Monday, March 13, 2006

The First Five Times

Saturday night involved me, NotMiranda, and NotHusband making porn in a playground.
Well, not really. I did take some rather interesting pictures though.
NotHusband had to make it an early night, which left NotMiranda and I alone to venture the streets of Fairfax in search of something to do. Driving at night is one of my favorite things to do, as long as there's good music and interesting conversation.
We started talking about relationships, and how bad we want them. I started thinking about why I'm so hesitant to actually tell someone I like them and I think I hit the nail on the head. I'm afraid of rejection, yes, but I'm also afraid of the "three date rule" that seems to be prevalent in this day and age.
I am a virgin. A 22 year old virgin. It's not something I'm proud of, but then again I sort of am. But honestly, 22 years without sex, I am 100% positive once it's done, I'm going to be like "why'd I wait so long?"
Regardless. I'm afraid that the moment will come with someone I really like and we're in this compromising position and I blurt out that I'm a virgin. That's going to be the moment of truth and the more I think about that, the more I realize that this is the reason that I can't be more self confident in my boy-snagging skills.
Making out is one thing, but that's fine for a bar hookup or a casual date. I am definitely NOT a casual dater, so if I were to date a person it would probably mean that this will come up in conversation.
I'm thinking waaaay too much about this. But I'm convinced that this is the reason I'm still single.
I guess it's a good thing that i'm not a "hook up girl" then. Sex is going to mean something more to me than just a physical need fulfillment. I'll just be on a mission to find someone who I trust with that information.


Larissa said...

hey at least you're not 25 ;-). and i know how you feel on this, when you're flirting with a guy it's always there in the back of your head isn't it? it's not really something i'm ashamed of anymore -- as you know I say it's an accident (I even wrote a quiz about this today, hehe)-- but it's more that i get tired of explaining it to folks that look at me like i'm a unicorn.

Anonymous said...

I'm 26 and in the same boat! It doesn't really bother me that much but I am always thinking when is this going to come up!

NotCharlotte said...

Yeah, I'm almost to the point where I just want it over and done with, but then again I'm still a hopeful believer in the fact that my first time should be with someone special and be amazing.

Which brings me to another question:
would you want it to be with someone who is more experienced with your or a virgin like yourself?
That could be a post in and of itself...

Laurie (aka buggy) said...

You're obviously highly respectable and classy and so I have a feeling that when you meet the person you are going to end up "with" for the first time, it will not at all be hard for you to say or deal with. You're the type of person that will make sure it is someone you know and trust and love so by that point it wouldn't ever be awkward and they'd know this about you.
And I can't think of any guy I've ever known who wouldn't be HAPPIER to hear it would be the first time.

I waited till I was 21 girlfriend.

Anonymous said...

OMG! That is so hard to think whether you would want it to be your partners first time also. But I guess it doesn't really matter to me! Both ways definitely have pros and cons!

NotCarrie said...

Laurie has a good point about it happening with someone you at least care about and that's enough for it not to be a horrible experience. Getting it on with some stranger from a bar as your first time seems like a definite route to it being awkward if indeed you "blurt out" (ha) that you're a V right before you bone. But with someone you care about? If the caring goes both ways I think it will be fine:)

BossMack said...

Flavor Baby!

CoatMan said...

Hello, early filterer! Welcome to my world ;-)

jo said...

wow! lately there seems to be a lot of virginity talk... haha!

i think it's great that sex is more than just a physical need fufilment thing for you. and it should be. be proud that you're sticking to your guns.

NotCharlotte said...

Laurie: thanks, I like to think I'm pretty classy myself ;-) And i've heard that about guys not having a problem with it being a girls' first time... but i've found the opposite with certain cases.

Coatman: you hit it right on the head!! That's exactly what I am!

Jo: It isn't just a physical need fulfillment for me NOW, but I think that once i get started, i may not be able to stop! ;-)

Laurie (aka buggy) said...

really? I can't imagine finding the opposite. =/
I thought they'd be happy you'd be fresh meat.
^and I don't mean "fresh meat" in a bad way.

NotCarrie said...

I think, in a non-relationship situation, a guy might feel pressure to take the chick's flower. (Some guys, not all) They might be worried the girl will want something more even if it's declared a "just sex" thing.

I'm just relaying what SOME (not all) guys have said.

seraphim said...

My friend is a 28 year old virgin. Don't think about it so much, it only puts a bigger weight on what you already feel. When the time comes you'll know what to do, you have to trust that.

NotCarrie said...

Virgins are the new cool!