I’ve decided against doing date #2 with, NotMyType.
My main reason; its useless to prolong something that I know I’m not going to move forward with. And the reason behind that: I’m just not interested. I mean not at ALL. Upon further discussion of this with NotMiranda, NotCharlotte, NotRachel and NotVoiceofReason I discovered that I knew from the moment I laid eyes on him that he wouldn’t be what I wanted, great conversation aside and gentlemanly attributes aside.
To be honest I wanted him to walk right past when he pulled up in front of me and got out of the car. When I placed the ad I put up two pictures of myself that showed exactly how I looked. One was a full face shot and the other was a full body shot. Both clearly displayed that while I am not petite or slender, I am quite curvy and in my opinion striking. His picture came back a little fuzzy and didn’t show him from head to toe, but I just took it in stride and decided that I would see the full package in person. However, I was quite shocked when I did meet him in person, remember that I wanted him to walk by me. So now I’ve run headlong into being shallow because I immediately discarded him from my cache of dating material because of his looks. And this is not to say that he was horrid to look at, no, not at all. He was however twice my size and several inches below 6 feet.
I am an average height of 5’7” tall and for this date I wore 3 inch heels, for me they’re a judge of height when I’m on a date as I would typically like to look up at my date. Now while the height for me isn’t a hard and fast dealbreaker, they can be something that I would be picky over if I had the choice. Lets just say this gave him a bad start to a date that was already dying in terms of being a success.
But we all know by my lack of dating that I have no right to be picky, though I can and do have some absolutes that I adhere to and for NotMyType, the weight is one that I couldn’t let slide.
I don’t want to date someone who wouldn’t be capable of satisfying my sexually, and while my appetite isn’t overwhelming, at times it can be voracious. And I know that he wouldn’t be able to keep up with me. Also, I have no interest in seeing him naked and I know I wouldn’t be able to get excited about the idea of doing anything remotely sexual with him.
So where does that leave me, besides questioning my own prowess as a dater. Well, to start, I have to admit that I’m shallow. In dating, I want someone who meets or exceeds certain physical attributes that I find attractive, and when I go on a date with someone who I thought would fall within them and then doesn’t I’m disappointed and my whole judgment system is thrown into a tailspin. I don’t give him the benefit of a doubt because I was caught off guard by something I didn’t expect. Namely, that he would be so much larger than I am.
At first I felt bad about how I had totally discounted the date itself because of how he looked and then I rationalized to myself that most men do the same thing. So in the name of equality of the sexes I’m entitled, to do so as well. And as NotASong reminded me, "You're just getting back into the game, he was a test run and you got your feet wet." Hopefully, in getting my feet wet I don't end up drowning here in the shallow end.
And the irony of the entire situation, despite the fact that we had already agreed upon date #2, he hasn’t called me at all.