Wednesday, November 30, 2005

I believe in symmetry

I have a problem.
His name is NotHusband.
He is my best friend, without a doubt, but lately I've been wanting to punch him in the gut.
We've been "married" since February but as of late it's like we really are. I can't do much of anything unless he's involved (Not that i don't want to, but just having the option to...). I'm not allowed to talk to other boys around him without him getting really jealous.
That's what bothers me most. I can't talk about boys around him. I can't mention that i like flirting. Or that i want a boyfriend.
You'd think that with a "gay boyfriend" you'd be able to talk about guys and share secrets about weddings and stuff. Not with this guy.
To be honest, i have my doubts as to whether or not he's really gay. Then he starts singing along to Mariah Carey, complete with the high notes and I think in my head "oh, there's no way in hell he's not."
So the past few months he and I have been really close. We even go on "double dates" with our fianced friends and have the best time ever. We scare them by arguing about the names of our children and tease/argue/flirt like a married couple. And it's been fun, don't get me wrong...
But then it reached it's head. The same night of our wonderful double date, we decided to meet up with NotDave for some drinks. The fiance's had to leave, so it was just me and NotHusband going. Big mistake. The ENTIRE time he acted like my boyfriend, hands on me, calling me "hon" and making not only me but NotDave uncomfortable as hell.

So we left early and on the way home i burst out at him, asking him why he was like this.
"I DON'T KNOW IF I'M GAY" he shouted. i was silent. then the story came tumbling out. He doesn't ever like me talking about men around him. he wishes all of his girl friends would be single forever just so he can have them all to himself. he can actually see himself marrying me and me having our children.

"That selfish bastard" was all i could think to myself. By the time we reached my house we had decided that this conversation had never happened. But it's still in my mind.

So a couple weeks pass and just when i think it's okay, he starts pulling the same shit again. this time about NotGay. "I'm not in a NotGay mood, don't invite him on Friday."
I rolled my eyes at him and called him out. "you just don't want me flirting with him, do you?" and he said "no."
Then he pulled that same line about wanting his girl friends to just be single forever.

So you know what i did? I invited him anyway.
This is my life. I do NOT want to be some fag hag for my prime years. If this means that i have to "break it off" with NotHusband for awhile then maybe that's what i have to do.

And this is why men and women can never just be friends...


NotCarrie said...

Definitely don't let him get away with being so selfish.

NotMiranda said...

Stay strong.

Marissa said...

Wow. THAT is frustrating!!!!! You do your thing, invite who you want and live your life. That's so selfish of NotHusband! He cannot have his cake and eat it, too!

chelsea said...

Well done NotCharlotte. I love reading about gals who have got their head on straight.