Monday, February 05, 2007

No, I don't want electrolysis for Valentine's Day

I'm ambivalent this year about Valentine's Day. Or I will be until the day arrives and then I flip out because once again I don't have a Valentine of my very own, but that's another post for another time.

This evening on my drive home I was listening to the radio and one of the commercials had two women talking about the latest in electrolysis and fat removal. And while I tend to tune this out, I was surprised by the next words that came from the voice over.

"Give this as a gift this Valentine's Day." (I'm paraphrasing, but you get it, right?).

It was enough to make me almost slam on the breaks. Give the gift of a hairless crotch, back, underarm or the gift of a cellulite free butt or thighs. I know that we're a bit superficial, but this was almost too much for me to take. What happened to the flowers and jewelry? Three day weekends, promise rings and engagements...? Is this what Valentine's Day has finally evolved into? Give the gift of beauty, because you're not impressed with the person you're attached to as is?

I'm only 27 soon to be 28 and I feel really old because I expect the romance of Valentine's Day on Valentine's Day, not the superficial claptrap that we can get every other day of the year. If there are any guys who read this blog, do the women in your lives a favor...give them romance on V-Day. Long slow kisses to wake them, bunches of their favorite flowers at their desk at work, surprise dinners at their favorite restaurants, etc. And ladies you too. Give him, the shower girl special in the morning, silk boxers to cradle his bits all day, flashes of thigh (or his favorite body part) while at dinner. Quite honestly, I would like to do and have these things done for me on the daily basis if I were in a relationship, but I'm not so I have to settle for telling others what to do.


NotCharlotte said...

you would think that people would forward to February 15th more... (Steak and BJ Day)

That does sicken me though. Take your girl out to dinner and while she's eating slip her a coupon over the table for some nice, painful lipo.

btw, if any of you single guys out there want to take any of us lovely ladies on a valentines date... let us know.

NotCarrie said...

I have class on the 14th so my Valentine gets me on the 15th:) Oh yeah, steak!

Cody said...

I'm for steaks and bjs. But, I probably won't get either this year. Yeah, more like ramen noodles and self-gratification for me.

Anonymous said...

Cody: Masturbation and a self cooked meal are usually better anyhow...

No guilt associated with giving someone else botulism or for finishing first and wanting to go straight to sleep.

Px said...

to all the nots
romance is still alive and kicking over here, V-Day hasn't become the over commercialised holiday excuse to buy anything/everything for you S.O. but it's still a time to go out for a nice meal, send flowers and cards to that special someone, and most of all, pepper them with kisses, the little butterfly ones, the long slow and tender ones, the big sloppy ones, the passoinate , forceful "i-want-you-now" ones
it's all about the lips

and what's this steak and bj day?

Dave Richards said...

Well Valentines Day is almost here and people are getting pretty excited about it now...but well it's a celebration of love and not just restricted to couples...well to enjoy some cool Valentines Day goodies be sure to drop by my blog sometime and check out all that i've posted there!!!

Groanin' Jock said...

I proposed to my (now) wife on Valentine's Day two years ago - the single most expensive day of my life, but worth every penny ;-)

Roxy said...

I always say Romance is on its death bed. There's my confirmation.

Anonymous said...

I wonder where one learns to be romantic... Are there community college courses on the subject?

NotSamantha said...

NCh - Never heard of Steak and BJ day, but if its what I'm thinking, then that could be good.

NCa - Education before romance, definitely worth missing the day, especially if you get makeup V-Day the next day.

Cody - I agree with theo on this one, the best love one can have when alone is that with least you won't get angry with yourself if you have to sleep in the wet spot.

Px - love your many kisses, the problem is having someone to get them from/give them to.

DR - V-day goodies are always fun, but I want to get them from someone, and give them to someone in turn.

GJ - Congrats, see you did it up right on V-Day.

Roxy - Possibly on its Deathbed, I keep hoping someone will give it some form of resusitation...

Theo - If they offered college courses on this, I can almost guarantee some very packed classes.

Johnny said...

I call it Cake and steak day.

Your cake. My steak.

Knows what I means?


Chuckles said...

There should be a blog meetup at some location that week, perhaps Cafe Saint-Ex or the Black Cat. We could all get tore up and enjoy our not-giving-a-second-thought-to-

I have to move on the 15th but the 16th is wide open. In fact, the Black Cat is free on the 16th.

NotCharlotte said...

theo- have you had a bad v-day in the past?

px- steak and bj day is just what the title suggests. think of it as "payback" for spending so much money on your girl the day before.

johnny- i prefer CUPcake and steak day.

chuckles- alas, we are not free the 16th...

Harleyblue said...

I hate Valentine's Day. It's a "hallmark" holiday and reason to spend money in the down quarter of the year. That's all. Even when I have someone, I could care a less about the day. Does that make me bitter?

NotCarrie said...

That's why it's awesome to have a birthday so close to V-Day. I could not care less* about Valentines' Day when it's MY BIRTHDAY A FEW DAYS LATER!!!!!

*Although, if anyone wants to mo in celebration, I'm game.

Px said...

i know that problem only too well, which is a shame as i have so much to give

i see
but seeing as i'm not spending any money as there is no-one to spend it on, i'll not be getting steak or a bj...bugger :(

NotCharlotte said...

alas, i have no one to spend money on me..
it's too bad because i give really good... steak dinners.

(sorry, I couldn't help myself)

Jos said...

I must confess it's just another day for me. No flowers, chocolates, etc. In fact, this year I will be out of the country. . . SOLO!

Isabella Snow said...

LOL, did they really say "crotch?"

Anonymous said...

!Charlotte: Ever had a bad VD-Day?

Is there a scale? Can one be so bad that it makes someone else's "bad" day seem kinda pleasent.

Actually, I can't remember any valentine's days... Ever. They just blend into any other day.

Take that as good or bad; Your pick.

Why do you ask?