less awkward if it fails.
Definitely leave the coworkers behind. That would probably make both of you more reserved and wouldn't indicate anything. If you run into him close to lunch, ask him to have coffee or something. Same if you run into him near the end of the day. That's not explicitly a date at all, but then you can see how the conversation goes. If you're connecting, then rachet up the flirting. Look for excuses to touch him. I know it sounds old fashioned, but that at least makes me a lot more receptive.
And if he's not a fan of you, just tell him you hate him and his stupid ass-face. :)
Linny: I think that's a good idea... this friday we both work until late, so I may ask him if he wants to grab some food after we're done.
Meg: Holla!! haha. I hope he feels comfortable enough to make a move...
Anonymous: I don't have his phone number and he's not much of a drinker, from what I can tell... I use my flirty voice with him and I still can't tell if he knows i act differently around him.
Isabella: I'm saucy, but not *that* saucy...
Jordan: that's what happened with the movie night thing, but other people were there too... maybe he didn't get the hint?
Jo: It looks like the majority of you guys are voting for the 'casual approach' but how do i do that at work without it looking like i've staged it? I don't want to press it!
Clueless: good advice, I just have to get up the nerve!
Chuckles: I <3 Christopher Guest.
Heart of Darkness: Now there's an idea!! Too bad i'm a chicken...
Dcvita: but what if he's as shy as I think he is? Not all guys like pursuing, I don't think...
Corona: I will try to be saucy... we'll see. It may just come out dorky...
Beavis: I think (and hope) that he's a fan of me... every time we have discussions in a group he always looks at me. I'm such a fan of guys making the first move that this whole "let's hang out, just you and me" thing makes me a bit nervous... but i will give it some thought.
You guys are so helpful!! Keep it coming!
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