Wednesday, December 28, 2005

I do it my way

A few years ago I worked with NotPrincess. NotPrincess was definitely a diva wannabe but fell prey to the perils of social status as a newly arrived Washingtonian on the bottom of the DC food chain. When I came across NotPrincess, she had just left the Hill as a staff assistant for Kerry (Nebraska). Because of how little she made on the Hill, NotPrincess had developed this theory of dating that she called the theory of trois. She believed (and practiced) that, in order to keep herself fed and with enough drink to remain happy, she needed to be constantly dating at least three men. One of the three could be semi-serious and may get the goodies; however, the other two were to be led on for the sole purpose of free meals and drinks. The problem is that I am not NotPrincess, nor do I want to be. I would have a hard enough time working one man into my life, much less bouncing between three like a pinball. Of course, I do realize that the rules of changed. Dating and courting are evolving into what sometimes seems like one big mindfuck. This is why I have taken matters into my own hands and purchased the Guide to Procedural Dating. Less guide and more kit, this piece of marketing genius includes everything a Not girl needs to make dating more uniform in this century. It includes everything from attraction notification cards to a sexual intimacy agreement to an exclusivity contract (and more). Personally, I'm psyched to try this out. What better way to catch a man's attention than with an attraction notification card?!

6 comments:

NotCarrie said...

I'm so excited, the kit is cool!


I feel weird when someone pays for me, like there are unspoken expectations for later. Even though I know I don't "owe him anything" I'd still rather just pay for myself and avoid that awkwardness when I try to leave.

I-66 said...

Interesting...

This notification card... do you yourself deliver it or does someone else do it for you?

I have to say, regarding the paying... In a date scenario, we're (men) conditioned to assume that we will pay on the first date - especially if we do the initiating. Now, I'm going to make a run at insisting that I pay - but as an observer of my own "Rule of Two Insistances" I will only insist twice, giving her a chance to reconsider, before ceding.

NotMiranda said...

I think the cards should be delivered by the interested party. If you're gutsy enough to have the cards, you'd better be gutsy enough to hand them out ; )

I-66 said...

I must say that, as a long-time supporter of women not being afraid to try to pick up a guy, I might at first be shocked (and maybe slightly confused, never having seen such a thing) to recieve said card... but everything after that is gravy.

NotCarrie said...

I would be suspicious but that is in my nature. I used to think that when people asked me out it was a joke or something.

Woe is me;)


I would be so excited to have a secret admirerererer (how many "er"s?) now though!

Larissa said...

hilarious! you have to let us know if you give any of the cards out!