I just got my knickers in such a twist at work that I had to take a break and rant about it. Excuse me while I get up on my soapbox.
(clears throat)
I am TIRED of nice guys and the nice guy excuse! The nice guy who won't make the first move seems to be all I'm surrounded by. I am even going to remove myself and the boys who enthrall me from the equation. Let me just talk about the boy friends that I have and the women who are smitten with them. When will these men learn that being nice isn't an excuse for a lack of balls? Yes, we understand that you're afraid of rejection and lack confidence just like women, but has this become a pandemic? Are men putting their foot down and refusing to make the first move, preferring to remain single and celebate (with the exception of their hand)? You know what...I could even accept that. Lay down the law and say you're tired of bearing all of the burden of the chase. However, don't say that the reason you're single and can never find a girl is because you are too nice. Perhaps the reason you're single is because you need to grow a pair.
5 comments:
Don't hold back...tell us how you really feel. Share your feelings with the group.
I've always been a nice guy dater. They make the BEST boyfriends. Do you know how we get together?
I MAKE THE MOVE.
If your girlfriends are smitten, play a little matchmaker to see if the boys are interested in any of them. If so, encourage the GIRL friend to make the move.
check check... stepping off my soap box.
But you shouldn't always HAVE TO MAKE THE MOVE! I agree. The nice guys complain about finishing last- well sometimes it's because they don't even start the race!
No one should always have to make the first move, but people who go for what they want are more likely to get what they want.
Dating is a two way street. The complainers, regardless of gender, should to go after what they want.
Here is a little male perspective to complement the gazillion single NYC female blogs/articles:
It is wonderful that NYC is so full of clever, attractive singles. But that very abundance quickly breeds a cynicism. The following may be less true when dealing with friends or friends of friends (people who know something about you and can trust you more.) But if a man alone approaches an unknown, cute girl, how likely is it that she will give him the benefit of the doubt instead of concluding he is a player and "must be doing this 10 times/day"?
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