Thursday, April 06, 2006

When a woman takes control

I'm a pretty upfront girl with my feelings, preferring to eventually bare all rather than twist in the wind. If anything, the back and forth with NotGraceful only demonstrated this further. However, this in-your-face blunt girl has been known to play her share of games in the battle of the sexes. For years, my relationship with NotEnough* has been one long tease, each of us playing and playing off of the other. Within the past couple of years, I actually feel like I've gained the upper hand. I know I'm not supposed to view my relationships with other people that way, but it is what it is. I discovered that NotEnough is your classic type who wants what he believes he cannot have. By being disinterested, I've taken control of the situation and can pretty much guarantee he'll make the first move. He also has a tendency to increase contact when he's on the outs with his current girl or when he's at the point in a relationship when tough decisions about the "relationship" need to be made. Yes, I'm that girl. Consider a recent email exchange after 3-4 months of no contact (my read in italics).

NotEnough: Looks like your old client is moving to Today. There is change afoot with the current girl, so I'm looking to re-establish a connection.

Me: Interesting. I'll have to read the article when I get a chance. Having problems are we? Well, I'm not about to seem interested in picking up where we left off.

NotEnough: So, how have you been? What's new in your life? Are you still with XXX? I won. He had to cave and show interest first.

Me: I've been good. Life is fun. I'm still with XXX, can't believe it has been almost five years. I'm getting antsy and looking for a change, though. Anyway, I have to run. That's all your getting for now! I don't need you, and right now I'm so busy living life that I can't even fill you in on how great everything has been.

NotEnough: In this day and age, I wouldn't consider five years antsy. Anyway, I'm still with XXX. NotFlorida has been living with me since October and just got a job a day ago - boutique law firm downtown. She starts next Tuesday and is then going to look for her own place. We should get together for a drink sometime. There could be trouble in paradise. Regardless, let's do drinks and makeout like we always do.

I would say that maybe I'm reading him wrong this time, but I haven't in the past. He's pretty consistent in his patterns. I haven't responded to the last email yet. Maybe I'm tired of playing the game. I can't say the satisfaction of a makeout session doesn't sound good, but then I'd just be that** girl again.

*...because for the life of me I can't remember what name I've given him in past posts.
**a future post by NotCarrie and me about how we've been that girl before.


NotCarrie said...

Work it and reverse it!

Dolly said...

The problem with being "that girl" is, as soon as you succumb to their charms, you also hand over the power.

jo said...

i'm interested in this future post...

and while i'm at it... can i make a future post request? can i ask how all you nots decided who was carrie, miranda, charlotte and samantha?

Betsy & Arlene said...

we've all been "that girl" - who hasn't?

Downtown said...

Brillant analysis of the intentions behind the emails... You handled yourself perfectly. We can all learn from you.

Laurie (aka buggy) said...

you are so clever to put this up. It's so funny - you just totally exposed what is really being said through a supposedly "casual" exchange of words between a male and female in that situation.

no more words..

just brilliant..