Tuesday, March 15, 2005

somewhere only we know...

i'm pretty content with my current life situation. for this second anyway.

i took my first "independent trip" today. i met NotMiranda for lunch about 40 minutes away on public transportation, then i went even further away from my comfort zone and visited some museums nearby.

it was pretty fun. i had my iPod so i suppose i was closed off to human interaction, but sometimes you just don't need it.

the weather was gorgeous today, i still needed a coat but there were no clouds in the sky. i took my camera with but didn't take any pictures. i just wasn't feeling it. i think if i had taken any they would have turned out pretentious and normal.

and here goes with the reminiscing part...
even though i never went to these places with NotVegas, i couldn't help but think about him as i watched out the window at the scenes passing by at such a fast rate i blinked more than normal. around this time last year we were in a comfort zone of our own, we had our routine: we'd see each other at work since we had the same schedule, come home, change, one of us would call the other and we'd go out to dinner or a movie or just stay in and cuddle. rarely did we make the public appearance and when we did, it was just for a little before we made a small excuse like i was tired or he had to be up early just so we could go be alone. he made me want to be alone with him. alone. i closed myself off to others because i didn't want to share our time with anyone else.
we were always, always ALWAYS together. a matched set. if one of us showed up to a place early, the group would always ask where the other one was.
and now i'm afraid i can't be anywhere without someone else there too.

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