Tuesday, July 29, 2008

May December

I stared at my computer screen for at least a minute, trying to make sense of the image in front of me. A picture of the newly married husband and wife. Three days later and no sense has been made. I still can't even wrap my mind around it. I think I've told anyone I can, just to share the craziness and everyone has the same reaction: "EW!"

That's what you say when you hear a girl two years younger than you married your college professor who is at least 60.

EW!!!!

Now, maybe I'm judging the situation quickly because I haven't talked to her in a few years and haven't talked to him in an even longer time, but one thing I do know is that I am not attracted to men older than my father. The very idea kind of grosses me out.

In the past few days, as I have tried to be okay with this, I have had the following thoughts:

-OK, so maybe he's really sweet and they're in love....but in ten years he'll be 70 when she is 34! and when she is 44 he will be 80!!!! And 40 is the new 30, which makes it even worse. I can't knock the mental image of Anna Nicole Smith (RIP) kissing her decrepid, old husband. NOT HOTT!
-OK, so I'll admit some older men have been attractive to me...but they usually don't look their age and also I am not planning on marrying said man, thus beginning the inevitable "when I am this age, he will be reallllly old."
-How did this tryst begin? How do you say, "You were always a great student. I loved your papers! NOW KISS ME!" or "You're a great teacher....that's always been a fantasy of mine..." EW!
-How do you bring your really old boyfriend when you hang out with your friends? Don't old people go to sleep early? And need to drink Metamucil?


What's the biggest age difference you've had between yourself and a suitor? I think for me it's only been a few years. I kind of gave myself a rule that I wouldn't date anyone older than my brother (who is six years older than me). It just seems weird in my mind otherwise. Not that I would turn down someone amazing, but generally speaking, I am NOT a fan of the May-December romance.

NotCarrie

16 comments:

dawn said...

I actually have never dated anyone more than a year older than me. I tend to date guys my own age or younger. Not sure why, that's just how it's always ended up! Although, I am generally not attracted to older men either. On a rare occasion I might think one is hot, but not sure I'd want to marry them!

Elisabeth said...

I dated a guy who was 17 yrs older once ( I was 26 and he was 43). Even though he's a nice guy, I realized we weren't in the same place in life. My current BF is 6.5 yrs older and I generally prefer 3-6 yrs age difference. If you look at my female friends, they are generally 3-10 yrs older as well (I guess I'm mature for my age).

HomeImprovementNinja said...

it makes no difference at all. When I was 27 I dated a woman who was 40. Now I'm 37 and dating a girl who's 24. In addition to being totally hot, she's very cool and fun to hang out with.

All that matters is what YOU feel. Your friend loves this guy, so I don't think she gives a crap that other people wouldn't make the same choices.

NotCarrie said...

Dawn- I would have to think long and hard before I married someone way older.

Elisabeth- I think you hit the nail on the head- I feel like with the majority of way older men, we'd be at different places in our lives.

Homeimprovementninja- Yeah, I'm just saying *I* don't get it. Mostly bc he was my professor and I never ever considered him as something other than that. I definitely think older/younger works for some people-of course it does.

Hardt in the City said...

The better question is not how she can bring her old man husband out with her young friends... but how do you introduce your boyfriend to your parents when there is a good chance he is older than them! I second your ewwww.

jo said...

i'm not really into men that are waay older. i would keep thinking bout how he's closer to my dad's age than mine. that's definitely a big EWW factor.

kissashark said...

Hope you don't mind the random comment, found you on Martinis for Two blogroll. I have never dated a man my own age and in fact married a man 19 years my senior, I'm 34 he's 51 and we've been together for a decade now and are very happy! It does take some consideration but men my own age just never worked for me! Just thought I'd share the other side.

Affiliate Marketing Tips said...

Well,Love is blind but after reading this it sounds that love is foolish also.

A Girl In The World said...

My current boyfriend is 10 years older than me. I am 30 and he is 40. That has been working very well for the last year. Now, he doesn't look 40... and he definitely has some very youthful qualities. Before that, I was married to a man that was 4 years older than me and I always felt like I was more mature than him by far. I also dated guys that were as much as 16 years older than me before I met my current boyfriend but once I got into that 44-45 year old range I felt like there was a little too much difference. I guess what I am saying is that it depends on the person. My boyfriend now just feels more to me like a 35 year old. So that fact that he is 40 doesn't really matter. :)

Roxy said...

I dated a man who was 22years older than me. I was 25 and he was 47. Great guy, but he wanted long-term and I wanted to party.

NotCarrie said...

Keep in mind that another reason this is so freaky to me is because this man was my teacher. I have never had a crush on a teacher so it just feels WRONG. YUCK. you have to add like 10 years to your teacher's real age.

Anonymous said...

My mental rule has always been my age divided by 6 is how many years I 'can' date up or down. In terms of making sure we're in relatively the same place in life and able to relate, it's always felt like a good threshold.

LL said...

Don't knock it until you've tried it.

I'm 26 and I only date older men.

When I was 25, I dated a 45 year old. At 26, I dated a 46 year old. Both were absolutely handsome. They treated wonderfully, too, and age was never an issue.

Again, don't knock it. You don't know what goes on between two people

Anonymous said...

That's funny, I thought women were all about what's inside that counts. Seems you're just as shallow as men, only men are man enough to admit it.

Courtney said...

When I was 20 I had a little thing going on with a neighbor who was 33...

D said...

Let's support the uphill struggle of people making individual choices in NYC. There is very much a "code" to everything here. It is great that all the ambitious overachieving types try to check off all the right answers: be clever, be well travelled, be fashionable, be in shape, etc...
But coupled with the tendency for people to hang out only within their own very narrow demographic slice, this does not make for the most adventurous social interactions.
How many times do you see people of different socioeconomic backgrounds or ages or even style sensibilities interacting here? Yes I realize it is more likely that you get along with someone with similar backgrounds. But I think interactions between "different" people are more rare here than elsewhere.