So often I hear the following phrase, "But I don't want to mess up our friendship." and for a long time I was not only someone uttering those same words but I was a firm believer that friendships should be taken care of. But the other day, it occured to me: Why be miserable maintaining a friendship when there could be so much more? Why live with the words "What if...?"
What if we date and can't get back to being friends?
Well, maybe if a friendship can't withstand a try at love it wasn't the most stable friendship to begin with. But what if...you never tried and you are only friends with Mr/Mrs. Right for the rest of your life?
I'm not even going to try to say I've met someone whom I would consider "Mr. Right" but, I know the frustration and at times, heartache of having an intense desire to know if there could be something more with a friend. They are feelings that have waned over the years so that now I know things worked out how they should have with those people. As I face these same situations at this point in my life, I definitely have a different outlook.
I have not come to a conclusion about potentially ending a friendship for a try at love. I'm torn over the following:
Which is worse...only being friends with someone who might be your "soul mate" (a future blog topic, yes) or losing some friends but finding The One in the long run?
4 comments:
I'm always one to believe "tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all"
I have to agree with NotSamantha wholeheartedly. That leap, no matter how brief it may be, is worth whatever fallout may come. I was in your shoes. We took that leap from friendship into "relationship", and I got to experience an amazing love for the next two years of my life. Even though it did end, I wouldn't change it for the world. Did we remain friends...no. There is no animosity, but it just couldn't be. I do believe this man was my soul mate, and to honest (and possibly viewed as incredibly stupid), a part of me believes we will merge again when the time is right in both of our lives. But, even if we don't, I'll always have that love...that experience. I'll have many friends in life but very few loves like that.
Run...jump...leap...do it.
"Well, maybe if a friendship can't withstand a try at love it wasn't the most stable friendship to begin with."
Very true. I found that out a couple of times. But now that I'm in THE relationship, I think that I'm glad that I found out that some of those old "friends now, could be more" were actually not as good of friends as I had thought. Turns out they didn't want to be my friend when we didn't end up getting serious.
I agree with notmiranda. Jump and find out. Otherwise you will always wonder.
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