Ok, let's be honest here. If I wanted to go out tonight and have sex, I could. I think if any of us really wanted to have sex tonight we could. I have some of those nosy friends who, after not seeing them for weeks or even months, will see me and say, "So, seeing anyone?" And the even nosier friends who want to know the extent I went with past guys...like it's any of their business. In a way it's girl-talk and with some I'll go there, but I hate when it gets that "Never Have I Ever" feel to it and all of a sudden what I do with a guy turns into something like a medical history. Where what I have and have not done with certain guys turns into normal and not normal and people try to say what "should" happen. I hate that! Like that recent poll where the majority of women said they sleep with a guy on the 3rd date? OK, the secondary results of that poll were, "NotCarrie is a prude." Whatever, I don't care. I decided a year or so ago to be way more private with that information** anyway. I don't need to rent out billboards to let the world know what I'm doing.*** I'm not in college anymore where I'm playing drinking games and pretending like I have in fact done some crazy sex-act outdoors involving watermelon and in December (Drink if you have!). If I do end up doing that (weird), I'm going to keep it to myself. (OK, maybe I'll tell you guys.)
But info on me isn't what we want on a Friday afternoon, is it? We want salaciousness. We want stories. We want to come back to work on Monday with stuff to talk about on gmail all day. I'm all over the place with this post today and the real reason I started it like I did is because of this chick who is all over the internet right now. Am I really supposed to believe she can't get laid? I find this ridiculous. I can easily count a handful of male friends who I could call up to have sex with me and I am confident at least 3 would and the other 2 wouldn't only because they might have girlfriends. I could go to a bar tonight and say to someone, "let's go bone" and it may take a few tries, but I'm sure I could find one. Hell, put an ad on Craigslist and you'll get responses within the hour.
Now, of course, this isn't the kind of sex people are looking for it. If it was, we'd all just be out slapping nasties all the time. The majority of us want the relationship, too. And no STDs. We want to to be attracted to someone and have the feeling be mutual. We want a lot more than sex. Sex is easy.
*A slight exaggeration.
**Said like Cami on LB.
**Haha, makes me laugh since I am, in fact, NotCarrie.
28 comments:
Amen Sista! I am totally with you on the private thing. I dunno why people are totally interested in my love or sex life. If I wanted to give you details, I would.
I never heard of that chick and I find it extremely disturbing and kind of pathetic that someone would advertise themselves like that to the world. You are still a virgin at 30. Great, here's a cookie! I admire the fact that you are still a V, but what are you doing?! She says "there is nothing stranger than having your relatives at a family dinner rattle off who they know might be a 'good first,' I can think of something stranger! Advertising your virginity to the world and wanting to lose it before your 30th! Dude, get a life!! You are pimping yourself! Do you want a movie deal out of this?!
DCvita- I would be mortified to have my family think of potential sex partners for me. Oh gawd! Why is virginity so publicized anyway? Like with the recent Hilary Duff reports? Or the fact that I know Lisa Kudrow was 32 or something and married when she lost it? It's WEIRD to know that.
Wait a minute--is that for real? That crazy girl, who went to JANE magazine to lose her virginity?? c'mon. COME On, now. I don't buy it. NotCarrie you are sooo right: she could go out (esp. in NYC) any night of the week and find someone who would have sex with her. She should call it what it is: she wants a relatioship--not just sex. Tyring to paint it as something it's not (I just want to have sex before I am 30--poor, pitiful me!) is just annoying.
dcvita you are soo right: she's pimping herself out--hahahahahA! It is pathetic, and really sad, that she is almost 30 years old, and still soo concerned about 'losing' it that she would let JANE Magazine help her pick someone for such an important decision. yikes...
Wait. Lisa Kudrow was 32??! ;-)
How is this going to help her? Wouldn't a guy be turned off and wondering why she's still a virgin at 30?
I'd be embarassed if I were her.
ok, i am trying for the 3534659th time to post this comment.
1. never have i ever was my nemesis in college because i hate to talk about what i've done (or, mostly, what i haven't done)...says the girl who blogs on a dating blog. but, fair readers, you may have noticed that, although i am a "dating blogger," i rarely, if ever, give details. in fact, thinking about it often makes me blush. and i would hate to be "discovered" by someone like, oh, my father.
2. i agree with you that it's easy, if you so wish, to go out there and get some. however, the "some" you would get (not that i ever would go out there with that purpose...you know my feelings re: strangers) is not the "some" you want.
3. i don't think it's as much, for that girl, "i can't get anyone to sleep with me" as it is (or should be, in my opinion) "i want quality." but then again, if that were the case, she wouldn't be going to jane for "help." i mean, there are always guys out there who want to sleep with you, even if they don't readily admit it at the time (ie they just want to "hang out" and alcohol is involved). as a very good friend of mine once said, "when did it become okay to hang out with our clothes off?"
God that's so embarassing. Fair enough if someone wants to wait until they find "the one" but splashing yourself all over a magazine trying to get it before you are thirty is just...desperate.
Sex is always the easy part of every relationship. It's a shame that some of us haven't figured that out yet.
p.s. Nothing wrong with being a prude. ;)
Of course she could find sex before Nov. 7th, 2006... who is she kidding? Why would you exploit yourself like that by contacting a magazine to assist you in getting your sex on before you turn 30? She is so full of caca.
This is "Sarah's" blog.. feel free to comment. hahaha.
http://www.janemag.com/memos/blogs/sarah/2006/08/hi_im_sarah_hoo.html
Haha Jordan, your comment is the best....
She's a comic, she's looking for publicity...for some reason she chose her virginity as the means to get it.
What a joke.
And with some of the comments that were made on her blog, if I had waited for my honeymoon to lose my V, my honeymoon would've been a disaster.
i've actually got to work on the privacy thing...but really...some of the stuff is too unbelieveable to keep to myself!
You're right though - sex is out there, easy sex is out there, BAD sex is definitely out there...
How much ya want to bet that chick isn't really a virgin :)
You guys are right! Being a virgin or not is definitely not something to make public knowledge across the internet.
And yeah - I don't know why it's being made such a public issue. It's almost like a novelty act - a sideshow exhibit at the circus.
haha of course we could all get laid! if only there were no STDs, morals, and scary men - it would be a super plan! but i had never heard about all these girls that were going to mags, desperate to lose it...good lord! def not a thing to broadcast to the entire globe.
by the way, i've got a new blog - no more "looking for mr wonderful"...the new one is daylightdreaming.blogspot.com...same ridiculous pseudodrama from before. :)
Manda- I'm glad you're alive! I was worried.
I definitely think to each their own regarding how much they want to share about their sex lives (or lack of.) I share when I want to share and not because I feel obligated. I've had friends who told me I was to call them immediately should something happen. I'm going to see one of them this weekend and I already know what he's going to ask. For him, though, it's none of his business.
This was a good post! I think for many of us, keeping our sex lives private is important. For others, it's no big deal to reveal every detail. I think there's a certain line where it's okay to talk to certain people about the finer details, and then to reveal that to other people is just wrong. You're definitely right.
And I have to commend you on summing um a concept that I'd been trying to succinctly say. Sex is just sex, and most of us do want something more. I think it's difficult to have one without the other.
This post reminded me of girls I knew in high school who used to have detailed conversations about their sex lives. It was pretty shocking to those of us who were still virgins at the time - I remember wondering why the hell stand-up sex while looking out the window to make sure nobody sees you at a family reunion was something to brag about...
Yes sex is everywhere, yes you can get it if you need to scratch an itch. But I agree that if you want something special it takes more time than a couple of drinks at a club.
Mostly, I am disappointed in JANE for doing this. I can't help but feel that the old (eponymous) editor might have been like "Um... are you kidding me?? Why don't we just buy her a short skirt and 6 rounds of drinks and send her on her merry way?"
I agree. Ladies, in particular, would find it pretty easy to get laid if they wanted to!!! Perhaps this chick is just wayyyy to picky!
Karinaxoxo- So true! That's why I get annoyed at those nosy friend's of mine who act like I'm weird when I don't have some big sex-filled update for them. I AM being picky! But thinking back, I'm sooooooo glad for the decisions I've made and they can think whatever they want to think!
i can't believe this girl would do that... now that's just desperate. i'm sure she could easily find any guy in a club to lose her virginity to. this must be some new form of trying to get a relationship. great, now she's probably only gonna get the guys who are interested in deflowerment... somehow i doubt very much that that was exactly what she was looking for...
Great post. I remember when I was single how people used to ask the most inappropriate questions. It's as if my failing to be part of a couple meant that everyone could declare open season on me. I don't go around asking people single or not about their frickin sex lives.
Sex is so available and if you're not having it, it's because you don't want to, not because you can't. And yes it is freaky that I know that Lisa Kudrow lost her virginity at 32...
Congratulations!
You just won an e-lotto ticket.
This e-ticket is good for one ride on a big ole baloney pony of your choice.
Ride it hard, sista!
muhaha
What a loser! I haven't heard of that girl before, and hardly believe her story form what I can tell. There is a guy who is doing the same thing. He says he got turned down by Match.com. Go to www.settleforbrian.com to view his story. People are sad.
BTW, thanks for the comment!
Bringing back memories. I used to be able to play "I Never" back when I didn't drink. :)
Yeah, I read about this chick. If it's not fake, which is a big if, she's probably held out for it to really mean something and is just panicking. But yeah, unless you're a eunuch or have no social skills whatsoever, anyone can have meaningless sex if that's what they're looking for.
She's just being lazy hoping that Prince Charming will read Jane and flock to the rescue so she'll have a nice tidy package of love and sex within the next 2 months. I'd have to think that if she has a soul, she'll regret this. Not having sex before 30 isn't pathetic AT ALL. Starting a magazine contest to lose your alleged virginity? Now THAT's pathetic.
I totally agree Senor Beavis..it would suck if she's living by someone else's standards. Just because people are losing it younger and younger doesn't mean that's "normal."
Wouldn't it be funny if she got some and got knocked up or something?
knocked up.. LOL.. serves her right!!
I have a really hard time believing that chick can't get laid. Like you said, most of us can go into any bar, any night, anywhere and find at least one guy to take home (not that I'm condoning it).
What is with the girls who post websites hunting for a guy? First there was MarryBlaire.com spreading her vomitous fantasies of wanting to find Mr. right when the real reason she was single is because she was just too high maintenance and without a shred of self-awareness. Now this? This woman can't get laid? Seriously??? So, she's been hanging on to it for this long and now she's going to throw it away for publicity?
Have people just stopped trying to, you know, actually be talented and do the work necessary to get recognition? Why do people have to pimp themselves out using tacky publicity stunts? How about that crazy blog that appeared a few weeks ago about the woman who allegedly caught her husband cheating and caught it on tape. Total scam. It was a publicity stunt for a show on CourtTV. Gah.
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