Thursday, February 23, 2006
Fight or flight...our survival instinct can give us a competitive edge in life and romance. What happens if we really use our survival instinct in some things? Am I doomed to a slow, romantic death because I can't compete for a man and would rather say 'fuck it' and walk away? The whole bar scene, for example. If I'm in a more relaxed setting or a place that is less crowded, I do fine. I find I can flirt and hold my own. Throw me into the Hookup Superbowl that most bars become on a Friday or Saturday night, and I'm like a turtle withdrawing into its protective shell. I'd rather not play than have to compete and risk injury. It's not just the bar scene. I had this realization the other night with NotGraceful. We were in a situation where we were both kind of ignoring eachother and flirting with other people. Even though he kept meeting my eye and I had the feeling it was being done for my benefit, my instinctual reaction was to want to storm off and "give up". If he wanted any of those clearly unworthy girls, then he could have them. I wasn't about to step up my game and compete. In addition to being hypocritical (hello...I was playing the same game), I'm dooming myself to always being a benchwarmer. Maybe I need to take a lesson from Dolly and not only try my hand at competition but learn how to win.