Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Snow Blows

This morning was spent catching up on homework that I had been pushing back for weeks. Two o'clock rolled around and much to my surprise, I was almost done with my 5 page paper on Tennyson's "The Lady of Shalott" and figured I would have enough time to spruce up before heading out to my poetry group meeting and a nice Valentine's day dinner/shopping episode with NotMiranda.
I put on my warmest sweater, cutest shoes, and brightest scarf and I was heading out the door a good hour early so I would have time to sweep the glorious snow off my Toyota and head out for some coffee before creating some beautiful rhythms of the poem kind.
It only took me fifteen minutes to sweep off my car, so I was in good spirits. I loved the way the snow crunched under my feet as I happily moved from one side of the car to the other and gleefully I splayed icy snow everywhere.
I got in my car, all warmed up already, and was listening to my wonderful XM radio as I put my car into reverse and started, with just a slow push of my accelerater, down my driveway....

into the depths of an icy Hell. I get to the bottom of my not-to-steep driveway and that's about it. Lola's wheel's would not go any further. I tried going forwards. I tried going backwards. I tried moving my body back and forth, in hopes that it would give my car the extra oomph it needed to safely get me to the open road.

No such luck. I bang my head against my steering wheel, feeling like an escaped convict that's just been tricked. I slowly pull myself out of the car to see that I had simply forgotten the 1 foot snowbank that surrounded my block like a castle moat. I stood there, shocked at my own ignorance and quickly moved to the sidewalk after seeing several trucks with shovels attached to them swerve out of the way of my car. Sharks!

I trudge back to my house, this time a bit more perturbed and suddenly notice the snow caving into my shoes. I kick them off in a fit of rage and go inside to call the only man i know-- my father. He tells me what to do and I don't like the sound of it. Me, with a shovel? and KITTY LITTER? Heaven forbid! I go upstairs to complain via im to NotMiranda, who immediately calls a cab to come save me. I shove my feet into the only boots I can find- big black honkers with no toe-wiggle room or hott factor-- and trudge back outside with my handy dandy beige shovel and big blue bag of Fresh Step.
I shovelled like a champ, getting what I thought was every bit of icy snow that blocked my poor Lola's wheels from the dark pavement. I sprayed kitty litter everywhere and felt like my cat, almost had sympathy for her getting that shit everywhere when she was marking her territory.

I get back into my car with renewed courage. I start the ignition, put the car into reverse...

And smell nothing but burning rubber. Dejected, I start making phone calls. My knights in shining armor turn into ladies with indie craft spirit and when they arrive, we will burn the snow away with our sharp wit and photographic lenses.

Ah, screw it.
Where the fuck is my knight in shining armor?

9 comments:

NotCarrie said...

Glad you made it out!

Theo said...

Wow... Same thing just happened to me.

My neighbors do not appreciate the sound of extensive wheelspin, nor the starting of my frozen tow truck at 1AM...

Although my burning question has been answered; Why the hell do I own a tow truck?!

Melinda said...

I've been reading this blog for a really long time and have to say that this was one of the best written posts so far.

Sometimes girlfriends are just as good as a knight in shining armour - hope Lola got out okay.

(and here's hoping for an early spring)

recovering overachiever said...

Sorry your night didn't go as planned. I hope it got better!

Chuckles said...

Someone may have said something to you about this earlier in the day. That someone may have sounded like a father and may have said EXACTLY THE SAME THING AS YOUR DAD, but lo and behold, he was SO RIGHT.

I am not gloating. No, ma'am, I am also not saying I told you so. That would be uncouth.

NotCharlotte said...

NotCar: ME TOO! Thanks for driving last night :-)

Theo: Where were you when I needed you?

Melinda: Thanks, that means a lot :-)

Overachiever: Oh, it went just as I had planned, minus a few road blocks.

Chuckles: For some reason, I don't think you care about "couth."

Theo said...

NotCharlotte:

I was probably en route to work. We talked about two hours before you posted this. :p

And what're you talking about no hott factor in big black boots?

Harleyblue said...

God I hate the snow. Where I live, if it snows, you don't leave the house. Everything closes and you sit inside and veg out. But it never snows here.

allan said...

A friend of mine was leaving for a girl's weekend on Thursday. She needed her second spot cleared out because people were meeting at her house.

Around 11:00 I get a page from her, she can't even crack the ice with her snow shovel. I go to Home Depot, buy a pick-axe and spend the next hour and a half breaking through the ice/snow and clearing out her spot.