This morning was spent catching up on homework that I had been pushing back for weeks. Two o'clock rolled around and much to my surprise, I was almost done with my 5 page paper on Tennyson's "The Lady of Shalott" and figured I would have enough time to spruce up before heading out to my poetry group meeting and a nice Valentine's day dinner/shopping episode with NotMiranda.
I put on my warmest sweater, cutest shoes, and brightest scarf and I was heading out the door a good hour early so I would have time to sweep the glorious snow off my Toyota and head out for some coffee before creating some beautiful rhythms of the poem kind.
It only took me fifteen minutes to sweep off my car, so I was in good spirits. I loved the way the snow crunched under my feet as I happily moved from one side of the car to the other and gleefully I splayed icy snow everywhere.
I got in my car, all warmed up already, and was listening to my wonderful XM radio as I put my car into reverse and started, with just a slow push of my accelerater, down my driveway....
into the depths of an icy Hell. I get to the bottom of my not-to-steep driveway and that's about it. Lola's wheel's would not go any further. I tried going forwards. I tried going backwards. I tried moving my body back and forth, in hopes that it would give my car the extra oomph it needed to safely get me to the open road.
No such luck. I bang my head against my steering wheel, feeling like an escaped convict that's just been tricked. I slowly pull myself out of the car to see that I had simply forgotten the 1 foot snowbank that surrounded my block like a castle moat. I stood there, shocked at my own ignorance and quickly moved to the sidewalk after seeing several trucks with shovels attached to them swerve out of the way of my car. Sharks!
I trudge back to my house, this time a bit more perturbed and suddenly notice the snow caving into my shoes. I kick them off in a fit of rage and go inside to call the only man i know-- my father. He tells me what to do and I don't like the sound of it. Me, with a shovel? and KITTY LITTER? Heaven forbid! I go upstairs to complain via im to NotMiranda, who immediately calls a cab to come save me. I shove my feet into the only boots I can find- big black honkers with no toe-wiggle room or hott factor-- and trudge back outside with my handy dandy beige shovel and big blue bag of Fresh Step.
I shovelled like a champ, getting what I thought was every bit of icy snow that blocked my poor Lola's wheels from the dark pavement. I sprayed kitty litter everywhere and felt like my cat, almost had sympathy for her getting that shit everywhere when she was marking her territory.
I get back into my car with renewed courage. I start the ignition, put the car into reverse...
And smell nothing but burning rubber. Dejected, I start making phone calls. My knights in shining armor turn into ladies with indie craft spirit and when they arrive, we will burn the snow away with our sharp wit and photographic lenses.
Ah, screw it.
Where the fuck is my knight in shining armor?