Friday, November 24, 2006

Coal to Diamonds

So I'm in Wisconsin again for Thanksgiving. I had another good run-in with the Grambo, which I will go into detail as soon as I can wrap my head around it.
My family likes to go to the casino. It's hereditary because my Grandmother and all of her children like to do it.
So we took a "family outing" to the local gambler's paradise to do some bonding. Within the first 20 minutes I had already strayed from the herd and was tapping away my 20 bucks, 40 pennies at a time. I was mid-spin when the machine went blank and then a bunch of techy code came across the screen with the words "call attendant" at the very top. I didn't think that my $17.67 was anywhere close to a jackpot, so I pressed the buttons, all of them, and none of them worked.

my little ticket, my gambling money, was stuck in that machine and I couldn't leave because I was by myself. So I sat there for a minute. Then I saw a tall guy with a gray polo shirt on and a walkie talkie so I asked him for some help. He told me that he was on his way to another machine but he'd be right back. So I sit back down and try to look like I just won a shitload of money, that's why I'm not spending more. 5 minutes later two more tall, wholesome, corn-fed hunks of men in the same kind of gray polos come by. "We heard your machine was stuck."
I couldn't help myself. I put my hand on my hip and gave them a NotCharlotte special with my eyes and proceeded to act like a helpless doe in the brambles. The men proceeded to stumble over each other, stooges-style, trying to fix my machine. While one started banging on the side really hard to get it to restart (they do things real advanced up in the Great Lakes area), the other one took the opportunity to chat me up. We were animatedly talking about the pot luck they were having in the back room when the first guy that helped me shows up. He comes into the conversation too and we're really getting into it, talking about pumpkin pie and turkey. Then another guy shows up, with a button up instead, obviously a manager. He asks me how I'm doing and then joins right into the conversation.
So let's recap:
3 men in gray polos
1 man in a button up shirt
4 of us talking about food
1 banging the crap out of a penny machine
20 machines around the one that the guy is banging on

At one point, a woman in a blazer/nametag combo comes by and goes "wow, how many of you need to be here right now?"
This caused a shuffle of red-faced Dockers-wearing employees as 2 of the men disappeared. At this point the machine was never going to work so the manager signed off on something and the one banging the machine went and got me cash for my ticket.

I thanked all of them and went on my way.

When I later told this story to my G-Ma and Aunt, they thought it was really amusing. My Aunt then explained: "It's hunting season. The stags are all in a tizzy about the does running around, ripe for mating so it gets the men all riled up too. This time a year, men are only after two things: Deer and Women. Go anywhere in a tight sweater and you've got them wrapped around your finger."

I then realized why she is not my favorite aunt.


Anonymous said...

At least it's flattering you attracted so many men! Ha. I don't really get the whole hunting season thing. All the local schools in Ohio have Monday off because it's hunting season. Really sad this doesnt carry over to college, as well. Hope you otherwise had a good Thanksgiving!

Miss Browneyedgirlie said...

LOL - that was awesome.

Only in the Midwest; oh how I miss it.

Serena said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
NotMiranda said...


NotCarrie said...

haha...huntin'. Loves it!

you and the gamblin', haha.

Anonymous said...


That is one awesome Thanksgiving story. Thanks for the laugh.

Dawn said...

OMG...was it Oneida? I used to live in Neenah and my mom would go there all the time...I still don't get the attraction.

NotSamantha said...

Deer huntin' babe huntin'. As long as they can run it to ground guys love it.

Great story!

Anonymous said...

haha!! The poor guys were embarrassed by their manager. Just HOW many guys DOES it take to help a doe with a stuck ticket?
Oh,... ALL of them! :-)

NotCharlotte said...

Dawn- it wasn't Oneida... it was near the Dells.

The good thing though is that i won 450 bucks!!!

Anonymous said...

i can't believe your aunt likened you to a deer. i guess it could have been worst. haha! but it was funny.

and i loved how you worked it. in whatever situation, you worked it haha! you get 4 guys stumbling over to help you AND 450 bucks? sweet!